I need a hug

Vulnerablity can be very difficult to throw out there sometimes.  Did you ever have that kind of day where you were not depressed, you are actually kinda happy but, with a blue feeling surrounding it?  Where you know what you really need is just a great big hug from someone who genuinely cares about you.  Maybe open all the window in the house and let the breeze blow through and just sit and talk with someone that wants only good things for you.  Someone who loves you just because.  I know this is a wierd post but, I don't know...I just need a hug.  Surely some of you have this need sometimes?

I'll tell you this all stems from living with my GOH (grumpy old husband).  He hates affection and intimacy from me and my gelatinous form,  when I don't get it from him, especially on days like today,  I get it from the chinese buffet.  I'm trying to break that today by reaching out in a different way.

Just some thoughts, thanks for reading.

Ah, Lane.  I absolutely know that feeling.  I refer to it as feeling "grey".  Not sad, not happy, but something missing from your life that day - the color.

While I can't offer you the hug you need right now, I can offer you the assurance that things get better.  I know your struggling with figuring out a way to get your WLS, but take this opportunity - like you said - to try out some new things in your life.  You need to, because that "grey" feeling doesn't go away after WLS.  WLS is just the spark that forces a lot of us to start tackling the things in our life that keep us in the greys.  

At 8 months out from the surgery, I can't believe how much better life can be than I ever knew, but that change didn't just come from the weight loss.  For me, the change came from looking at my life and figuring out what problems I had within my own mind, in the patterns I'd set up for myself, and in making it clearer to the people around me what I needed and what I wouldn't put up with anymore.  If your GOH isn't being supportive to you right now, maybe you could have a solid heart to heart with him about how he's sending you to the buffet when he treats you that way.

Maybe that's too big a step right now?  That's up to you.  But take this chance to start making the big changes in your life that will make your WLS work for you when you finally get the chance to move forward on it.

Hang in there, Lane.  Sometimes it takes the world a little longer than it should to realize just how awesome we are.

Boy did you nail it.  That is exactly what I'm talking about.  And , thank you for your kind and wise words.  Perhaps now isn't the time to address issues in my relationship but, for today...I can find some comfort in knowing someone out there gets it.  Thank you so much for your thoughtful and insightful reply.

I love "not sad, not happy but something missing from your life that day - the color"!!!!!

awesome post.....

Now listen up child!!!  I am hugging the daylights outta you right now Lane!!! 

You don't need the Chinese buffet, you need a little TLC.  There are some days when I feel happy yet blue as well.  I don't know if you know who I'm about to reference, but when I feel like that, well, I have my Stuart Smalley moment....I go to the bathroom and look myself in the mirror, right in the eyes and tell myself nice things about me.  Sounds cuckoo but it helps! Now get those ideas about General Tso's out yo head!

Stuart Smalley  I totally forgot about him.  Al Franken's alter ego, right?  Thanks for that Mimi, you put a big grin on my face.

SENDING A BIG HUG YOUR WAY FROM SAN DIEGO.  YOU ARE LOVABLE...I HAVE NOT MET YOU BUT I HAVE AN INTIUATIVE SENSE ABOUT PEOPLE.  GOOD FOR YOU FOR ASKING FOR WHAT YOU NEED AND WANT.

{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Thank you, Zac.  Today, really and truly, that means the world to me. 

Lane, you're kinda far away from me so a big, giant, virtual hug will have to suffice.  I'm stymied by how GOH could possible hate affection from someone as adorable as you!!!!

Nadine