Why do I complain?

Don M.
on 10/15/09 6:29 am - Los Angeles, CA
Just wanted to post a little something on here for the folks considering the surgery.  Keep in mind, I'm just speaking for myself.  Everyone who has WLS has their own experience - I wouldn't dream of speaking for them.

I'm so very happy now.  I'm just so incredibly, unarguably, ridiculously freakin' happy with my life now.  WLS may have been the best decision I've ever made in my life.  Everything is better for me than it was a year ago.  I can walk everywhere, now.  I breathe easily.  I can buy clothes in most normal stores.  I don't get the looks in the street, or condemned for eating the same lunch as the guy next to me who weighs half as much as me.  I can participate in the world without feeling like I'm not wanted, like I'm crashing a party that I wasn't invited to. 

When I let myself, I feel my heart shake with a joy I don't quite know how to express.

So why is it that every other post I make is *****ing about something or another?

Because making your life better isn't easy.

The surgery didn't fix everything.  All it did was make my body respond to dieting the way I always thought it was supposed to.  I had to do the rest of the hard lifting myself - getting to the gym, getting to the therapists office, taking both of those activities seriously and doing the work.  This has been HARD.

It doesn't fix everything.  Hell, I date a lot less now that I'm thinner.  I knew how to sell myself when I was fat, and have less confidence in my body now that I'm nearing this side of "normal".  I just realized a few days ago I haven't gotten laid since my surgery.  Gah!  Nearly a year.   I'm constantly broke from the need for new clothes, more vitamins, more medical procedures.  It's exhausting talking weight loss with every man, woman and child who knows how much you've lost and want to celebrate your victory with you, or follow in your footsteps.  And the gym...always the gym....

Complaining about these little things makes them easier to bear, but complaining TO other people makes me feel insufferable.  But here, complaining WITH people who understand, who are on the same trip or preparing for it...it makes these things funny, comic moments that mark the trail.  It's like I'm following the way signs left by people who walked this road before me, and repainting the signposts for those who are still behind me.

Thank you to the people on here who listen to me complain.  Thank you to the people on here who hear me ***** and moan and let me know that I'm not alone.  Thank you to the people who help me get through all the little things that seem so hard when the rest of life becomes so very easy.

I hope that all of you get to complain about the little things, like I do, because there's nothing more serious to worry about.

Thanks for listening.
    
Deb366
on 10/15/09 12:31 pm
Don, great post. Thank you for sharing. Had a bad day at work and it was good to remember that things are, in many ways, so much better than they used to be.

Gratitude offers a good perspective on the process...and is just a nice frame of mind to have. Hoping when you feel ready to be in a relationship the right guy or guys will be there for you to find ( or vice versa).

deb366

 

Currently 125  pounds
Kathy W.
on 10/15/09 5:48 pm - Enfield, CT
RNY on 01/15/08 with
LOL I realized as I was reading this that I mostly ***** when I post anymore. And you are right. It's cause only here can I find people that understand. I swear I am surprised I have any friends on the preggers board since all I do is ***** there. Good news is a lot of us ***** there. Why? Cause there are others there that understand. That is part of the journey outsiders wouldn't understand.

I shall now be know as Hagatha: Queen of the queens.

Baby 7-09

Xavier Elliott born 10-5-10

nadine_rl
on 10/16/09 2:32 am - Pinole, CA
Don...I have appreciated every complaint of yours that I've read! 

On another note - you posted, quite some time ago, about being brave and joining a gym.  Just wanted to let you know that your post stuck with me and I joined a gym the other day, met with a trainer, and held my head high!  It felt awesome to do that...and I than you for your post.  It made a difference for me.
        
Don M.
on 10/16/09 3:17 am - Los Angeles, CA
Oh, Nadine, that's AWESOME.  I'm so glad that you did it, and that I could help in some small way!  Stick with it - it sucks, at times, but the payoff has been really, really worth it.
    
mst42
on 10/16/09 9:40 pm - Ithaca, NY
Loved your post - made me think as always!

I keep wondering what happens when the exhaustion of praise ceases . . . I find myself slowly losing momentum . . . How do we keep it up?  For the gym?  For the portion control?  For making good choices most of the time?  I keep finding my life speeding back up with too many restaurants, nights out with temptation and not enough open evenings for the gym . . . too retro-Meg for me.  


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