heyyyyy everybody!
so i completely had no clue there was a GLBT section of OH. craaazy. hopefully i'll be posting here more as time goes on. :)
my surgery is scheduled for may 4th, just fyi. i'm crazy excited.
i had a few questions:
this might sound a bit weird, but have any of you had problems accepting the fact that you're gay BECAUSE of your weight? it's crazy, and i know it's not healthy, but i'm repulsed by myself in my current state and can't see how anyone would ever possibly find me attractive (part of the reason i can't hold on to a relationship, but that's another story, heh). even though i've known that i was gay for, oh, 7 or 8 years now, i still don't think that i've accepted the fact that i am. like today, for instance, someone casually asked if the Jonas Brothers CD i was buying (don't hate, haha) was for my girlfriend, and i totally just said yes because i was scared of what the person would think :( i guess it's because i feel weird enough being a walrus and being gay just adds on to that... so maybe once i get the whole walrus thing taken care of, i'll be proud of who i am... haha
i'm also a reaaaally outgoing person... but ever since i got all fat and whatnot, i've slowly turned into somewhat of a recluse because i'm always thinking that everyone is judging me and stuff because of my weight... any of you guys go through this? i've slowly lost all but a few friends because i always make up excuses as to why i can't go out... it sucks...
(wow... i ramble a lot, haha...)
how old were you guys when you got this done? i just turned 21 like 2 weeks ago, and everyone's been telling me that their only regret is that they wish they had done it when they were younger, so i figure i'm doing pretty well, haha.
i know that i shouldn't pin all my hopes and stuff on losing all my weight, but it really seems like that is the root of all my problems... before i was fat, i was a relatively attractive person (well, at least i thought i was, haha)... we'll see, though...
anyways... thanks for any insight you awesome people are able to provide. :)
my surgery is scheduled for may 4th, just fyi. i'm crazy excited.
i had a few questions:
this might sound a bit weird, but have any of you had problems accepting the fact that you're gay BECAUSE of your weight? it's crazy, and i know it's not healthy, but i'm repulsed by myself in my current state and can't see how anyone would ever possibly find me attractive (part of the reason i can't hold on to a relationship, but that's another story, heh). even though i've known that i was gay for, oh, 7 or 8 years now, i still don't think that i've accepted the fact that i am. like today, for instance, someone casually asked if the Jonas Brothers CD i was buying (don't hate, haha) was for my girlfriend, and i totally just said yes because i was scared of what the person would think :( i guess it's because i feel weird enough being a walrus and being gay just adds on to that... so maybe once i get the whole walrus thing taken care of, i'll be proud of who i am... haha
i'm also a reaaaally outgoing person... but ever since i got all fat and whatnot, i've slowly turned into somewhat of a recluse because i'm always thinking that everyone is judging me and stuff because of my weight... any of you guys go through this? i've slowly lost all but a few friends because i always make up excuses as to why i can't go out... it sucks...
(wow... i ramble a lot, haha...)
how old were you guys when you got this done? i just turned 21 like 2 weeks ago, and everyone's been telling me that their only regret is that they wish they had done it when they were younger, so i figure i'm doing pretty well, haha.
i know that i shouldn't pin all my hopes and stuff on losing all my weight, but it really seems like that is the root of all my problems... before i was fat, i was a relatively attractive person (well, at least i thought i was, haha)... we'll see, though...
anyways... thanks for any insight you awesome people are able to provide. :)
I know exactly what you mean about how your body image impacts your socializing, I myself have become a social hermit since gaining so much weight. By and large I blame my weight retention on having destroyed my metabolism during my misguided ana stage. There are many friends who knew me back then and I have not contacted n 10 years! I had been very social once.
I am sure many of us have simular stories on how our weight has effected our sense of identity, and compound that with a gay identity too!
Right now there are several topics on this board which address this, such as wlscand09's "Whats attractive in the Family" and Brid's "Don't judge a person by their appearence" threads.
No, I don't think 21 is too early to have the surgery if you qualify. Good luck!
I am sure many of us have simular stories on how our weight has effected our sense of identity, and compound that with a gay identity too!
Right now there are several topics on this board which address this, such as wlscand09's "Whats attractive in the Family" and Brid's "Don't judge a person by their appearence" threads.
No, I don't think 21 is too early to have the surgery if you qualify. Good luck!
