Quick update

Hi folks -

Been a bit busy, so I haven't logged on that much.  Just wanted to give a quick update on how I've been doing over the past week:

1> Just had my 3 months out follow up after my RNY.  I've lost a total of 69 pounds since the surgery (I had to double check those numbers, but they're right), putting me at a total weight loss of 130 pounds over the past year.

2> My weight loss puts me at 398, the first time I've been there since I was in my 20s, maybe even longer than that, I have no idea.

3> I was told that a growth on my gall bladder that they discovered before the surgery can no longer be ignored and I'll have to have it removed in the next two weeks.

4> I received the blessing of my nutritionist who looked over my food journal for the last two weeks and pretty much told me that the stuff I thought was cheating was, in fact, on my food list (triscuits, anyone?) and that I should eat more carbs.  She also cut my protein intake to only 90 grams per day, thank God.

5> A gay magazine showed interest in the 3 articles I posted on this forum and then went bankrupt and fired the two people who were talking with me.  Back to square 1.

6> I started seeing a therapist to deal with the rapid changes brought on by weight loss.  Instead, we've been tackling a strange problem I've been having where I just can't seem to get excited by all the changes I'm going through.  Whenever I hit a pretty cool milestone, I just nod and focus on the next chunk of change without getting joy out of the achievement.  Don't know why I can't seem to get excited about any of this.

7> I'm having huge problems finding clothes in my closet that don't look like I'll have to "grow into them".  Only have 1 or 2 pairs of pants that can stay up without a tight belt.

8> Been having wierd mood swings lately.  Having one night a week where I'm really depressed, another where i'm suddenly incredibly lonely, a third where i'm angry.  Very strange for me, since I'm normally one of the most stable, even tempered people you'll ever meet.

9> Staying steady on the gym, going 4 times a week and lifting twice with a trainer.  Happy to say i'm starting to have arms, again, and my trainer's so happy with the rapid results he keeps saying he wishes we had two hours to work together instead of one.

New pics to follow soon.

Hope everyone's been well!  Sorry i've been unresponsive...life intrudes.

hey my friend...looks like you are hip deep in the ground work that will make for a successful journey...it hard, but worth it...congrat on everything.including the thearpy...it sure helped me...

First, congratulations on your loss. That is fantastic and I know you'll keep up the great work... and work it is.

Facing surgery is no fun... again and I'm sorry you have to go through this but it will be better in the long run.

I'm glad you're going to a therapist but at the same time, I would suggest, there is absolutely nothing wrong with your mood swings. For so many years, we hide our emotions behind fat, behind eating, behind hiding. Now that you are doing none of those coping mechanisms, your emotions are probably truly free to be expressed for the first time in a long time. And the combination of so much, so fast, can cause us to feel a little numb inbetween the bursts of emotions.

I also can understand why you are not jumping up and down with glee at every milestone. You do acknowledge it, as you've done here, and I'm sure that you are on some level, giving yourself the credit you deserve but you are also really focused on getting there... the goal. And although there is nothing wrong with this, don't lose sight of the fact that this is a journey (and will always be) filled with moments to stop for a bit and celebrate. It makes sense too, if you are anything like many of us, we tend to be really hard on ourselves and not give ourselves the credit we deserve when we truly should. How many of us perhaps give too much credit to the surgery itself for our weight loss rather than to ourselves where it belongs. The surgery is nothing but a tool. We are the ones mastering the use of this tool.

When we go through such massive change (pun intended), it takes a while for our psyche to catch up with these changes. How we relate to ourselves takes much longer to change than how we relate to others, the clothes we wear, how we move. We still see ourselves as obese, maybe not as in control as we'd like, we wait for the other shoe to drop. I have heard it takes years for this change to catch up with our mentality/psyche.

Didn't mean to ramble on so, just some thoughts you sparked... yeah, it's all your fault!

1 & 2 > Too cool! Good job.
3> That sucks, but at least with a much smaller abdomen and liver, you are in for a safer surgery.
4> Hum, and you trust her totally? LOL
5> Bummer!!
6> Don't know about you, but at this point, this all seems kinda surreal. Bit numb actually. I mean, I worked my ass off before, and nothing really happened. Now I'm working my ass off and it's really coming off. Bit too weird to buy into. Wait and see if it holds. LOL
7> Heard an article on NPR tonight that Ross and other outlet stores still have really good deals. You will feel more like you are a success if your pants aren't falling down!
8> Hormones. It's what they tell the women all the time!
9> Great job! Feels good don't it.

Can't wait for the pics!