the sloooww process.

so i called and set up for my first steps program! that 395$ class!
which is november ninth! i have my 4 month check up today,
and then in december i have the laaaaast month of a doctor watch over.
i'm praying that the rest of the process just sliides on by! we're hoping & praying that
i will have my surgery in late jan early feb! or even late feb! i have just always wanted to have it in winter so i can come out in summer looking absolutely different. (:

one question lovelies,  i am absolutely terrified of something happening to me.
i am only eighteen, i DONT want to die, i know everyone says that,.
and i'm absolutely healthy, i dont have any heart problems, no problems with anastecia.
but i have really bad panic attacks, and i dont want to be in the room getting ready, see my mom, brother,and best friend cry and me just freak out. if you had the surgery how did you calm yourself down? we're you freaking out in the process? my moms surgeon was at the support group last night and he said out of 500rny's only 2 have ever died. thats a very low number. just as the time gets closer the more afraid i get.

Hi, I know for me I was more nervous the night before. I also have panic attacks. My son & his wife came down from Oregon to be with me, and my son was more worried than I was at first. So the night before I explained I needed some me time. I took a shower and went in my room early meditated, prayed and listened to soft music till I fell asleep. I awoke feeling great with a little bit of butterflies. When I got to the hospital I was still nervous till I went in the room and it all went away. I just felt like I am at the right place at the right time, it's meant to be. Not to scare you but my son had reason to be nervous he had a friend die a week after having the surgery a year before. I thought what if it happened to me, but in the long run I am also a person that believes everything happens for a reason. So I put myself in gods hands...and here I am today feeling better with my life than I ever have. I am so grateful to have this opportunity to change my life. I will keep you in my prayers. Good luck !

The fear is normal and actually good, because we are at our strongest when we are afraid- and then continue on.

I was so nervous right before, and I was about to launch into weepy ugly tears, but then my family and partner came in and I thought to myself,  "it's all going to be okay"- and it was.

You're young and relatively healthy so your chances of a great surgery  are increased exponentially ! Just remember that you are having this surgery to save your life, focus on that and let us know when it happens because we'll all be sending you good vibes.