I am so damn confused!!! (Not WLS Related)

Ok, this is the first time I am posting on these forums, but I am in need of advice/help. Here's the deal: I have been overweight my entire life, so I have just drawn myself in and I have never been in a relationship with a girl or guy. I am attracted to guys, but have never met a guy to have a relationship. After losing over 260 pounds, I am slowly starting to come out of my shell. I have a friend who is a girl. I like her, but I don't have any sexual attraction to her as far as I know of. She is putting out hints that she wants to start dating. I am scared. I want to try dating her and see if I am really gay, or if there is a chance of being into girls. On the other hand, I don't want to hurt her. She will technically be my first girl friend. I would like to be married and have kids some day, but I want to try things out with both sexes before I settle down and make my final decision. I pretty much missed out on all of this relationship and experimenting stuff when I was growing up because of my weight, and now (at the old age of 28) I am finally in a position where I feel semicomfortable to be with people. Is anyone else going through this issue where they missed out on this part of their life due to weight and after losing the weight you are ready to start dealing with this part? I just feel so lost! Any advice?

You sound like the male version of me, LOL!

With that said ..I have a physical attraction to men and women. But I feel more emotionally attached to women ...I find we are able to connect more on different levels. I don't label myself bisexual or lesbian ..I just say I'm in a commited relationship with a woman - call it what you want.

Even though you haven't dated ...I think we all just sort of know what we like. Whether it's men or women - blondes or brunettes - tall or short ..we know what we are attracted to. If you don't feel a sexual attraction towards this girl it might not be because you do or don't like women, it could simply be she isn't your type.

Rather than "dating" why not just casually go see a movie or go out to dinner. If there is a "spark" you'll know it. But make sure she knows all of this. The last thing you want to do is give the wrong impression.

You can be married and have kids with either sex - it will just be a little more of a challenge if you marry a man. But don't think you need to "settle" with a woman just to have children.

I think if you are still going to "try things out with both sexes" it needs to be a one night stand type of thing or feelings are just going to be hurt. No one should be left feeling like you used them to find out who you are - that would be a pretty ****ty feeling I'm assuming.

Play safe. Take it slow. You'll find someone who is right for YOU!

No one can tell you who you are- you know it in your heart, it's just society messing with your mind. If you want to date this girl go ahead, if you want to date men do that too- who says once your dating it's instantly exclusive. Follow your heart and don't ever settle.

I feel that it's always good to be friends first, no matter which gender. So, become friends and if you feel a spark, go for it, if not, you'll still have a good friend.
She might be someone you can confide in and she can help you figure it all out.
I didn't see "the light" until I was in my early 30s, and I'm glad it took that long, as I think I was able to handle it better emotionally.
I look back and see that the signs were there, but I was the last one to figure it out. DUH!!!
Also, as your confidence and self esteem increases you may become more sure of your preference.
Good luck and keep us posted.
We were all confused once upon a time too!!!!

 since my weightloss, funny enough, i have had more women hit on me than men.  like you, i was pretty reclusive for many many years and never had a relationship beyond one night stands and even then they were few and far between.  At one point I didn't have sex at all for about 5 years.  I'm still not comfortable in my own skin and that is something that going to take a lot of time to get over.  In the meantime, I'm slowly starting to leave my house for weekends whether it be biking on a trail, going down to DC to meet people for dinner or whatever.  for those that knew me before surgery, I don't think they have wrapped their heads around the fact that it's me yet LOL.  with that said, don't take the first bite that comes along.  weigh your options, do a lot of soul searching.  get some experience under your belt and then try to see if you want to settle down.

First of all you look great. I myself am still going through the pre-op process but my weight has always been an issue when it comes to my sex life. I am bisexual so i like to dabble in both realms but as we all know the gay world is full of shallow men, but you need to do what is going to make you happy. If you feel like you need to try to see if you are gay then come on over lol! Seriously you need to do whatever that makes you happy. Hope that helped a little.