How do I tell My mom Im Bi????

OlgaArnold
on 4/10/09 1:03 pm - Greenville, SC
So I am 22 and I like girls and guys how do I tell my mother who has heart problems. She doesnt like the idea of WLS so I think this would kill her...


Only 1 family member knows this which is my Aunt....
(deactivated member)
on 4/10/09 1:52 pm
Is she dead set against people being Bi? If so, doesn't she really need to know? I can't keep a secret about me very well, so most who know me know I'm bisexual. I've known since I was about 12 or so. If you are like me and feel you absolutely need to tell her, use her beliefs to guide how hard you tread. Maybe a little hint here and there would help?

I wish I had better advice.... I was extremely lucky in the fact that I have a very open minded mother and she took it all in stride. I think she's known since I was a teen, but waited for me to tell her.

OlgaArnold
on 4/10/09 2:16 pm - Greenville, SC
i have known since i was younger that. I always like looking at girls... There just amazing to me.

She would flip out even with a hint. I am the baby so she expects the best for me!!! Eeek~!
Kevin D.
on 4/10/09 4:38 pm - Livonia, MI
Here's the main questions:

1) Does she have heart problems?

-or-

2) Does she have heart problems that when aggrivated by stress will kill her? 


Less than one tenth of the population have a heart condition that will kill them.  But, if you think she cannot handle it then there is no need to tell her.  Especially if you think she will react negatively.  I spent years trying to get my mother to accept me and when she died I'm not 100% sure she ever did.  is it worth the grief?  Probably not.

We live in the most brightly illuminated of dark ages. - Paul Heins

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Sharyn S.
on 4/11/09 1:16 am - Bastrop, TX
RNY on 08/19/04 with
I've been out since I was 14.  I am not the one who told my mother, so I can't offer advice based on personal experience.  But, I always believe that honesty is the best policy. 

Having said that, unless you are currently involved in a committed relationship with another woman, why bring it up???  I would approach it as I approach most things with my daughter ~ answer her questions truthfully, but only with as much information as I think she can handle at the time.

Sharyn, RN

RIP, MOM ~ 5/31/1944 - 5/11/2010
RIP, DADDY ~ 9/2/1934 - 1/25/2012

Shea S.
on 4/11/09 8:22 am - London, KY
Hi Olga! Hmm.. this is a tuff question to answer. I personally, am Bisexual and I have never told my parents. I chose to keep this info to myself and a few close friends whom I can trust. I mean, if either of my parents ever ask me if I like women.. then I would be honest with them and say yes. I just dont feel I should broadcast it to them.

I had a cousin who came out at a young age and my family totally shunned him(not me of course). When I saw that happen, I decided then that this is something I would just keep to myself. So.. that being said, its really a personal choice. If you think your mother is the understanding type then tell her. If you still arent sure, I would wait.
Shea
Lisa_67
on 4/12/09 11:39 pm - Ravenna, OH
My mom and I were not close when I was growing up, so I never felt like I could tell her that I was Bi. Now that I'm grown, and we are somewhat closer, I still have chose not to tell her. She is very much set in her ways and her beliefs, and I feel that telling her that I am Bi will only push us apart again. But, she has been very supportive of my decision to have WLS.
If you really feel your mom needs to know about your sexuality, then sit down with her and tell her. But, if you know it would hurt her in any way..I wouldn't tell her. You need to really think about this. Would telling your mom be worth hurting her? Or your relationship you have with her?
Good luck in whatever you decide to do..*hugs*
      starting weight...307 Surgery weight..274 Onederland...198 (3/6/10)
 I lost 33 pounds before surgery. My new life has finally began

    
sal H.
on 4/13/09 1:29 am - houston, TX
I realize that you're not a teenager, however some of this information may be of assistance.

It's from our HATCH website. Scroll to the bottom under "Going to Come Out."

http://www.hatchyouth.org/ithink/index.html#out

We always tell gay youth that in as much as you want to live openly all the time, there is a difference between privacy and keeping secrets.

Parents need and deserve some time to adjust to the news. While your life isn't any different, their's is going to change dramatically once they know. It's important to know that they may never come around to accepting this about you. If that's not something you can live with, then think long and hard before you make the decision to come out. For some people, living a lie is too high a price to pay, and they adjust to the loss of their family and friends. For others, keeping the information private is a way to negotiate through their lives while maintaining those relationships. It isn't easy.

Good luck.

Sal
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