Changing Mindset

Out of curiosity - anyone else feel that they've had a change in their mindset and the way they interract with others since the surgery?

While I've never feared conflict, I usually went out of my way to avoid it.  Since starting my weight loss though, I've noticed I have fewer and fewer problems with confrontation to the point where I can actually be very confrontational in a lot of situations.   The "need to be liked" is sort of slipping away from me, and I've noticed that I don't really give a crap if someone "likes" me anymore, as long as they can respect my position.

It's actually pretty liberating.  I'm feeling freer than I have in years - I didn't even know that there was something there holding me back.

Anyone else feel some sort of fundamental change in themselves that just sort of happened, no work required?

I'm very ****y now!! And pre-surgery I had major depression and social anxiety - to the point where I wouldn't shop on my own. It was the whole fear of crowds, fear that someone looked at me wrong, and fear that I was in the way. UGH! 

Besides when I'm feeling a little blue about my appearance...I think I'm very out spoken, ****y, and do not care what other people think about me - the negative crap any way.

It's a great feeling 

Such an awsome feeling!  I totally know what you mean about the "just being the in way" thing.  God, I'm so glad i'm finally past that crap!

I've always been fairly assertive I guess.  But my tolerance for BS and for bullies completely ran out about a year or 2 ago.  I think it's more my age than anything - - I'll have to let you know if WLS adds to it!  Glad to hear it's working for you. Continued good luck.

Mike

I find the opposite actually.  I was very assertive before, now feeling much less sure of myself.  Hoping that passes and all balances out again soon.  I think its just a phase as my head balances with my body!

The situation has always determined my comfort and assertiveness.  For instance...I wouldn't be able to say in person half the stuff I write here because I SUCK at social situations.  I avoid face to face interaction.  However, if I'm at work or doing something where I have respected expertise, I'm very confident and up front...able to give advice and meet and confront people and issues without any problems.  As for the social side of things, I've been pushing myself to make changes and I think things are getting better.  I made myself start taking ice skating lessons last June (pre-op)...I loved skating as a kid and knew that skating while loosing weight would help me improve my posture and how I carry myself - not to mention make me get out there and meet people.  This week I'm going to see Riverdance - by myself - and in two weeks I'm going to see CATS - again by myself.  I'm forcing myself into situations where I will have to at least acknowledge the people around me...lol.  So, I think the surgery is not only helping me physically, but psychologically.

Brid     

I think for me, the biggest change has been not caring as much what people think of me. No, that's not entirely true. If I'm being really honest I want them to like me and think I'm attractive. But since I do believe that about myself now, any of the negative stuff doesn't seem to stick to me anymore. I used to believe the negative and not the positive. Now I believe the positive and not so much the negative. Truth be told, I'm not sure people's opinions have changed one bit. It is my perception that has changed. My belief about myself colors what I hear and how I receive it.

Age, of course, is another factor. As I get older, "youngsters" negative opinions don't make much of an impression on me. Since there are more and more youngsters, I'm hearing less and less opinions that effect me. LOL

With the weight loss, I have to admit I feel more free to just be. It's a zen thing. Just allowing life to be what it is. I think accomplishing this life-long goal has also helped me to realize that I can do anything and at the same time I have only control over what I do not what happends to me.

So many things have happened this past year while I've embarked on this journey. It's hard to say what has affect me more but the weight loss has definitely contributed in a very positive way.

It really depends on who I am dealing with.. If I feel threatened I unfortunatly crawl away.. Hopefully that will change in time!

oh....and for the record....I don't crawl.....UNLESS.....there is something I want on the floor
...ha ha ha

Jane

I'm getting there day by day.. Maybe you can give lessons?