Got my date of surgery today

I got my surgery date Today! Since I am very close to the required pre-op weight loss - I emailed the secretary yesterday and asked for a final date of surgery (I was scheduled in week 50 or 51) and the final check-ups by the surgeon, the Anesthesiologist, nutritionist and therapist - I am going there for these meetings Dec. 7. and my date of surgery is going to be friday Dec. 18.

I got aproved 8 weeks ago and started my pre-op weight loss diet. I am so on a plateau ... and really have to be strict now to loose the last 7 pounds - 7 pounds before dec. 18 is soo realistic ... I have done that lots of times .....

Also got 3 books about WLS today by the mail-lady ('before and after', WLS for dummies, and a WLS cooking book) and I am buying smaller dinnerplates and utensils - blenders, protein supplements and vitamins (Even though I am going to take the B12 and Vit. D as shots).

I am painfully aware of all the risks involved (have assisted and done a few surgical procedures as an MD myself) and know everything that can go wrong .... but I am very, very healthy at the moment and most complications are treatable or can be corrected. I try not to be a control freak - but I can't help but ask too many questions and give too many instructions about how I want to handle different problems, that may arise and how I want to be treated and what medications I want if .... but I do trust the surgeon and rather surgeons. They have performed more than 2500 RNY GBY and more than a 1000 bands - so I know they know what they are doing and their complication rate is excellent.

I  fear that it is going to be more painful than I expect - I fear leakage - I fear post op infections - and that I may develop some post op complications ... I fear the post-op sipping phase - fear being one of those who get sick from eating anything the first months - fear loosing my hair and looking like a bag of bones in too much skin. Fear that I will not loose much weight in spite of the surgery (I have seen that happen) . Knowing too much is not always an advantage. I just wish to get it over with so I can stop worrying .... and take it as it comes.

First of all, congratulations to you on getting your date! Losing that 7 pounds will seem like nothing if your motivation kicks into hyper drive like mine did when I got my date!

I am a nurse, and like you, suffered with the "know too much" about what can go wrong syndrome. I was a nervous wreck as I waited in the hospital for my surgery. My ex wife finally told the nurse and anesthesiologist how nervous I was and they smiled and reminded me to let them do the work they were good at and take a break from my control issues. Quite a humbling experience being on the other side of the IV pole!!

You have been amazingly supportive of everyone on these boards as we have announced our milestones and surgeries. I hope you are prepared to allow us to do that for you as well. This site has really been wonderful for me as I learn from others- their joys and struggles- and apply it to my own process. Having some of the mystery removed has been helpful. I suppose that isn't surprising as I come from the medical profession. Keep on coming here as well as to the RNY board. You will learn alot and maybe even address some of those control issues! Good luck to you.

Thanks Jill  

I sure know "too much" - but I certainly do not "Know it all".  Scientific knowledge about anatomy, physiology, micro-biology, pharmacology, obesity, psychiatry,nutrition etc. does not prepare a person to be on the other end of the scalpel or IV pole!  Personal experience is sometimes more important, and this is why I find the OH boards very helpful - since I can read about personal experiences about how to get through this - even though I have not learned about all the different message boards and features here on OH yet. I forgot about the RNY board! But until now - I as newbie - feel OK at the main and the GLBT board.

I do recognize the need to take a brake from my control issues - I think for me it is also trust issues. I am sure the surgeons and nurses will be relieved when I am "Out" LOL. I hope 10 mg of diazepam pre-op will help a bit. (and not more since I want to be up sitting and walking ASAP after surgery and take anti-emetics and only as much painkillers as needed (if needed?).

You writing " I hope you are prepared to allow us to do that for you as well" struck a cord with me. I am very open and supportive. On the other hand I am not very good at needing support and becomes all shy and surprised, if I get kind and supportive responses like yours on message boards.

Getting the date is a relief - and I know how to beat a plateau - all the things I don't know - I will take as they come and be humble enough to ask for advice about from people who have tried it.

