So I've been thinking alot about why I eat things I know damn good and well are not good for me or on my approved list of what to eat or even eating things that are good for me but not the right time (snacking) or in too large amounts. I'm interested in knowing how others feel about this.

This applies to preop and postop folks.

So what situations (or states of being) make you want to stray away fromwhat you know is best for you? 
Bordom
Stress
Social situations (everyone else is eating and having a good time)
Hunger (actual versus head hunger)
Mouth cravings (taste/texture)
Fatigue
Other (list specifics)

Is there a certain food you always or usually go for in these situations?
Sweet
Salty
Savory
Large hunks of meat
Whatever is available
Other

Is there a particular food or type of food that you miss (grieve) that you absolutely cannot find a substitute for?

When you are successful at not giving in, what is it that you do/think that allows you to make good choices?

When you do not make a good choice (either food type or amount), what is your normal path after?
Beat myself up
Forgive and forget
Use it as an excuse to binge a little more before getting serious again
Start over the next available day that feels appropriate
Start again with the next meal
Ask for help
Other

Please share so others may learn. 

Okay, I'll 'bite'

What makes me want to stray? I use food and thinking about food as a head trip to keep myself from being present in the moment. Biggest triggers are -
 - guilt. [If I should be doing something, but I want to avoid it, I will eat rather than do the task, even if it is not that big a thing.]
- boredom. [especially if I am bored with what I am doing, but avoiding something I should be doing]
- stress. [or maybe that's #1 again, not being able/ willing to do something?..., or being afraid to do what I am telling myself I need to do?...] See a pattern!

I spent quite a bit of time when I could have been catching up my extremely overdue paperwork today, perseverating on how, when, where I could get my daily soup fix. What a waste of energy!!!!! Serves me right that when I ended up at the hospital, I had a choice of egg drop or hungarian goulosh. Picked egg drop - it was Tai flavored Whatever that one green herb is.

First choice binge foods are pastries or chocolate. Then probably breads with fats, then pasta. Salt is a dead last, although I've craved it more postop.

Grieved for foods/ unsubstitutable foods. None yet. I miss the idea of being able to go to a buffet, and pig out, but that's just the phase I'm in. Savory foods, I can have a few bites of anything and everything that is not starch based. Sweets, most of them I can fix a good fake. Obviously there are tons of flour based product which are verboten, but I don't choose to spend the energy right now thinking about them.

Success times - are from feeling centered and comfortable in myself. I have my favorite protein shake at work, so I can always make myself up a hot shake and sit with people who are eating. Sometimes I ge****er. Sometimes I get in my car and go see the next patient. But basically, if I am grounded and centered/ whatever you call that, then I'm fine, but if I get wobbly, I'll wobble myself face first into the banana bread.

Oh and 90+ grams of protein per day is ESSENTIAL for me not to be hungry!! World Health Organization feels people should get 45grams per day to prevent protein malnutrition (read starvation). Sometimes I do okay with 70gms, but I think I am hungrier the next day. My body has a right to kick up a fuss if I refuse to feed and water it, so I figure hunger at intakes less than that are justifiable calls for help.

After a bad choice - My spiritual tradition recommends a path of curious enquiry. Watching myself **** up and wondering at what happened. I try to just accept my humanness and move on. Recently I find myself wondering why I feel the need to beat up on myself so much. Getting back on program with the next meal is the easiest path for me.

Absolutely awesome. I know that if we are to be successful we have to do the head work as well as the body work. You are obviously doing the work!!! And this sparks insight for me as well. I love that term "curious enquiry". It implies stepping away from the emotion of it and looking at the situation clearly enough to learn from it. That is so cool. Thank you for taking the time to do this Nean.

OK, this post actually made me think  A LOT, and try to identify behaviors and helped me to recognize some of the things I have been going through lately.  I wanted to wait to respond until I had a good amount of time, cause I knew I would have a lot to say LOL  So, here goes:


So what situations (or states of being) make you want to stray away fromwhat you know is best for you? 

First for me is definitely stress.   I have had a fair amount of stress lately, and I notice the worst my day is, the more I want to deviate from the healthy choices.   Case in point, today was a not so great evening, and I was dealing with a bunch of work crap.   I got to the point where I was in such a bad mood, and I was dying for something sweet.  So I went to the convenience store and bought skittles.   I ate a handful and that was that.  I don't dump on them for some reason.  Was it the worst choice I could have made?  Definitely not, but it sure wasnt an exactly healthy choice either. 

Boredom also plays an issue at times.   Maybe boredom isnt the right word, more like eating just because...   Maybe it's head hunger, I'm not sure.  it doesnt happen often, but there are times that I will eat just to eat, even though I'm not hungry.  this has been a challenge for me, but I am trying to make a concious effort to avoid it and identify what's making me think I need to eat. 

Is there a certain food you always or usually go for in these situations?

