I did it! Man Boobs & and being "out" about WLS
Hello Everyone! I am new here and I went to my first appt. today at my surgeons office. After a lot of thinking I decided to have the RNY over the lap band. The ball is rolling and soon I will have insurance approval and a date.
I am excited and nervous. One thing I keep coming back to is the saggy skin deal...I am a big guy ...389 to be exact....My goal weight at 225 is where some folks start this journey.
I am wondering things like are my man boobs gonna shrink or will they just sag and swing when I walk. Am I gonna need to bind them?? I like my big body (honestly) and I like feeling solid...well as solid as a super chub can be :)
Am I gonna be like a deflated baloon....or will I be able to build some aditional muscle to fill out the skin some? I am doing this to get heathier not necessarly thin.
I would love to hear more from some of the former super chubs and how their bodies have changed.
I am also really struggling with being " out" about my surgery. I come from the bear & fat positive community...where WLS is a dirty dirty word. Luckly most of my community is across the country. I am in Durham NC and they are all in the Bay Area ( Hi Raven!!!) I wont have to deal with their feedbac****il I go back to visit. Have other folks struggled with this??
I am excited and nervous. One thing I keep coming back to is the saggy skin deal...I am a big guy ...389 to be exact....My goal weight at 225 is where some folks start this journey.
I am wondering things like are my man boobs gonna shrink or will they just sag and swing when I walk. Am I gonna need to bind them?? I like my big body (honestly) and I like feeling solid...well as solid as a super chub can be :)
Am I gonna be like a deflated baloon....or will I be able to build some aditional muscle to fill out the skin some? I am doing this to get heathier not necessarly thin.
I would love to hear more from some of the former super chubs and how their bodies have changed.
I am also really struggling with being " out" about my surgery. I come from the bear & fat positive community...where WLS is a dirty dirty word. Luckly most of my community is across the country. I am in Durham NC and they are all in the Bay Area ( Hi Raven!!!) I wont have to deal with their feedbac****il I go back to visit. Have other folks struggled with this??
Hi Sweetie... I'm thrilled to hear this news!!! I am looking so forward to you being around for a long time and to sharing your journey!
Hey everyone... This guy Rocks!!!! I know this from experience!
Tia says Hi!
She misses you too.
Your body will do what it wants to do with relation to the skin. You have your age going in your favor. Past a certain point, the skin just doesn't snap back no matter what. Being younger as you are, you still have a good deal of elasticity. On the other hand, you've filled it up so there is going to be some sagging as it empties. I would make sure you nouri**** well with lots of water and exercise. And don't forget that your skin will continue to change even a year or more after you reach your goal weight. Also don't forget you can hide a multitude of sins with clothes. In my clothes, you'd never know I was ever obese... out of them is another story but those who see that love me and my sags.
As for being out with the surgery... yeah, Darlin' I get that. I have gotten some disapproval from the fat-positive circles here. What I have had to remember is they are not in my body. They do not know my pain, physical or emotional. They cannot make decisions for my life. What I also see, is that most of the folks in that circle are still very young. They are getting away with it for now. There will come a day for them, as it has for both of us, when the physical results of obesity begin to hit... the health complications, the pain, the disintigrating joints, the fatigue that never ends. I'm glad to see you choosing health now, my friend, rather than wait as long as I did.
I would share your journey with those you trust to support you. Others, I would consider waiting until you yourself are fully convinced of the benefits as your journey progresses. You know it cognitively enough to choose the surgery but there is a part of this which cannot be known in the soul until you've lost a significant amount and know it in the cells of your body. Until you have that level of conviction which can stand fully in the face of criticism from others, I would consider waiting. You need support now and for a long while... not nay sayers.
I applaude your decision, Papi... and I stand with you every step of the way. Stay with this forum... it's tremendous support... but you know that, since you turned me on to it. I am so grateful.
You know bubblinsugare is on here too? You are not alone here in the Bay Area (yeah, I know you live there but you are still Oakland peep to me).
Hey everyone... This guy Rocks!!!! I know this from experience!
Tia says Hi!
She misses you too. Your body will do what it wants to do with relation to the skin. You have your age going in your favor. Past a certain point, the skin just doesn't snap back no matter what. Being younger as you are, you still have a good deal of elasticity. On the other hand, you've filled it up so there is going to be some sagging as it empties. I would make sure you nouri**** well with lots of water and exercise. And don't forget that your skin will continue to change even a year or more after you reach your goal weight. Also don't forget you can hide a multitude of sins with clothes. In my clothes, you'd never know I was ever obese... out of them is another story but those who see that love me and my sags.
As for being out with the surgery... yeah, Darlin' I get that. I have gotten some disapproval from the fat-positive circles here. What I have had to remember is they are not in my body. They do not know my pain, physical or emotional. They cannot make decisions for my life. What I also see, is that most of the folks in that circle are still very young. They are getting away with it for now. There will come a day for them, as it has for both of us, when the physical results of obesity begin to hit... the health complications, the pain, the disintigrating joints, the fatigue that never ends. I'm glad to see you choosing health now, my friend, rather than wait as long as I did.