Wow... it is like we are twins my friend. I can support and charm the heck out of other people but I am so bad at letting others give it to me. ( You wanna know what is really scary?? I am a therapist to boot)  I could not stand the idea of being OUT on that table... not able to monitor and joke my way through but instead trust myself to others.
 
The gift was my friends and my ex wife ( *****ally saw how freaked out I was) loving me through that. My ex wife holding my hand in pre-op reminding me what I was doing this for and after watching me charm and joke with the staff, telling on me about my fear and asking them to take care of me in the operating room. As they placed the O2 mask over my face I could feel myself panic and the OR nurse came over to rub my arm and ask me to tell her about the ocean.. ( I suspect my ex wife told them to ask me about that b/c I am from Nova Scotia and the ocean settles me like nothing else).

So there ya go! She went through the fire only to find love, support and vulnerability are so much better than distance, staying safe and in control and taking care of others but not giving them the right to take care of me.

So now I wish that for you doc. That you can let the other pros do their work and stay connected to the process, to the people you love and to yourself.

Hey how are you feeling...you are a couple of weeks out now, and hopefully adjusting to your new life.  What a great gift to have our ex wife there.  YOu just can't have enough friends while you are going through it.

Debbie

I am doing really well Debbie. First post op visit tomorrow. I was really blessed as I got ready for this surgery. I had 4 friends who did the liquid diet with me for the 10 days before my surgery and the whole crew of my friends and family have been so great. You're right! Couldn't do it without 'em!!

Yes we sure seems very alike in this area! What great friends you have!  I am sadly totally unable to let friends be supportive and it makes me kind of sad that I have so little trust and that I need to show any vulnerability. I wish I could let more friends in - I do have some good close friends - but I am not telling many people that I am even going through this surgery. I think deep down I am ashamed that I have become obese and beat myself up for it - much more than I need I guess.

So I will go alone - I know that safety and control are illusions. I can do this - Just saw the ocean near Nova scotia the other day on Discovery travel - since I need to record the family fat surgeons series (Big medicine?) . I Hope I will one day be able to go there and fish some of the beautiful salmon rivers there.

Hope you are doing well Jill!

Congratulations on your date.  I remember so well the day I finally got my date.  I was excited and scared at the same time.  I didn't have to lose any weight before the surgery but that was only because I was on meds that really did not allow me to lose (actos for diabetes)  Before my surgery I spoke to many people who had the surgery.  Almost all of them said it really wasn't that bad.  I think that is the majority of people, but for me that just wasn't so.  I am telling you this because I was totally unprepared.  I had quite a bit of pain, but the pain meds worked GREAT.  I was tired and really had to let myself sleep.  The problem was I could not lay flat without discomfort so I spent the first week sleeping in a recliner.  I have heard others complaining about this problem so you should be ready to sleep sitting up for awhile.  I had a post of infection and then ended up back in the hospital with severe dehydration.  Turns out I am not unable to digest dairy products.  Now as I say this I want you to know that  IT IS SO WORTH IT.  Durning the first month I never thought that I would be able to say that.  My doctor told me that in the thousands of surgerys he has done only one person said they wished they had not done it , after all was said and done.  He said some of the people had even had really bad complications and they still thought it was worth it.

I work in the medical field as well ( I am a geriatric speech pathologist)  and I had spent a huge amount of time researching the procedures complications ect.  I guess the think I told myself was that at my current weight I was going to not live long.  If there was a chance of living a longer healthier life I just had to take it.  It was hard for me to ask my partner to take those risks with me but she knew that we were going to have happier years in the long run. My suggestion is enjoy this time before surgery, have fun and know that there will be a few weeks of harder times, but you will come out ahead in the end.  I decided not to call my date a surgery date.....I instead called it my butterfly day...the day I was going to start my transformation.  I even showed up at the hospital with a butterfly head band on.  This helped me to focus on the positive outcome.

