New kid in town...
Just started the process with the one surgeon in NY my insurance seems to work with. It's been a frustrating month; calling around, trying to get what seems to me to be some very simple answers.
But Thursday I go to a support group meeting for the first time, and I am feeling weird about it.
I went to one of those "what is bariatric surgery and why you should do it with ME" seminars last month. They had two people who were 18 months - 2 years post op telling us their inspiring stories. Nice, huh?
Except...one of them said her reason for doing it was so that she didn't become "the fat mom" and talked about how excited she was to buy small size clothing. The other was a little better for me - at least he talked about doing it for his health.
I fear I am going to hate the support group requirement because I will be the only queer in the room and I don't care about what size clothing I will wear or what my "husband" will say when I model lingerie... (gag.) I'm comfortable being out, that's not the problem. But I have too often been the only lesbian in the room, and therefore the sole representative of, well, you know. The whole gay agenda thing.
"What do gay people think about lap band vs. RNY?"
"Well, in our last national meeting, we decided to stay neutral. But thanks for asking!"
Anyhoo, that's this week's weird feeling. Tomorrow I call around to try to get an abdominal ultrasound and figure out when they can send me to a psychiatrist to let them know I am fairly sane and will not use my weight loss for evil. And maybe order some protein samples.
Laura
PS: What's the deal with people using *** in words? Some of them I can figure out in context...but others leave me thinking "what? is this a swear word I don't know?"
But Thursday I go to a support group meeting for the first time, and I am feeling weird about it.
I went to one of those "what is bariatric surgery and why you should do it with ME" seminars last month. They had two people who were 18 months - 2 years post op telling us their inspiring stories. Nice, huh?
Except...one of them said her reason for doing it was so that she didn't become "the fat mom" and talked about how excited she was to buy small size clothing. The other was a little better for me - at least he talked about doing it for his health.
I fear I am going to hate the support group requirement because I will be the only queer in the room and I don't care about what size clothing I will wear or what my "husband" will say when I model lingerie... (gag.) I'm comfortable being out, that's not the problem. But I have too often been the only lesbian in the room, and therefore the sole representative of, well, you know. The whole gay agenda thing.
"What do gay people think about lap band vs. RNY?"
"Well, in our last national meeting, we decided to stay neutral. But thanks for asking!"
Anyhoo, that's this week's weird feeling. Tomorrow I call around to try to get an abdominal ultrasound and figure out when they can send me to a psychiatrist to let them know I am fairly sane and will not use my weight loss for evil. And maybe order some protein samples.
Laura
PS: What's the deal with people using *** in words? Some of them I can figure out in context...but others leave me thinking "what? is this a swear word I don't know?"
Welcome, and good luck to you.
About the support groups...I've been going to the support groups for WLS for a couple of months. I enjoy them. I learn something from hearing people talk every time I go to one. Now, I've been to a lot of weight loss stuff over the years and way more than my fair share of groups. The groups for WLS have been the only ones that I can tolerate. These are people, like me, that have a lot of weight to lose. We've all chosen or at least are seriously considering this major life altering option.
I had the same fears as you do about the support groups, and I have to say that mine turned out to be totally unfounded. My lesbianism hasn't been an issue or an obstacle in any way - and my wife comes to most of the meetings with me to support me. I have received nothing but kindness, understanding and support from these groups.
In fact, the first couple of groups that I went to, this so-called big tough lesbian (me) had to struggle fighting back tears because the post-ops were so inspiring and the changes that they made in thier lives were so absolutely moving.
I really hope you have similar experiences in your support groups.
Are you really sure you don't want to use your weight loss for evil???? I have so many evil plans for when I lose all of my weight?
Nadine
About the support groups...I've been going to the support groups for WLS for a couple of months. I enjoy them. I learn something from hearing people talk every time I go to one. Now, I've been to a lot of weight loss stuff over the years and way more than my fair share of groups. The groups for WLS have been the only ones that I can tolerate. These are people, like me, that have a lot of weight to lose. We've all chosen or at least are seriously considering this major life altering option.
I had the same fears as you do about the support groups, and I have to say that mine turned out to be totally unfounded. My lesbianism hasn't been an issue or an obstacle in any way - and my wife comes to most of the meetings with me to support me. I have received nothing but kindness, understanding and support from these groups.
