Whose your Daddy?

Okay, the title of the post does really apply to everyone but it got your attention, didn't it?

My question for the forum today is ... what kind of support have you relied on throughout your WLS journey... what worked for you and what didn't? Who perhaps did not support you and what, if anything, did you do about it? 

My answer is: I am truly blessed to have my partner Z as my primary support. She came with me to 95% of all my classes, support group meetings and doctor's visits. When I first wanted to explore WLS, she was very nervous for me but was willing to learn about it as I did. By the time I was ready to make the decision, we made it together because we both knew it was not just a journey for me... it was about us and it would affect us together, our lives, our relationship. She even went to far as to do the preop diet with me (larger portions of course since she's normal weight and works out like a hell-cat every day). She was willing to not have bad food in the house. If she wanted something she took it offsite. She has been my #1 support and I know I would have done this without her... but I would not have wanted to.

I love my daughter but she was not as supportive of me as I would have hoped. She didn't do anything to sabotage me but just didn't have the enthusiasm for it. She did come over and spend time with me after surgery and I think she's happy for me now. I think she was a bit jealous because she is overweight but not enough to have the surgery. I kept her close to me, shared my success but didn't talk about it as much as I did with Z and others.

Everyone around me, in my daily life, has been supportive. When I go to their homes for dinner, they ask me what I can eat. They celebrate with me in my success. I guess I don't have many friends but the ones I do have are the kind who would support my success. People who wouldn't I just don't have around. I guess I realize that more in retrospect.

So what's your story?

My support is mostly everyone here ...or shall I say those who I "talk" to on Facebook from HERE.

My partner is supportive. She does things that **** me off like eat 15 oreos right next to me. At the same time she is constantly telling me how great I look, how awesome I am to have put up with all this stuff we go through, and she never shuts up to her friends about how amazing I look.

My Mom is very supportive. She's a nurse. She always wants copies of my blood work to see that I'm doing alright and she checks in with me often.

The rest of my family just does the whole "you look great" thing. They never ask questions yet constantly want me to try this, try that. Thank Bob they live 4 hours away. My Aunt had RNY about 4 yrs ago and died a year after her bypass. She got cancer in the "old" part of her stomach that spread fast. So of course when I said I was going for the surgery they were all like "well you know what happened to your Aunt". Eh, I'll take my own chances, thank you! 

My biggest support was my Grandpa. He was diagnosed with Esophogeal Cancer about 15-20 days after I had my RNY. He couldn't eat solid foods so he was on puree and protein shakes, like me! I was getting healthier, he was getting sicker. He's gone now but I'm not going to forget the one thing he always said to me when I walked in the room ...."Hey there skinny".  

Hi Raven:

My partner and I decided to have the RNY together. We are 2 months apart in our surgery dates but I think it has been a great asset to our relationship. We both know what the other is going through with the emotional and social aspects of the journey. Plus we both eat the same amount, similar foods and one of us doesn't have to sit there and see the other chow down while we try to eay our 1/2 cup of food :)

So far it has been great and hopefully it will stay that way. I have also been nlessed by a great network of friends who support me. The only issue we have is my partners family didn't like the idea for him to have the surgery but it was OK for me?

Anyway, we are both on this journey together for a better us!

Raven, You got my attention! 

My surgeon has a support group that is just so, so. It hasn't been too well organized until the past few months. It is getting better now but has a small amount of value to me. It's mostly because as a Lapband patient, we are minority. I see Lapband becomes more prevalent in his practice and the amount of people coming to support group is increasing. It may pan out in the end.

My partner is supportive. Brett had RNY 3 years ago and know what I a going through. Although there are different issues with Lapband, most things are similar.

I find on-line support to be the most valuable. This forum is one of the best. I like the candid way that people talk, share and have concern for each other. It encourages me to share when I normally would not. I also participate in a Lapband support discussion list. I find the chat there very pertinent.

I think the best support I have got on-line is through friending 3 guys who underwent Lapband surgery. It's funny; they are Mike, Mick and Michael. I guess I am partial to Mikes'. LOL. Anyway, I so relate to their journey since they are gay men that have had Lapband.

I think the bottom line is that on-line support allows you to select the people you identify most with and have similar interests and goals. That is what good support is; people to share triumphs and failures with who are willing to listen and help you out while you do the same for them.  -- Tom

All of the support I have gotten is from online people. My family never understood or made the effort. Kids were too little and I had an ex so nothing there. WHen I developed my protein and vitamin deficiencies they were there but unable to really understand. I belonged to a support group for awhile but had to drop when I went to second shift.  I have since lost contact with almost all people other than seeing them online.

 

I am glad for those that had supportive people in their lives

Much of my support is online, but .I have the most supportive wife and she is a huge part of my success.  While she does have snacks in the house that are just for her, she has also adopted a healthier diet.  We eat really nutritous food, we go to the gym together,...we even go food shopping together.  She does most of the cooking, so I'm really lucky there (jealous?)

Most people in my life...family, friends, coworkers...I think they are all supportive of my WLS because of my heart disease.  Instead of looking at it as an easy way out, like alot of people do, they look at it as lifesaving for me.  It stopped my heart disease in its tracks.

Thanks for the thought provoking questions.

The majority of my support comes from the people in my life everyday - partner, colleagues, this forum.  My partner has been behind me 100%.  I am very thankful we have gone through this together.  We go to the gym together, walk the dog together and eat together most days.  We don't really "make dinner" every night because she has a 1.5 hour commute each way but we share quick stuff or leftovers.  She does do most of the cooking that there is time for (very lucky) and has been willing to try WLS friendly recipes.  Surprisingly, she even likes them (not a very adventurous eater *****ally loves sugar and butter!).  Her constant compliments sometimes irritate me sometimes (extremely positive nature) but in reality have really helped in readjusting my image of myself.

My colleagues have been totally supportive and constantly comment on the new clothes and weight loss.  Sometimes, I am overwhelmed by the gushing of some individuals (makes me feel bad about how bad it must have been) but I accept that it is mostly just because of their personalities.  This process has even helped me to connect with some individuals at work (more senior) at a more personal level that has improved my work life. 

And, there is this website and forum!  Most of my information validation (provided by surgeon but website provided proof that it was on target) came from the main board, failure, complications forums.  This board has provided most of my post-operative support (stay focused and be sure to be mindful!).  I look forward to reading what everyone has been doing.  I feel I can ask sensitive questions.  I would like to meet all of you.

What a wonderful topic Raven:

My #1 support is my partner Niki, my #2 support is my son Moe.. They are both always looking out for me.. Should you eat that? Slow down? I just don't want you to get sick Mom/Hun.. I do keep normal food in the house, and they do eat it, but I see that as part of my new life.

My #3 support has been this wonderful website and all of you!

#4 my Kaiser Support Group.

#5 my office. I work in a teeny tiny office of 4 women. They have so been there for me. Although quite funny.. My boss is NOW feeling threatened and makes comments like.. It's ok if Heather is Skinnier.. I am older. Or trying to convince me not to get any smaller... But the other girls in my office are the bomb, and my boss is STILL very supportive.

Thanks again Raven!

P.S. I am curious to know how Z handles working out when he gets sick? Does he still go? etc...