It depends.  Sometimes it is salty, like soy crisps or chex mix (I cant have either anywhere near me now LOL)   And at other times it is sweet stuff that i go for.  It's not usually seriously sweet stuff like cake or something, more along the lines of the evil skittles or starburst.   I was a huge snacker before surgery, especially carby salty goodness, like chips and stuff.   This has been another struggle for me, cause I usually feel like hell after eating this stuff, but yet at times I still do it. 

When you are successful at not giving in, what is it that you do/think that allows you to make good choices?

I think that a lot of the not giving in has to do with the fact that the thing I am going for in that instant (like the chex mix)  will make me feel sick, and I don't feel like adding being miserable feeling to my current stress.  And sometimes it is just talking myself out of it, even though I know eating one handful of skittles isnt going to put me back over 400 lbs, I remind myself that I am never going to get back there, but if I dont keep up the good habits, then the surgery was pointless.   I've noticed that when I have others around me, I don't make bad choices all that often, because my friends know what i am supposed to be doing, and they will yell at me so hard if they see me eating somethign I shouldnt. 

When you do not make a good choice (either food type or amount), what is your normal path after?

I normally beat myself up over it.   That and obsess about the bad choice instead of moving on and sticking to the plan the next day.   I'm REALLY hard on myself at times and have a hard time not feeling super guilty about whatever bad choice I have made.  Of course I've always had a guilt complex, not just about food, and it's something I am continuously working on. 





This was kind of revealing to me, and it was really difficult to be open and honest, BUT  I strongly believe that in order to change habits, I have to stop being in denial and really examine the behavior and be completely honest with myself.  So thank you Raven for bringing this topic up, it was exactly what i needed tonight

Dustin

Introspection is never easy, especially when we have so much other pain going on... it's so much easier to allow ourselves to be distracted with outside stuff... and who would blame us. It takes incredible courage to go in there and dig around. I applaude you Dustin for your courage. You inspire me!

CAUSES:  Well as you can see from my confessional postings, I tent to stick with it no matter what my situation is.  if I wanna have something not so good for me like some whole grain crackers or something, it's totally for a mouth feel and I work it into my meal rather than a snack.  Now I actually strayed a while back and started adding snacks into my diet because everyone else was doing it and usually it would be something with protein in it like peanuts or some other nut.  Totally for mouth feel and saltiness.  However, if I MUST have something that's not so good for me then it's usually because of curiosity more than anything.  To see if my tastes really have changed and if I could handle it.  I think everyone will push the envelope and test the waters at some point in their journey.  See if they dump....see if they DON'T dump etc.

FAVS:  since surgery, I lost my sweet tooth completely!  I go for salty/savory stuff if I must have something.

SUBTITUTIONS:  Nope I don't think so......I think I have found a substitution for just about everything I used to eat......mainly pizza and I found a very low carb/fat high protein way to still enjoy the flavor of pizza without all the grease and crust.  It works wonderfully and I am totally satiated afterwards.

SUCCESS:  When I don't give in I always think of my surgeon and the fear he placed in me if I didn't do well.  I don't wanna face that embarassment LOL

AFTERCARE:  I usually forgive and forget with a little bit of starting again at the next meal.  You slip up...everyone will....thing is you need to recognize it, then get right back on that horse.  No need to beat yourself up over it because you've been beating yourself up for how many years prior to surgery for being the way you once were.  It's a lifelong battle to not get back to that place and beating yourself up mentally will not help you on your journey.

You're my hero! You may slip on the ice but with this stuff, you seem to have such a good balance... both are core work, of course. *warm smile*

I <3 you!!!!

YAY!!!!  I heart you too :) 

So what situations (or states of being) make you want to stray away fromwhat you know is best for you? 
Bordom - Definitely
Stress - uh huh
Social situations (everyone else is eating and having a good time) - not so much
Hunger (actual versus head hunger) - yuppers
Mouth cravings (taste/texture) - nope
Fatigue - nope
Other (list specifics)

Is there a certain food you always or usually go for in these situations?
Sweet - this would be #1. I'm always craving something sweet or sour. In that case I go for some strawberries or kiwi.

Salty - not so much
Savory - not so much
Large hunks of meat - sometimes
Whatever is available
Other

Is there a particular food or type of food that you miss (grieve) that you absolutely cannot find a substitute for? Chinese. I've had it twice now and both times weren't enjoyable! 

When you are successful at not giving in, what is it that you do/think that allows you to make good choices? I keep my fat jeans around for this reason. I also keep a fat pic of me on my fridge. I'm disgusted at who I was and NEVER want to go back there! 

When you do not make a good choice (either food type or amount), what is your normal path after?
Beat myself up - this would be my #1 reason for sure! 
Forgive and forget - sometimes
Use it as an excuse to binge a little more before getting serious again - nope
Start over the next available day that feels appropriate - no
Start again with the next meal - yup
Ask for help - no
Other - none

FAT JEANS are such a good idea. To have a tangible, physical reminder of how far we've come and a gentle reminder of how easy it would be to go back there if we are not aware and compliant. Great points you share. Thank you!!!