Some very dear friends of mine on Facebook decided not too long ago to start a hidden group of women who were determined to lose weight, but with a twist. None of them are doing it to "become hotties" or anything like that. We're doing it for our health and to find more strength as women. It's kind of a feminist online health club. We've been posting a lot of blogs about accepting ourselves and finding some inner peace while we tackle all the issues that come about when you're trying to lose weight. I had mentioned in one of my posts that some one had actually said at one point "she should have the surgery so maybe she'll stop embarassing the family."
It caused a few people to get really ticked out of defence of little ol me, which I found very touching, but to diffuse the situation, I decided to post a blog to kind of redirect the focus. Here's what I wrote, but I modified a little so it makes more sense to you guys. The more I read it, the more I wonder if it really came from me LOL. I thought if anyone was having "self image issues" it might help.
Just so everyone knows the "embarassment to the family" comment was something I overheard and not said directly to me. And yes, the person that said it got a Come to Jesus Meeting by my mother that in retrospect was actually quite entertaining :).
It wasn't something I hadn't heard before. I've been told that because of my weight, my general appearance, my sexuality, hell even my tattoos. Can I honestly say it doesn't effect me? No, of course not. If it didn't I wouldn't have said anything about it. But when the hurt starts to dissapate, I start to feel like those things are here to make me a stronger person and a stronger woman. And the more I hear it, the less I subscribe to those dogmas that society tries to dictate to us - this is what you're supposed to look like, this is what you're supposed to do, this will make you happy....it's all bull **** What makes you happy is inside each of us. We all have to find our own individual serenity in order to get to it.
A lot of people have mentioned coincidences and how a certain song or something that happened lead to an AHA! moment of some kind. It's reminded me of two things.
The first was something my old AA sponsor used to tell me. If I ever chalked something up to coinicidence, she'd always correct me and say "Coincidences are God's (or your favorite diety's) way of staying anonymous." It didn't make sense to me at first but then again, sobriety and I didn't mix well in the beginning. But as the drug enduced fog that I was in started to fade, I could start to see how life sometimes takes care of us instead of challenging us. Hell, sometimes those challenges do take care of us in the end.
The other thing I thought of is one of my tattoos. I have a tribal phoenix across my chest that I "coincidentally" got right before my ex wife and I rather unexpectantly broke up. I can't tell you how many times I've stared at that tattoo when I'm going through a hard time. The phoenix is a symbol for change. It's a firery mythical bird that is immensely powerful. So much so that it will literally burn itself to death, but then be reborn out of its own ashes. And to boot its tears have healing powers. (And before you ask, no, I got the tattoo way before that Harry Potter came out)
I feel like that's where a lot of us are. We've burned ourselves to death in our struggles and we're all being reborn out of our own ashes. The tears we've shed and will shed on our journeys are there to help us heal, not wallow. We just all have to make the decision to let them. This is the chance we have to reinvent our perceptions of ourselves and turn all of the negatives we've been taught into a celebration of ourselves.
It doesn't matter if you're struggling with weight or a relationship or even your job. It all comes back to your own self image and how much your value your own well being. It's never easy to balance that with the demands that we all have. We forget ourselves so easily, but it's like I always say - you're the one you have to live with for the rest of your life. We all need to strive to make that person some one worth living with - day by day, hour by hour, moment by moment.
It caused a few people to get really ticked out of defence of little ol me, which I found very touching, but to diffuse the situation, I decided to post a blog to kind of redirect the focus. Here's what I wrote, but I modified a little so it makes more sense to you guys. The more I read it, the more I wonder if it really came from me LOL. I thought if anyone was having "self image issues" it might help.
Just so everyone knows the "embarassment to the family" comment was something I overheard and not said directly to me. And yes, the person that said it got a Come to Jesus Meeting by my mother that in retrospect was actually quite entertaining :).
It wasn't something I hadn't heard before. I've been told that because of my weight, my general appearance, my sexuality, hell even my tattoos. Can I honestly say it doesn't effect me? No, of course not. If it didn't I wouldn't have said anything about it. But when the hurt starts to dissapate, I start to feel like those things are here to make me a stronger person and a stronger woman. And the more I hear it, the less I subscribe to those dogmas that society tries to dictate to us - this is what you're supposed to look like, this is what you're supposed to do, this will make you happy....it's all bull **** What makes you happy is inside each of us. We all have to find our own individual serenity in order to get to it.
A lot of people have mentioned coincidences and how a certain song or something that happened lead to an AHA! moment of some kind. It's reminded me of two things.
The first was something my old AA sponsor used to tell me. If I ever chalked something up to coinicidence, she'd always correct me and say "Coincidences are God's (or your favorite diety's) way of staying anonymous." It didn't make sense to me at first but then again, sobriety and I didn't mix well in the beginning. But as the drug enduced fog that I was in started to fade, I could start to see how life sometimes takes care of us instead of challenging us. Hell, sometimes those challenges do take care of us in the end.
The other thing I thought of is one of my tattoos. I have a tribal phoenix across my chest that I "coincidentally" got right before my ex wife and I rather unexpectantly broke up. I can't tell you how many times I've stared at that tattoo when I'm going through a hard time. The phoenix is a symbol for change. It's a firery mythical bird that is immensely powerful. So much so that it will literally burn itself to death, but then be reborn out of its own ashes. And to boot its tears have healing powers. (And before you ask, no, I got the tattoo way before that Harry Potter came out)
I feel like that's where a lot of us are. We've burned ourselves to death in our struggles and we're all being reborn out of our own ashes. The tears we've shed and will shed on our journeys are there to help us heal, not wallow. We just all have to make the decision to let them. This is the chance we have to reinvent our perceptions of ourselves and turn all of the negatives we've been taught into a celebration of ourselves.
It doesn't matter if you're struggling with weight or a relationship or even your job. It all comes back to your own self image and how much your value your own well being. It's never easy to balance that with the demands that we all have. We forget ourselves so easily, but it's like I always say - you're the one you have to live with for the rest of your life. We all need to strive to make that person some one worth living with - day by day, hour by hour, moment by moment.
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