I would share your journey with those you trust to support you. Others, I would consider waiting until you yourself are fully convinced of the benefits as your journey progresses. You know it cognitively enough to choose the surgery but there is a part of this which cannot be known in the soul until you've lost a significant amount and know it in the cells of your body. Until you have that level of conviction which can stand fully in the face of criticism from others, I would consider waiting. You need support now and for a long while... not nay sayers.
I applaude your decision, Papi... and I stand with you every step of the way. Stay with this forum... it's tremendous support... but you know that, since you turned me on to it. I am so grateful.
You know bubblinsugare is on here too? You are not alone here in the Bay Area (yeah, I know you live there but you are still Oakland peep to me).
"When patterns are broken, new worlds emerge." -Tuli Kupferberg
I hope you are feeling better. ((hug))
I was about your size at my high. I was 387 and I am under 200 now. Like Raven said, clothes hide things. Only my hubby, family (as in mine not his), and one close friend in Ohio know what I look like out of them. And it's not even that, I just showed the extra skin to them. Oh, doctors don't count for that. I joke about looking like a shar pei, and that's what the loose skin kinda looks like. Wrinkly and saggy. I would still do it over again since I am healthier now than before. I haven't been able to work out since I have had one thing after another make me sick in the past year. So I am not sure about the working out. Maybe Rich will share since I know he is a gym rat now.
Ya know, I understand how you feel about being "out". I told people that I KNEW would support me in the journey and after I got approved everyone knew. I had a few tell me all I had to do was eat right and excersize but for the most part everyone was supportive. I was told by a friend, "Just don't forget all your fat friend once you get skinny." I think that has a lot to do with why the overweight community is against this. People tend to forget their fat friends (as my friend called them) after the fact. Good luck in all of this.
Ya know, I understand how you feel about being "out". I told people that I KNEW would support me in the journey and after I got approved everyone knew. I had a few tell me all I had to do was eat right and excersize but for the most part everyone was supportive. I was told by a friend, "Just don't forget all your fat friend once you get skinny." I think that has a lot to do with why the overweight community is against this. People tend to forget their fat friends (as my friend called them) after the fact. Good luck in all of this.
I shall now be know as Hagatha: Queen of the queens. 
Baby 
7-09
Xavier Elliott born 10-5-10
Heya Papi -
As someone who only dated chaser types taking the plunge was sort of scary. I actually had the "well, thanks for the fun, but this will be the last time we sleep together...ever" conversation with two different guys before I basically told them I needed them out of my life.
Part of the trade off with dating chasers was that I while I felt attractive, desired and a physical, sexual person that was sought after, I found I rarely rose above that. I became a fetish object, something that was ogled for sexual purposes and nothing else. Being a bit of a Norman Rockwell, one-man kind of guy, adjusting my own expectations to fit into that sort of lifestyle was ok for some short term fun but difficult to accept as a long term choice.
So post surgery I'm still sort of shopping around for a new gay social circle. I still have the best straight friends in the world, but am a little isolated from the gay community. I'm hoping that changes as my body and confidence continues to change.
As for the sagging - I'm 35, and yep, everything's heading south as I drop weight. I really noticed it the other day when I was looking at my nipples and wondering if they looked lower on my body than they used to (they do).
BUT - that said, I've noticed some areas where I noticed sagging even a month ago don't look as saggy today. I had BIG bat wings about a month ago. Today, I have little bat wings. They're still there, but I think they're shrinking. Fingers crossed they go away entirely.
Anyway, welcome to the boards - don't be a stranger.
As someone who only dated chaser types taking the plunge was sort of scary. I actually had the "well, thanks for the fun, but this will be the last time we sleep together...ever" conversation with two different guys before I basically told them I needed them out of my life.
Part of the trade off with dating chasers was that I while I felt attractive, desired and a physical, sexual person that was sought after, I found I rarely rose above that. I became a fetish object, something that was ogled for sexual purposes and nothing else. Being a bit of a Norman Rockwell, one-man kind of guy, adjusting my own expectations to fit into that sort of lifestyle was ok for some short term fun but difficult to accept as a long term choice.
So post surgery I'm still sort of shopping around for a new gay social circle. I still have the best straight friends in the world, but am a little isolated from the gay community. I'm hoping that changes as my body and confidence continues to change.
As for the sagging - I'm 35, and yep, everything's heading south as I drop weight. I really noticed it the other day when I was looking at my nipples and wondering if they looked lower on my body than they used to (they do).
BUT - that said, I've noticed some areas where I noticed sagging even a month ago don't look as saggy today. I had BIG bat wings about a month ago. Today, I have little bat wings. They're still there, but I think they're shrinking. Fingers crossed they go away entirely.
Anyway, welcome to the boards - don't be a stranger.
(deactivated member)
on 3/6/09 7:11 am - Houston, TX
on 3/6/09 7:11 am - Houston, TX
sweet talk generally brings me to my knees... (wink)
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