OT: Stud w/ a stud

This is really not  gastric bypass surgery related but where else am i gonna vent or ask this question?

A previous post that someone started a couple weeks ago really has me thinking and questioning myself. The poster said she was feeling more femme since loosing the weight and I'm just the opposite. You would think that going from 450 to 170 lbs, I would be excited to wear some sexy top, tight jeans and show off my size 10/12  body but I'm not. I'm more comfortable in "stud" clothing. Slowly but surely, i am pushing all the girly clothes to the back of my closet and wearing more "stud" clothes. I have so many ball caps now. When I take a picture, i feel fat and less confident in ladies clothing but if i put one some baggy shorts, a t shirt, my hat and tennis shoes, i feel very sexy!  I even do drag king shows and love it. I'm really good.. well i think i am. lol

OK, my point of this post is why is stud w/ a stud or butch w/ a butch (whatever you call it) more accepted with white lesbians? We have 2 gay clubs in Charleston and in the majority white club, you see a lot of studs with studs. In the majority black club, you never see it.  If i ask a black lesbian how she feels about it she is like NOOOOO way! I know it's not like that with everyone but since performing in both clubs i know what i see.
I was on facebook and someone had a link that was butch 4 butch.. omg, there was some sexy pics there.
I am more attracted to studs and i want to just come out as a stud and be comfortable. When I date studs now, i feel like I have to dress feminine for them. I just got out of a 4 yr relationship with a black stud and she said, "now you can be the stud that you really are"! That comment hurt me but at the same time, i knew she was just being real.  When i dress as a stud in the majority white club, i get a lot of white studs that flirt and hit on me.

Anyway, i was just wondering?? What is your comment? Why do you think it is?

Thanks! 

Hmm...in the gay club we go to you see a big mixture of relationships. I am fem and don't think I could date another fem. I want the tiara dammit!!! And my butch gf says she would NEVER date another butch.

LOL @ you wanting the tiara .. very cute.

Thanks for your comment! 

Interesting but true and its sad. Personally my prefrence is fems, but i think some black studs feel that we all are so manish for lack of better words that they forget when the clothes come off a woman is a woman. I know some studs that date other studs but its almost like they are on the DL like some men....very strange how we wont acceptance but dont accpet each other. BUT at the same time I think most studs are attracted to fems, a danty something to have on your arm I guess.

Best of luck to you!

Oh and the comment you ex made soo uncalled for, I asked my gf of 6yrs before the surgery how she would feel if i switched to fem(never would happen) after I lost weight and she said she would bounce. *shrug*

Thanks for your comment.

I do like fems but not fems that are overly feme. I like them like me.. jeans, cute t shirt and flip flops, very little make up and some lip gloss. Maybe I'm just picky?? 

Every since I got out of my 6 yr relationship cause she cheated on me as soon as i lost the weight, i cant seem to get this dating thing right.

Anyway, thanks for your comment

I am definately more femme since I lost weight...it was hard to adjust to at first but okay with it now...but I still like butch (that didn't change

I think you just need to be yourself and see who you are attracted to and not worry about labels so much. But I am not into trying to classify everyone....and not sure I understand "stud" but I am a small town girl here....

deb366

Hey Kay!

It's totally weird that some people in the Lesbo world are totallty hung up on labels and roles.  But unfortunately it does happen.  I personally am femme and my gf is a stud.  So we're the "typical" les couple.  But I do have a friend who also had WLS and is struggling with the whole "how do I find another stud" thing.  What I tell her is to just chill and focus on loving and accepting herself for who she is now and what she sees in the mirror.  That actually worked cuz she just hooked up this week. 

So I say to you, Kay, just chill and focus on loving who you are today and what you see in the mirror.  And also just step into what feels comfortable to you.  If you're more comfortable being more studly than femmie, then by all means be more studly.  If that puts off some studs, then they are not the right stud for you!  The more confident you are about who you are, the sexier and more authentic you are to others.  Celebrate your phenomenal self girl!  And holy ****!  You dropped 280 lbs!   Celebrate the **** outta that!  Woo hoo!

Strut ur stuff, ya hawt stud! :-)

Have i told you lately how much i love you and don't even know you?? LOL
Seriously, i appreciate your responce. It was nice and so true! I needed that.

Take care

Right back atcha!

Uh I'm the friend Maryn speaks of-and she's totally right... she usually is!