Relationship and Bypass stresses

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Just curious ..why are you even with her? You don't sound happy at all and you are totally NOT a jerk. Married, single ...it doesn't matter. This surgery is all about YOU and with certain things (like MAJOR surgery) it is comforting to have your Mommy with you (and I don't care how old you are). I think that happy thoughts and being surrounded by love and support will also help with your recovery time. I can't imagine recovering from surgery with someone who isn't even interested! You don't need to stand up to them ..you need to stand up to HER and let her know as nice as possible "look, this is about me right now and at this time I want my parents here" ...end of story!!!

p.s ..I'm in MA too :)

I have met a few of them at the Walk From Obesity back in September. They are planning on bringing food and old clothes to exchange.

Hey sweety i have read your post and i agree with brooke you really need to be upfront with her she obv doesnt support your decision and you absolutely do not need that around you. my good friend took care of me after surgery even tho her gf didnt approve she did. doesnt matter what my relationship is with her or was she was there during this time you need support and only you know who support system is like book said there is a gathering and youll meet alot of people from mass. Il be there and im Catherine and im very BLUNT, FUNNY AND ME lol j/k so welcome and stand on your two feet and tell her exactly how you feel... weather were straight/bi/gay whatever you have the right to feel as u do..

much love catherine

Well said Brook...


p.s cant wait to see you sunday

Ohh ..and check in the MA board here. One of the ladies in Bridgewater is having a Holiday party on the 13th ...you should go!!

I read your post and am thinking the same thing as Brooke.  This is a decision that you made to take care of yourself - stay on that path and continue to make good decisions where you keep taking care of yourself!  

One of the really great things that this surgery and this whole process has been teaching me more and more, on so many different levels is that I really need to learn more about self care.  I'm definitely starting to think that the more I can demonstrate taking care of myself, the more successful I will be with this journey.

Even though it may be hard to tell your gf that you wnat to be surrounded by people who will genuinely care for you and support you - and that she's not on that list right now.  You and her may grow from the truth being told.

I wish you the best of luck on this issue and your surgery.  This is challenging stuff to deal with.  Please let us know how it goes.

hi ya.  brooke is completely correct.  So many of us were living a very unhealthy life that led us to having WLS.  part of the unhealthy lifestyle that i can see you listing is putting your gf's needs ahead of your own.  this is absolutely about you.  if there is someone in your life that isn't fully supportive of you and this journey you are on, then it will best serve you to not have that person close to you.  The surgery and 2 weeks after is one thing.  But honey, the months and months after are a maaaaaajor part of this journey.  i strongly recommend that you surround yourself with people that are 100% supportive of you in this journey.  Your family sounds wonderful to come up and spend 2 wks with you during your recovery. 

your feelings about not wanting your gf around is totally OK and you should trust yourself on that.  You're not a jerk.  You are taking major steps to improve your health - both physically and emotionally.  Good on you! 

And definitely hook up with a local support group in MA.  mine is my life line.  I never miss a meeting. 

Congratulations on saying YES to yourself and making this journey yours.  To your health and happiness!

~ Maryn