Saying Hello...

Hi, All!

My name is Danielle and I have an 11/9 surgery date in Boston.  I popped on very briefly over the summer, but I am ready and eager to connect now that things are really moving. 

My wife is very excited for me, but I know she is nervous too.  We are both big girls, and though she isn't as big as I am, she wants to lose weight too.  I also have some great friends who are OW.

How has surgery helped/hurt those friendships/relationships?  Thats one of the only things I am nervous about...that and my tattoos :)

Danielle

 Hi Danielle!

I am Jude from Boston. 
I had my surgery at MGH on June 2 and it went very smoothly..surprisingly so. No complications at all.
My wife is and has been very supportive of my decision to have RNY and pleased with the results..my activity level, stamina and mood have all improved and that is good for us. I have lost 74 lbs. so far. It is unbelievable Danielle!

Anyway we were nervous as were our friends and families, naturally..It was,  as I say, a piece of cake for me. and the friends..well, everyone supported the decision to go forward with the operation however 2 of my oldest friends are having a difficult time with it mostly because we all were active in the Fat Liberation movement and it's hard for the to accept that I did this..
But they are trying to hang in there and I love that they are doing that..they just won't ask any questions about the whole procedure..
Oh one more thing..one of our friends had it done on Sept. 1 and she no longer has diabetes..!
Terrific side effect!

Best , 

jude

 Hi Jude!

I can't believe the stories I hear and see about people improving their stamina and health.  I am really looking forward to it.  

I am nervous that our really good friend, who is really overweight too, will resent that I did it.  She has thought of it, but isnt there yet.  I dont want her to feel alienated when I am sharing things I am going through.  We talked really frankly though, and I think it will be OK.

Thanks so much for your message :)

Its nice to hear from some other local people too!

Hi Danielle,
Congrats!! i hope things go well for you during your surgery.. I cant comment on the relationship side of things seeing as how i'm terminally single.. BUT i can comment about other things..
A. Sex gets easier!!! you have more energy and it feels better..
B. the Tattoos will be fine.. i've lost 120 lbs.. and i have 2 tattoos that i've had for years.. they have shrunk along with my skin. so i think you'll be ok there..
Good Luck!
D

 Thanks, D!

a.  def. looking forward to it :)  Wife is too.

b.  really good to hear!  I have a big piece across my back and shoulders, but I am hoping it will shrink too.  If/when I need skin removed it will be the loser skin thats not tatted.

Thanks so much!

Danielle

 hey there Danielle :)  Welcome to the board!  congratulations on your date and I'm sure you are excited about it all.  I have to say that I was once a "fat advocate".  My motto was "if it ain't broke, don't fix it" that is until my body broke LOL  and I had to fix it! declining health will make you re-think a lot of things.  and for those friends that I have lost because of this, they weren't friends to begin with.  If they were truly my friends then they would have accepted the fact that I needed to stay alive!

keep an open and honest communication with your wife is the best advice I can give you.  One good thing you both have going is as you're going through your transformation, your wife has the same desire to do that for herself as well which will make the journey much more amicable between you two.  however, just keep in the back of your mind this cannot be a competition between you both because it will be obvious that you will lose weight quicker than she will and she might get a little irritated but since i don't know your wife, i could be totally off the mark :)

I wish you all the happiness in the world and a safe and speedy recovery!

welcome welcome welcome!!!!   yOU HAVE MADE A wonderful DECISION!!  I'm glad everyone had an answer for you because I just only had surgery on Sept. 24th.  For me, its been tough mentally.  (I am SUCH a fat girl, lol)  BUT, It's been great for the most part.  To lose weight so fast and be able to see the results is unbelievable!!!  I just wanna cry I'm so happy!  I also am excited everytime I see a big girl sister get the happiness and health she deserves!!  So, welcome and here's to happiness.  Anything you wanna know dont hesitate, you're not that far ahead!  Jill

Morning!

Welcome first of all. I had my surgery 5/11/09 and I will say it has been the best thing for me. I feel fabulous about myself and life (again). I actually wasn't nervous till after the surgery. I am scared of failing at some point. It helps to have a very supportive partner. On the other hand sometimes hard because she has never been ow the way I was. As far as friendships everyone has been so supportive and encouraging me along the way. I have 13 tatts and so far they look great. I was worried they would look difigured since I have them on my legs, back & arm. Hopefully they continue to look so well.

I'm excited for you, best of luck!!!

Vickie

 Thanks, Vickie!

Glad to hear about the tats. :)  I have them on my arms, legs and shoulders/back too.  

My wife is really supportive so far, but she also has never seen me skinny.  Heck, I haven't seen myself that way since I was a kid!  Neither of us can really picture it.  What is your partner's size, if you don't mind me asking.  My wife has some extra weight, and though she is dieting too, I know she is nervous that when i am thinner than her that she or I will be disappointed.  I told her I don't care, but I know she is nervous.

Was that an issue for you?

Thanks!!
Danielle

Yeah on the surgery date! It is the best thing I ever did for my health.

My partner left before the surgery....have a new gf now....and I agree with the Fuzzy....mmmmm.....sex is better and different ('nough said).

As far as friends and other people go.....well it is a toss up. My sisters are somewhat jealous of me...and it has changed our relationship some. I go out of my way to keep my old friends but I can tell sometimes that the way they look at me that it is hard for them. I try to be clear that I am the same person and still have struggles in my life. I think sometimes OW folks think you lose weight and life is fantastic...just be real with your friends....you have no control over their own issues ...some people can't deal with the change.

And my tattoo is great BUT it is on my foot and hasn't changed that much (shoe size has though). All the best to you on your journey!

deb366