family

So my oldest sister, Debbie,  calls me last night to tell me that one of our other sisters told her that she couldn't believe I am fitting in a size 8 now and she will be damned if her baby sister will be skinnier than her. Now my sister Connie (2nd oldest) has always been the skinny one, nic name scrawny connie. I laughed it off when she told me but then she said that connie said tell her when I hit 150 so she can start working out I didn't laugh. So while driving to work and all day it has been bugging me. I really thought Connie would be more supportive and happy for me. Her husband had RNY over a year ago. I found myself feeling angry . My family has always been hard on me about my weight since I was the only one that was fat till a few years ago. I have found my oldest sister has been my biggest supporter.

So anyway I told Deb to tell Connie not to worry she will always have a better body since she has had a boob job & tummy tuck to make sure it stays flat. I don't plan on having any surgeries.

Ok feel better since I vented...

From the sounds of things ( breast job and tummy tuck) I would say that your sister has body issues that haunt her. Although I know it is hard not to take it personally becasue she is talking about your weight, I suspect this really is her issue and she is a little self hating. It's so often the case that we don't know what our beign fat means to people.. they feel superior, scared for us, embarrassed or like that is how they can keep us.... need us to be fat so that they can gfeel better about themselves. Hang in there. Your ticker shows you are going strong!!!

Yeah....I have sisters too, and can't say they have been the most supportive over this whole deal...but I am far enough out now that I know how uncomfortable my weight (or lack of it now) can make others feel. I had somebody yesterday (with a great bod) tell me I was skinny...Anyway, I just try to not take things personally and try to just be me so folks don't feel bad about themselves around me...so many people, women especially, have body issues. And I try not to focus on my imperfections....there is so much more to life than how we look...

I am thankful for the support I have gotten on OH...it is good to have a place to vent. We all need that time to time. So your sis is probably jealous....which is sort of a backhanded compliment....even if she is insecure. Hang in there and keep up the good work. If it motivates her to get in shape and healthy...good for you both!

deb366

Thanks Jill & Deb. I went to support group last night and felt better. I get people telling me I'm skinny too and it's like no I'm not...just skinnier than the old me, lol. Thanks both of you. 

You know I hate those backhanded compliment too! My cousin (who I work with) keeps calling me "Flaca" which is skinny in Spanish and it totally bugs! I'm still over 270 lbs I'm where some people qualify for WLS- I am not skinny!

But I hope that you can work things out with your sister- I know the holidays put extra pressure on everyone. Good Luck

Thanks, she is in oklahoma so no worries there. Have you said anything to your cousin how it makes you feel? I don't think others think about what they say sometimes.

I tried to and she just sort of blew me off- saying I was being ridiculous. I just don't see as much because of it.

I'm jealous that you have relations with your sisters though. Mine hasn't spoken to me in 2 yrs!

I'm closest to my oldest sister, the other two I talk to occasionally and my brother hardly ever. We used to be best friends but after 23yrs of being out he still has difficulty with it. Otherwise i don't really talk with my family.  Family just isn't what it used to be. Friends become family.

Yes,  a lot of us gays have had to "make" our families from our friends- the upside....we actually like these people!! Yeah for the family we choose!

This is so true!