How???

This Saturday I walked into Whole Foods to get some throat spray for my upcoming concert (which went famously) but almost every person I passed looked at me like I was killing kittens in front of them!!

I know that it's my dykey appearance because when I looked all girlie (I was trying to please my mom for too many years) I never had to deal with this. But I've been my true visible Lesbo-self for a few years now and I get so many hateful stares and comments- and it gets to me sometimes.

So my question is, how do those of you who are visibly gay deal with all this negativity? With the stares, the laughter, the rude comments etc.. I normally just go about my business, but sometimes it's so hard to be in public.

 

I'm sorry that I don't really have any advise, but to just be proud of who you are. These days there are so many narrow minded people out there. I'm kinda going through a similar situation. I have some friends that I bowl with on Sundays that are gay. The guy and the one girl, you really can't see that they are, but the one lady you can see she is. I love her to death and I'm so proud to be her friend....but there are times when I hear people say things about her. And it hurts me to know that someone is being so disrespectful to her. She is a kind, loving person, with such an awesome personality. I wonder myself how can someone talk so badly about someone  they don't even know? I want to ask them how they can be so cruel and disrespectful? It's totally uncalled for.

I'm sorry you are having to deal with this. It's a hard situation..

UGH! Makes me glad I am not gay and fat. I would have had to kill some stupid people.  Honestly, I got enough stares cause I was fat, add in one more thing and I would have gotten in trouble. Cause you know, I would have been a total butch. LOL Sorry this had to happen to you. Stupid people **** me off.

Girl let me tell you I know what you are talking about. I am a hair dresser and I do not hide nor do i broadcast but all know.  I have learned over the years many comments.  HOLD YOUR HEAD HIGH and know your not alone and our day will come. ignorance is not worth it just snicker and know that we are who we are and karma is grand....... : ) 

Thanks for the support- I really needed it. Most days I can deal with it, but all those stares at once was just too much for me.

So, I really appreciate your compassion 

Really?  At Whole Foods?  Here in LA, you can't throw a rock without hitting a lesbian at Whole Foods.  I think they host sapphic speed dating sessions in the produce aisle there.

Sorry, can't be of much help.  Living in LA, you don't really see that kind of bullcrap as much.

I was just thinking this very thing... and when I read your response I literally laughed aloud...

Sorry you have to deal with that crap... it's one of the reasons I left small town Utah for the big city.  Living in Seattle, San Francisco, and now New Jersey has made my life much easier.  :)

Ok, I realized my post sounded kinda bad. Hope y'all knew I didn't mean anything by the glad I'm not gay comment.

Darlin, trust me. I live in Louisiana and if you can't tell I'm gay by lookin at me, then you've been in the swamp too long. I get this stuff everyday - fat or thin, I've always gotten the looks. I still have my days when it gets to me, but for the most part *****ally cares? I just want to look at these people and go "well, at least you'll have something to talk about at the dinner table tonight because obviously you don't have anything else going on."

At the end of the day if some one has a problem with the way I look, it's just that - their problem. They need to take care of it on their time, not mine. I'll never do anything to bother anyone. It's not like I'm going to frolic through the cheese section going "look at me! I sleep with women!" I think I deserve the same respect.

One thing I've noticed though is that very rarely will any of these goobers ever come up to you and actually say something to your face. If they're so adamant about how they feel why hide it?

 I love the image of you frolicking in cheese aisle! That so made my day!!!