I hate dating!!!

i've decided to put myself out there. I've been in a very casual (let's face it, just sexual) relationship for the last few months. I feel I'm ready to progress to something more serious. What I can't wrap my head around is how do I tell people my body is still changing? When do I tell them about my surgery...I don't want anyone thinking I'm not eating that much in front of them becasuse I feel insecure or anything. I'm very confident in my own skin.

And the thought of all the head games that will ensue..Do they like me? Do I like them? I wonder what they meant when they said this or that?

Yet, having said all that. I am excited at the possibilities...don't get me wrong. i'm really hoping to meet someone in my Harley riding club. That would be most ideal, but I did also sign up for Match.com.

I have no words of advice but just wanted to wish you good luck. I have been off the dating market for over 5 years now, and all the questions you are asking about (other than the surgery part) is the reason I hated it.

You are pretty, smart and appear to be a wonderful human being!  Just be yourself and the rest will happen on its own!!

I'm with you, gorgeous.  I'm having a hard enough time meeting gay people platonically, romance seems like an absolute impossibility.

I just wanted to say that I love your hairstyle! Its so cute! If my hair was straight.. I would so grow it out some like yours..  however I have stubborn wavy hair that I cant do anything with .. grrr... so I keep it short..

Anyways... keep a positive attitude about the whole dating game.. I would suggest giving out info about your WLS whenever its asked.... kind of like... "dont ask.. dont tell" If someone notices your body changing or your eating habits.. then explain the WLS ...

Well one of the things that has changed for me since surgery is my ability to not give a **** about what people think of me haha. I guess I have no advice because I would just tell them. I love talking about my surgery ....and myself.

You'll find someone when you least expect it. I met my g/f on Myspace and wasn't even looking for anyone, it just happened! 

Getting back into the dating thing is SCARY! But you just have to take it one day at a time. I wasn't looking for anyone myself and it just happened. And she was someone I had known forever and always have liked.

Anyway, as far as the surgery part I would be honest. You should be proud of what you have accomplished and anyone you want to be with should be understanding of that. I also have never known how to care what other people thought. Im me and thats all I can be.... GOOD LUCK!

Ok... My boss said the funniest thing.. This is more for the "my body is still changing" as opposed to the eating thing..

I am totally amazed how much better I looked naked when I was fat as opposed to now. With sagging skin and tube socks for boobs (Thanks RAVEN!) and stretch marks.. Well giving birth to a 9 pound 2 ounce baby boy helped with that.. But my body is a MESS.. I am lifting insane weights and starting to see some real progress in my arms and thighs but my torso is a lost cause I'm afraid...

So my office (small office with 4 woman) were talking about this and dating and getting naked in front of people and she said...

"By the time they see what you look like naked.. It's to late you're already committed to the next step.." And you know what.. She is so right. I was cracking up. Your in th moment, hot/heavy HOWEVER and the clothes come off.. Well I've never heard of anyone turning back at that point..

Or my other solution.. Keep the lights off!!

I'm currently dating someone so she's been a part of the process in terms of knowing about it. I don't think she's too keen on the idea but it's something I'm doing regardless of that. I have however thought of how I would handle dating in the future, if my current relationship didn't work.

It's kind of an awkward subject huh? Part of me thinks I'd prefer dating someone else that also had WLS because I'd feel like we understood each other and wouldn't judge one another. Is that weird? I don't know. But if the person I'm with is being so weird about it, I can only imagine what it would be like to bring it up with someone new that doesn't already supposedly love me.

But, you're cute so I wouldn't think you'll have much trouble meeting people. And it's always your choice to disclose. There are many reasons your eating habbits could be the way they are. You just have to find a way of telling people, or not telling people, that you are comfortable with. And ultimately I suppose any one that wouldn't accept you/your choice isn't worth having around.

thank you everyone for all the advice and your kind words. It's very helpful.