In fact, the first couple of groups that I went to, this so-called big tough lesbian (me) had to struggle fighting back tears because the post-ops were so inspiring and the changes that they made in thier lives were so absolutely moving.
I really hope you have similar experiences in your support groups.
Are you really sure you don't want to use your weight loss for evil???? I have so many evil plans for when I lose all of my weight?
Nadine
Welcome! I know how frustrating crappy support groups are. I do know that I was shocked at how many "family" members we had at our groups. There were new ones everytime I went. Didn't go that often tho. I work nights.
Are people really stupid about gay people? I mean I have grown up knowing (sorta, my mom worked for some as a private nurse. Never met them but I heard stories about them) gay people and it really does boggle my mind about how us str8ies think.
I know sometimes I give hugs or blush or whatever and use *** before and after the words. You might do what someone suggested and check how you adult content is.
Are people really stupid about gay people? I mean I have grown up knowing (sorta, my mom worked for some as a private nurse. Never met them but I heard stories about them) gay people and it really does boggle my mind about how us str8ies think.
I know sometimes I give hugs or blush or whatever and use *** before and after the words. You might do what someone suggested and check how you adult content is.
I shall now be know as Hagatha: Queen of the queens. 
Baby 
7-09
Xavier Elliott born 10-5-10
"Are people really stupid about gay people?"
Well, some are. And it's not the hateful ones; I have no time for people who think ill of me. But things do happen sometimes that make me go "whut?"
Like my Mom, who used to call me after every daytime talk show that featured a gay person and ask if I knew them. No kidding. Then one day, I actually DID know who was on the show - and after that she never asked again. I got the feeling that she was pleased I knew another lesbian.
The spouse and I took a cruise once, many years ago. It was one of those quicky Miami to Nassau runs. After being asked if we were sisters (she's German-Irish midwestern, and I am Greek, Puerto Rican NYer) and asked if we were "alone" we finally just said, no, we're with each other, etc. Several people at our dinner table felt compelled to list the gay person they knew. ("My sister's hairdresser is gay!" etc.) Again, it was one of those moments where I felt like saying, "Sure, I know him! We all know each other!"
At an earlier experience with a support group, I was asked if I was "the man." (Rolls eyes.) "Well, no, see I am a woman and my partner is a woman...no men. Kind of the whole point of the lesbian thing is...no man."
And yes, all jokes aside, I am frequently asked to answer questions on behalf of the entire gay community. Not only "what do gays think about...?" questions but sometimes things that are kinda personal.
I try to have a good attitude about it; life's too short to go around waiting to be offended. (I save my offensiveness for bigger things.) And I know there is potential to be really helped in a support group, I want to be open minded. But right now, it feels bigger than it probably will be in the end.
Laura
Well, some are. And it's not the hateful ones; I have no time for people who think ill of me. But things do happen sometimes that make me go "whut?"
Like my Mom, who used to call me after every daytime talk show that featured a gay person and ask if I knew them. No kidding. Then one day, I actually DID know who was on the show - and after that she never asked again. I got the feeling that she was pleased I knew another lesbian.
The spouse and I took a cruise once, many years ago. It was one of those quicky Miami to Nassau runs. After being asked if we were sisters (she's German-Irish midwestern, and I am Greek, Puerto Rican NYer) and asked if we were "alone" we finally just said, no, we're with each other, etc. Several people at our dinner table felt compelled to list the gay person they knew. ("My sister's hairdresser is gay!" etc.) Again, it was one of those moments where I felt like saying, "Sure, I know him! We all know each other!"
At an earlier experience with a support group, I was asked if I was "the man." (Rolls eyes.) "Well, no, see I am a woman and my partner is a woman...no men. Kind of the whole point of the lesbian thing is...no man."
And yes, all jokes aside, I am frequently asked to answer questions on behalf of the entire gay community. Not only "what do gays think about...?" questions but sometimes things that are kinda personal.
I try to have a good attitude about it; life's too short to go around waiting to be offended. (I save my offensiveness for bigger things.) And I know there is potential to be really helped in a support group, I want to be open minded. But right now, it feels bigger than it probably will be in the end.
Laura
I swear I'm the only gay person in Alabama thats not ashamed of being gay, so I totally get that aspect of it. But, on the very serious side, this is a huge life change and the food that's been a shoulder to lean on is going to be very unavailable. And although it's not always true, straight people who understand are better than no people that understand.
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