So yesterday I was feeling miserable with my cold, and slept all day.  As a result, it is 3:30 in the morning and I am wide awake!  I was sitting here thinking, just remembering things about my life, kind of reflecting on my journey.  The last few months have been so full of self discovery that I havent taken the time to really pay attention to all of it.  So I realized that I have learned quite a few valuable lessons, and discovered some cool and somewhat surprising things about myself.  Some of them may seem funny, but they are just observations I have noticed LOL


-- I cant stand the taste of ketchup, unless it is on eggs, and I really dont like eggs anymore
-- I can hike 11 miles and not feel like I am going to die
--It's nice to take the stairs sometimes just because I can
--I have some truly great friends.  Recently some new friends have come into my life that I feel so connected to, and I know they will be in my life for a long time
--I love to cook!  I even cook things that I can't (or won't) eat... jsut because I get joy out of cooking.  The other night I made this beef stew that my dad used to make, and had so much fun doing it.  Of course I didnt eat it cause beef hates me, but I gave it to my neighbors who just had twins, and felt so good about it!

--Ipods are not made to go swimming :P
-- I dont really like meat at all, would prefer soy-based alternatives
--I really like scallops and shrimp though
--Sometimes it is nice to just sit in silence and think
--I am kind of a romantic at heart.  tonight I watched this movie called "Love Actually", and ended up crying through the last 15 minutes.  They were good tears though, because this silly little movie gave me hope that life can be good and maybe love does exist after all...

-- I dont hate my body, loose skin, love handles, arm skin, it's all a part of me and I am learning to love it
--It's ok to be self-centered sometimes
-- Just because I may not touch base with some friends very often, they still know I love them and would do anything for them
-- I love Mexican soap operas
-- I dont have to please everyone, as long as at the end of the day I am happy with me, as a person
-- it's okay to be single, and totally possible to be content without being in a relationship
--Just because most of my immediate family is no longer with me, does not mean that I dont have a family...

There are tons more things that I wrote down, but I wanted to keep this entry short LOL   Life is a learnin process I think, and it's great to take time to see how far you have come, and to get to know yourself.   So has anyone else learned anything about themselves recently that kinda surprised you?

I'm going to post this on my blog, but thought I would share it here too...

I hope you feel better soon. And yes, I know I owe you an email... things have been a little crazy but I have good intentions.

Here are a few things that have changed for me and that I've learned..

~ I don't cringe in front of mirrors anymore. I actually requested a different seat in a restaurant because I realized after we sat down I was facing a mirror.
~ I will probably trade my food addiction for shopping for clothes addiction (as soon as the money starts coming in again).
~ I learned that loving myself enough to heal my body of obesity also heals grief. It's a holistic thing.
~ That being normal weight solves none of life's problems. It only gives me more time, more energy, more focus and more comfort to work on solving life's problems.
~ That maybe I like sex better than I thought I did. (Don't ask, or if you do be prepared for serious TMI).
~ That just because they rerouted my guts doesn't mean that I don't still crave sweets. I heart candy!
~ That I am really comfortable in the bathtub now.
~ That I can reach places that I couldn't reach before (and I don't mean tall cupboards either).
~ I don't feel like the fattest person in the room.
~ My thoughts are no longer occupied worrying about what people are thinking of me.
~ That it's okay to be selfish (if it's not at the expense of others or does harm).
~ I have bones.

There is much more that hits me on a daily basis but this life is becoming more my norm and I forget to be aware. Thank you Dustin for helping to remind me to pay attention.

No worries about the email sweetie :)  I know it has been a rough week for you, so I dont mind waiting :) 

Your list reminded me of a few things...

I like mirrors now...  I actually had to buy a full length mirror for my room because I got sick of going into the bathroom whenever I needed to check how I looked LOL

I've traded my food addiction for shopping also... and it isnt just clothes... I just like to buy stuff now

I can see my feet now, and dont have to sit down to tie my shoes anymore

I definitely like sex more than I did before!  And I am not afraid of TMI so I am gonna ask LOL but you can email me about it

I know that this is my "new normal"  but still it just amazes me how different life is now... it's a good thing though

Well I'm not sure if it's TMI or not but about the sex... it's just all 'right there'... accessible...  so to speak. Probably the same for boys. I am having hyperextension problems with my knees... not as much fat between back of leg and thigh. Not sure what to do about that but it makes some positions uncomfortable. But losing weight really opens up (so to speak hehehe) a lot of other position options that weren't available before.

The only down side is bones sticking out and getting banged. I've heard that gets better as nerve endings around them toughen up.

Any thoughts?

Now that I can actually feel my pelvic bone, I understand the banging up thing.  People have also told me it gets better, so I am hoping it does, cause it can be a little sore sometimes after too much activity.   I totally agree though, not having all that extra fat on my thighs and a much smaller belly definitely opens up different positions and just makes things a lot better overall

things I have learned...

NEVER TRUST A FART....!!!!!

as far as mexican soaps..have you seen the old one..

Cuana de lobos...it's on DVD now..cheap...bad acting...off the hook story

Nope, never seen that one.   I have a few of the older ones on DVD now though.  I just got Dos Mujeres,Un Camino off of ebay so will star****ching that soon.  My mom used to love that one lol, but i think it was just cause she though Erik Estrada was hot. 

Very nice. You amaze me with such thoughtful posts and revelations. Yes. Love Actually is a sweet movie. You need to watch it again with a special someone. -- Tom