I have always been able to separate feelings about being gay from my feelings about being fat. One didn't affect my views on the other in any way. Maybe, socially, one did affect the other in other ways, but not by my own doing. But I reconciled my being gay with a lot of things very early on (in my teens.)
Even at my highest weight (September 2006), I still lead quite the active social life. At my heaviest, I was still hanging out with friends, dancing in the clubs, taking vacations and was two and a half years into a long term relationship. I think the key to my active past is that I never thought negatively of myself. Yes, I didn't love mirrors, but not because I was repulsed at the person looking back at me. But because the mirror was revealing major problems that I had in my physical health and eating behaviors. Yes, I was truly happy. But I knew that there were other problems that I had to face and not just cover them with cheeze whiz and ritz crackers.
I had surgery when I was 32. I'm now 34 and loving life. I would have liked to have had it, say, at your age, but it was almost a totally different procedure WAYYYYYYYYY back then. But I think I had it at just the right time. Speaking solely for myself, I think I was at the exact right spot physically and mentally to have this done, to handle the consequences and to make it successful.
Best of luck,
Cheers,
Chris
Even at my highest weight (September 2006), I still lead quite the active social life. At my heaviest, I was still hanging out with friends, dancing in the clubs, taking vacations and was two and a half years into a long term relationship. I think the key to my active past is that I never thought negatively of myself. Yes, I didn't love mirrors, but not because I was repulsed at the person looking back at me. But because the mirror was revealing major problems that I had in my physical health and eating behaviors. Yes, I was truly happy. But I knew that there were other problems that I had to face and not just cover them with cheeze whiz and ritz crackers.
I had surgery when I was 32. I'm now 34 and loving life. I would have liked to have had it, say, at your age, but it was almost a totally different procedure WAYYYYYYYYY back then. But I think I had it at just the right time. Speaking solely for myself, I think I was at the exact right spot physically and mentally to have this done, to handle the consequences and to make it successful.
Best of luck,
Cheers,
Chris
the odd thing for me is that other people thought i was a switch hitter because of my weight.
"poor sal can't get a man because she's so fat. she has to start dating women now if she's going to find anyone to love her."
pathetic, right?
i think there's probably a lot more of a connection of people gaining weight because of their internalized homophobia vs. not accepting themselves because of their weight.
just my thoughts...
"poor sal can't get a man because she's so fat. she has to start dating women now if she's going to find anyone to love her."
pathetic, right?
i think there's probably a lot more of a connection of people gaining weight because of their internalized homophobia vs. not accepting themselves because of their weight.
just my thoughts...
7-09 Are you kidding? The only reason I became gay is because I was fat. I just love hot man-woman copulation. Nothing compares to a hand full of woman parts and stuff like that.
It's obvious that I, as a former fat guy, would make that choice. Gay guys have always been known to be the least judgemental and most open to all people, no matter what their physical appearance. Gay men always take the extra time to find out what makes a person special on the inside. It was only natural that my being overweight would turn me to a life of unwilling homosexuality, to a life where there is not only complete acceptance from within my own community, but also from the outside community in general. If there's one thing I love about being gay, it's acceptance from the fundamentalist Christians. It makes life so much easier.
(Now removing tongue from cheek)
Obviously, I, and most of us have been told something similar. It's stupid, I know. But it's just one of the things you have to put up with when you're both fat and gay.
Cheers,
Chris
It's obvious that I, as a former fat guy, would make that choice. Gay guys have always been known to be the least judgemental and most open to all people, no matter what their physical appearance. Gay men always take the extra time to find out what makes a person special on the inside. It was only natural that my being overweight would turn me to a life of unwilling homosexuality, to a life where there is not only complete acceptance from within my own community, but also from the outside community in general. If there's one thing I love about being gay, it's acceptance from the fundamentalist Christians. It makes life so much easier.
(Now removing tongue from cheek)
Obviously, I, and most of us have been told something similar. It's stupid, I know. But it's just one of the things you have to put up with when you're both fat and gay.
Cheers,
Chris
I know. And I really hope you didn't take my sarcastic post as a dig at you. I really didn't mean it that way. It was directed as a response to all of those who actually think like that, and there are many. I, myself, can't believe that things like that still get said with people actually believing them. Of course, I still can't believe that GWB was a two-termer. Or that people ever actually thought that Crocs were a good idea.
I love ya, my queen,
Chris
I love ya, my queen,
Chris
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