Fear

Since I've finally gotten my date I've been faced with a huge fear. I'm afraid that the last time that I'm going to see my dad and my husband is before I'm whisked off to the OR for my surgery. I'm afraid that I won't wake up from the anesthetic. I've been very troubled by this since Tuesday night. Has anyone else felt like this prior to surgery? Is this normal? Help... please!

 Fear is a huge factor prior to any surgery, so you are far from alone in this.  One of the things I felt is fear that despite the surgery and all the efforts I would be putting into it, I wouldn't be successful in losing the weight.  I now understand that this is completely myself trying to sabotage myself.  I'm really good at this so I've been working, not always successfully, to reprogram my brain.  I'm learning that if I screw up, I can always fix it.  It doesn't mean I've failed.  

Your fears may also be related to the emotional issues which have contributed to your weight gain.  By losing your "protection", whatever emotional stuff you have will likely start to surface.  By having fears about not surviving the surgery, it might be a knee jerk emotional thing to prevent you from moving forward to having the surgery and therefore not having to feel whatever may be hiding.  Not that you really want this to happen!  But fear is such a strong emotion and can cripple you, as you seem to be aware of.  This is all speculation, so forgive me if I've overstepped myself, but if you find it helpful, then it's all good.  And what I've written above is from my perspective and personal experience, so I may simply be projecting it onto you.  

I was wondering why you have to wait so long before you can have your surgery?  It's not helping your anticipation factor at all.

I hope this has helped.
Barb

I live in Canada. Our wait lists are terrible here. I had my referral faxed in to the surgeon last July and my original consult date wasn't until January 25, 2011!!! I found out that I had been approved for surgery by the surgeon on April 7th (my dad's birthday!) and from that point on, I called his office every day to see if there was a cancellation for the consult. At 10am on May 13th, I called his office and was told that there was indeed a cancellation for June 2nd at 2pm. I took it!!!! I'm going to be calling in now for cancellations for the surgery starting in September. I have a gut feeling that I'll be having surgery in November. It's just a weird feeling I have. *shrugs* I could easily spend $25-30,000 and have my surgery within 4-6 weeks by going to Montreal, but if I did that, provincial health care wouldn't cover it. *sigh* So, I'll just sit here and wait and re-read my WLS for Dummies book. lol

*hugs and Aloha*

Hello out there in OH land - Congratulations on your surgery date!

I did have some "panic" about the surgery on occasion and this is what helped:

-  I allowed myself to be irrational and panicky and "catastrophic" in my thinking and to have myself a little panic party  - BUT ONLY FOR  5  minutes a day MAX  -  Yes, I would time them and sometimes make sure I got in every second!
-  Then I would say " There is a god, and I am not it."  I take more risks with my health by being Morbidly obese then I do with one surgery.  Courage is not the absence of fear, simply what we do in the face of it.

-  Somehow by not trying to "make myself not worry" but rather "time in" and "speak to it" it seemed to help.    Hope something helps you.

 Yes, very much so... you will have that feeling until the very last second. I recall being whisk away to the or and seeing my family waving goodbye. I said to myself with tears I might not ever  see them again, but here I am typing this message.. take a chance.  You  have a better chance of dying in a car accident :) take care.

Hi,

I think it is a very common fear. Everyone or most everyone is afraid of the anesthesia. Fortunately for all of us, some very smart anesthesiologist developed outstanding monitors for assessing patients during anesthesia. The old days of listening to heart beats and checking patients color are over! During your surgery you will be fully monitored with EKG, blood pressure and Oxygen levels, not to mention the concentration of anesthetic going in and out of your lungs.

Anesthesia today is very, very very very safe. I have been an anesthesia provider for several years and have not had anyone "not wake up" unless, of course, I wanted to keep them asleep for whatever reason....ie....heart surgery.

Good luck with your surgery!

Michelle =)

I think it is wise to prepare.  I was given a lot of living will information by my insurance provider.  It is not in their interest to keep me alive if something goes wrong so I laughed everytime the BC/BS nurse brought it up.  I love it when concern is masking cost control.

I had the same worries and thoughts.  They do not go away until after you step onto the otherside.  I liked the timed pity session above, what a great idea!  You can worry all you want but it will not change the outcome in this situation.  For me, I have some control issues so it was sort of like boarding a flight.  I had to trust that the people operating knew what they were doing and let go of the outcome.  Near the end, I thought I might do the surgery myself with a plastic fork and a straw.  The insurance was an issue for me too and I didn't get the greenlight until the night before the surgery.  I am very happy that I did it and I am hopeful that you will be too.

Good luck making it through the next waiting period!