Yup, here we go again!

Just Brooke
on 6/9/10 6:22 am

Soo....my partner didn't have surgery until a year and a half after me! I've been really proud of her success and loved sharing the attention ...usually it's "wow, you both lost all that together?".

Except for ...2-3 days ago she asked me to "come see the scale". Usually that means it's a victory moment!

Yup, she's 2 pounds under me. FML. Since then I've felt like the ugliest piece of **** I told her not to tell me anymore what "her" scale says! I know I'm being a baby about it ....but when we first started dating I was always the heavier one - I was 285, she was 265. FINALLY I wasn't the heavier one and now I am again.

And now that is all I'm gonna here "wow, you are skinnier than Brooke now". And I know people aren't meaning it THAT way, but that is how my fat girl brain takes it!!!

Why the hell is it bugging me?

HagerstownMan
on 6/9/10 7:25 am - Hagerstown, MD

RNY on 05/08/08

it's human nature to be competitive :) but when it comes to losing weight, the shirt with the numbers on the back has to come off :)

Just Brooke
on 6/9/10 7:45 am

Im not taking my shirt off LOL!!!

Really, I want to cry. I don't even want to think about sex ...or sex in the future. I want to be all clothed up and "hide" the way I use to.

ejm42581
on 6/9/10 12:50 pm - Rochester, NY

RNY on 11/09/09

Brooke--- Ok...so when you started this weight loss journey did you know your partner was going to have the surgery too? Plus I am guessing when you were the "thinner" one that didn't mean your love for her changed. She is 2 pounds under you....that can all change in a matter of a couple of days, and you could be two pounds less than her. Competition is great and healthy, but you need to be proud of your accomplishment. Look back a year ago and think of the things you can do now that you couldn't do then. I am sure you look great and feel even better, be proud of what you have accomplished. Numbers on the scale are just that, just numbers....its all about how you feel. If you didn't know she was two pounds lighter, would you still feel great and be thinking about sex and not feel badly? Keep smiling Brooke you have lost a ton of weight and I am sure when people see you they say wow you look great, not wow your partner is skinner than you....

~~Erin

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judex
on 6/9/10 9:53 pm

Brooke..honey..it's bugging you because you have dropped back into fat-hating mentality.
That thinking was part of us for so long that it's institutionalized in our psyche's.

As fat people it is/was a way of life.
2 lbs means nothing more than a sign of her weight loss.It's not about you.(not everything is about us remember.)
My guess is gf is not out to get you. She's proud of herself. She wants you to be proud too.

you are great and you are doing great!

xx j

mark1963
on 6/9/10 11:25 pm - Fairfax (Marin County), CA

Brooke, I can't quite relate to having competition with a partner over weight loss, but I can very much relate to how the mind can take us to places that are detrimental to us. (I go to despair if I overeat.) What is most valuable to me is to set the emotion aside for a moment and try to look at the situation in unbaised way. A reality check, if you will. This is very hard for me to do, but it is helpful when I can do it.

It sounds like you have done so well which is great.

Mark

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

Michael S.
on 6/10/10 11:20 am

Just remember that 2 lbs is just a large ****!

Do not beat yourself up over it. You may find that you will self medicate and possibly fall back into old habits.

Good Luck!

Michael

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