Partner had surgery today

Hey everyone.  So, I haven't posted on this board before... but I'm a great lurker.  LOL  My partner, Jen, is in the hospital tonight after RNY.  She did and is doing great.  Has anyone had a partner go through this, too?  I had RNY on New Year's Eve.  I'd much rather have 10 surgeries than be the person watching your loved one go through it!!  I'm relieved that the surgery went well, but now I'm in the "3 day hospital stay" worry phase.  I had to go home and leave her there alone because we have 3 babies at home.  I guess I just needed to know someone else understands or something... writing made me feel better. 

April

Hang tight, April!  Just remember what you learned during your experience - know when to help, and be strong enough to back off when she need's a little space.  It's all going to be fine!

I envy you, in a way.  Getting to go through this with a loved one will be an experience that may draw you closer together. 

Sending good juju your way!

Good morning April... glad you posted here. It's a good group for all kinds of support.

She's really fortunate to have you... you who knows some of what she's going through. On the other hand, this is her experience and it is unique. The surgery and the goals may be the same but it is her experience. Allow her experience to be different from yours. There is a joy and a satisfaction in achieving this, in surviving it, in accomplishing all the baby steps. If there is any advise I can share it would be to strive to find the balance between "I know" and "your experience is different". I hope this makes sense. It's a fine line between feeling like someone understands and the other person minimizing your experience because they've been there.

And for you... congratulations on standing by her, being her support, her rock, and the one to take care of the daily stuff so her job can be healing! I'm sure it's hard to watch her go through this, at the same time knowing it will be okay and yet dealing with the what if's. Now is the time as well to make sure you take good care of yourself, stay true to your plan, stay as much as possible on your routine. Set the good example for a postop.

Lighting candles for you both!!!! 

Don't have a similar WLS experience, but it is tough when your partner is sick or postop. Glad you posted. Keep coming back and letting us know how it's going.

Wow, thank you all!  She's recovering well today.  She's been walking the hospital halls and will get to try a sip of water anytime now.  Great advice on letting it be HER experience and supporting her in that.  I'm extremely excited to go through this journey with her.  We're looking forward to enjoying this summer with our kids at a weight that will allow us to do more.  (We have 1 year old boy/girl twins and a 2 year boy. )

April