The other day you wrote to me and were so supportive.  Though I hope you don't mind that I told it how it happened for me,  I know that you will be so glad you did this in the end.  Tomorrow is 2 months since my surgery and I have lost 50 pounds.

Good luck and keep us posted.

 

Debbie

It sure is not a "date" I look forward to - even though the doc. is quite handsome and it does give me the butterflies in my stomach!

I think I will begin a count down - 5-4-3-2-1- and we have -  LIFT OFF (I hope gravity will be kinder towards me after that - DATE!

You sure had a lot of complications! It is rather unusal to have had it that bad - what a trooper you are - even though I can imagine you shed some tears too.

I hope I will not need much pain meds - I will take what is needed - but I have had a pain med addiction before - so I have to be strict with myself. I also have an elevation bed - sorry to hear you had to sit up sleeping!! And I also fear developing lactose intolerance - I hope it will pass over time for you as it do for some after RNY?

I truly hope that I will become happy for my decision to go through with this - I sure have and are weighing the pro and cons. I have no desire to become any bigger - it is hard enough as it is - and I know that I am even considered light weight - here on OH.
I know I need to take it as it comes and deal with complications - if I get any? Not all get as many as you - we are so different.  I also know that I need to stop obssesing about everything that can go wrong - chances are bigger that it will go well.

Congrats on your amazing fast weight loss so far - I hope it slows down a bit though - otherwise your wife needs to file a missing person claim soon!

Thanks for the laugh.  My wife and I just chuckled at the last lines of your post. 

I don't  know about not looking forward to the "date" though I was nervous I couldn't wait for the day to come.  Maybe if you keep thinking about getting to see your "hot" doctor it will make it easier.LOL   Gravity is definately kinder now for me.  I can walk the dog without having to stop and take a rest.  and I really am enjoying the water exercise class.  There are quite a few large people in the class and I don't even think I am the largest which is kind of cool.

Some of my friends that have had the surgery did not have ANY complications infact one said it was a "piece of cake"  And remember no matter how tough things were for me I am still grateful every day for this chance.  I have been going to a therapist since my surgery and she is helping me with some of the emotional issues that I believe brought me to this weight.  I have also had to increase my antidepressants as I had some severe depression post op.  Some of the problem may have been that I was not absorbing my meds the way I used to .  My additional meds and the therapist are working wonders. I do think that some of that old junk that happens in childhood that we can not change gets stuffed down deep and often people look for ways to make the pain go away.  Mine has always been food, but it sounds like you tried many things to make it better.  I hope that this surgery and the time you will have to spend focusing on yourself afterward will help you get to the root of those things.  My therapist is using some interesting methods to help me connect with my inner child and address the issues.

So tell me about your life in Denmark.  I have traveled quite a bit in europe but never to your country.  The last trip my wife and I took was for my 40th birthday.  We visited Venice and then took a cruise of the Greek islands.  It was a wonderful time.  I know you are a doctor , what is your specialty?  Your English is fantastic...I guess you must have studied it quite a bit in school. How long will you be in the hospital when you have your surgery?  I was in for 3 days and went home as soon as the blue dye test was negative.

Our Thanksgiving is next week a complete celebration of FOOD.  My wife and I will travel from Pennsylvania to Michigan to spend the holiday with her family.  IT is about a 13 hour drive.  When we get there we ( well really Just me) are responsible for the entire dinner for her family.  Traditionally we eat Turkey Mashed potatoes, bread stuffing and cranberry sauce with a variety of vegetables and pumpkin pie at the end of the meal.  It will be very difficult to not overeat at this meal....it is one of my favorites.  It also stinks that I am going to make this huge feast and not be able to eat it.  Not that I really mind exactly I really do want to make them a fantastic dinner. 

Well it is time for Monday night Football...gotta run.  Congrats on making your pre-op weight.  I am sure you are glad you met that goal.  Do you know your exact date yet  ( the day you get to see Doctor hansome again).  And what is this about all these woman and their marriage proposals?  That is really funny.

Have a good night.