Doing it alone

Hey All

 I am a newbie to this board, this site and WLS. I had the Lap Band surgery on 12/22/09. SOOOOOOO..... here I am a 1.5 weeks post op and going through a break up with my partner. New years eve she said she was ready to leave (meaning she thought I was well enough).

Now our relationship was FAR from perfect. There was tons of infidelity (on her part) and in return I could be hell to live with so it was about time to call it quits...i guess... i think...

But i really didnt plan on doing this alone.

I have been inside watching tv all day since she left yesterday and I would hate to become a couch potato (I did get my Wii Fit on today though).

thinking about rejoining WW just for the friends (I cant seem to find a support group near me -Atlanta)

so sorry for your loss...ending a relationship is difficult even when you know it is "time."  The good news is that this new journey may help you get through the break-up.  Now you can concentrate on creating a new, healthier lifestyle in 2010 without the old messages that may have been in the way before.  I have found since my surgery that I need to be a bit more self-involved than before so that I put what's most important first.  When you have the time to put yourself first, it may help you to reach your goals more easily.  You don't have to be alone...do you have local support groups?  family and friends?  good luck in your journey and let us know how you are doing.

SUCKS!  The timing of the break-up is poor but I agree it will allow you the chance to form new habits without old signals and cues. 

Give yourself a chance to grieve.  Don't be too hard on yourself about the TV watching.  Maybe get out for a short walk, then back to the couch? 

This board is great for support.

Hello there,

I"m sorry to hear about the breakup, and you're feeling alone. I fear I may start to feel the same way. I ended my relationship with my gf today.

Hang in there. Email the new friends you've made here and post on the boards often. You may meet some great connections, and even better meet some in your area.

Be well. Think positive. Live Healthy.

Ouch... now that was a rough  New Years. You already have alot to manage being so newly post op. Sorry for the end of your relationship and all the changes in your life that brings.

This is such a great place to look for support. WE are a varied and diverse group and everyone has alot of good stuff to offer in the way of advice and their own experiences. You don't have to feel so alone if you read and post to this board.

Look into the lap band site as well. I visit and post there. I am out on the board and no one reacted at all so it seems like a safe place for queer folk to visit.

It is great advice to let yourself grieve for a bit. So much of my issues with food have been about trying not  to feel. You are at the beginning of a new relationship with food so see if you can be gentle with yourself for the next phase of your life. Easier said than done but very much a part of our new journey.

Hang in there.

Thank you all so much for the kind words.

I will get over it. It's just REALLY bad timing.

I havent found a support group near me but I have been looking (thats how I stumbled onto this site) and I dont have any friends or family in the state but this site does help some.

I also just bought a Wii Fit and since she left I have atleast been doing my workout on that. It's almost like having someone to talk too.lol

But thank you all again.

I am a newbie to this forum. Your post made me feel. I am sad that your partner could not see you through this life changing time in your life, at least until you could get on your feet. That would have been the friend part of the relationship. But I guess not everyone thinks like me. I will not have my surgery until March, I am having RNY. But if need someone to talk to feel free to email me or I can call you I have Skype. This forum seems very friendly and willing to give support.
Altheia

I found a lot of support on OH.....my ex told me she was going to leave 3 days before my WLS....anyway...it was hell for awhile but I did make it through...had a wonderful holiday time, went cross country skiing with a new gf and spent NYEs with lots of friends...It is a hard thing to go through but sometimes I think when you are learning a new lifestyle it is easier to do on your own....

Anyway....hang in there, get support as you need it...from friends and online and it will get better and as you get better you will attract love into your life....and as you lose weight you will feel better about yourself....

wishing you the best, deb366

You are never ever alone - especially with a group like this on OH!

You are going to discover a whole new you that is deserving of a partner that treats you like a princess.  You'll see....you will start to look good and she'll beg for you to take her back - and you better NOT take her back either.

I'm in Atlanta as well, where did you have your surgery?   I had mine at True Results.   They have a monthly support group for banders that is free.   I enjoy going to that.

Jamie

I've considered creating a lapband singles group for Gay & Lesbian in Atlanta... maybe that can be a 2010 goal of mine....