Does it all come down to trust?

After reading both Nean and Thespan's posts regarding their experiences, it made me evaluate how I'm processing and feeling throughout my own weight loss experience. What I've narrowed down is this...What drives my biggest fear at his point, which is gaining the weight back, is that I can't trust myself. I have no trust in myself to control what I need to do because my track record of trusting myself and body have lead me terribly astray in the past. I'm not sure I'll ever be able to just sit back and trust that all will be well again.

Needless to say, I'll be discussing this issue with the therapist this week. But it was quite a huge "Aha" moment for me. Now its figuring out how to manage that.

Anyone else have this same issue?

Yup, and I am thinking about getting a therapist for this too.

I'm dealing with this also. I sometimes lie awake at night worried that the weight is going to come back. When I mentioned this to Dr. Aranow about a month ago he said it's not gonna happen. I said huh? He said that I have the mindset that I won't allow it to happen, that I go to the gym everyday and am training to run in a 5K race. And also because I am so afraid it will happen that I won't ALLOW it to happen.
So I guess fear is a good thing.

You took the words right out of my mouth! This is so true. I once talked with a therapist about my fear of going insane. He told me it wasn't possible for the same reason. I'm too self absorbed, although I think the word he  used was self aware. LOL Anyway, this makes perfect sense. As long as we stay just a little afraid of gaining it back, we will stay viligent. Just like I'm always a little afraid when I get on my motorcycle. The day I'm completely relaxed, I'm parking it because then I'm a danger to myself.

This is *slightly* off topic, and I made a post about it before, but one big thing I'm looking forward to is crossing the 350 lbs mark so that I can look at my weight at home.  Right now I'm just below 400, so I need to wait until I head somewhere with a heavyweight scale.

I was in high school when I passed the 350 mark, so being able to monitor my weight and KNOW when I'm on an upswing will be a huge weight off my mind.

Really looking forward to that.

Oh, Thespen, I'm so rooting for you. I know you'll do it. You'll be there before you know it.

I completely agree with what Rich said. And no you'll never be able to just relax into it. It's a lifelong practice of staying awake and aware. But I do believe eventually the true FEAR passes.... as we learn that we can trust ourselves and the process more fully.

Big HUGS to you Sweetling. You are amazing!