Difference in the Journey

Hi all -

I have a gay magazine interested in my writing about my weight loss!  Yay!  And even before I've finished writing all my samples...

Here's the twist, though:  They want me to write about my weight loss journey from the gay perspective.

Which leads me to think...what experiences does the gay weight loss person go through that is different from the straight weight loss person?  Anyone have any thoughts on this?

The only thing I can think of is that my goal pants are leather instead of denim and will only ever fit with a general helping of crisco applied directly to my thighs even AFTER I reach my goal.

Um...I don't think there is a difference. I have reached my goal weight. Through out the whole process I was following the same things everyone else was. I was no different than they were. My ultimate goal was to lose the weight, feel better about myself, and of course ...buy new clothes.

The only thing that is new to me is getting hit on by men.  I wasn't prepared for it. Well, I wasn't prepared for any type of hitting on ...but this is odd for me. I think being heavy I hid myself in mens clothes (easier to buy) and I had "the look" of a lesbian. Now I'm all fem and girlie and 90% of the time I'm out shopping or whatever by myself.

That is the only thing for me that is different. At the post-op support groups we talk about things we struggle with and that would be something I probably wouldn't bring up, even though it truely does bother me. No one else is going to understand so why talk about it? know what I mean?

Straight perspective here... We all have the same struggles no matter what our sexuality. The only thing I can think of would be getting hit on by the opposite sex. But ya know, that could be applied to us as well. We could get hit on by the same sex. It doesn't really matter. Just no place for you guys to talk about it like Brooke said. For the record, I would love some leather pants (you) and hooker heels (Sommer). OH NO!!! Since I want what you want and what Sommer already wears does this mean I'm gay? It IS contagious 

Houston's OutSmart Magazine

Where I work, we have a program for GLBT seniors, and many of them discuss the emphasis gay men put on youth and appearance, and how they feel alienated and left out from the community as they grow older.

We have a Big Men's Group here in Houston, and they have been made to feel ashamed by others in the community who claim to be "repulsed" when they hold BBQ fundraisers at the bars. Those who are anti-Big Men do not hide their disdain, and have posted on public message boards about it.

Kevin W wrote: No I only got on this soap box when the fat decided to scream about
unwarranted discrimination. .. After they stay focused on eating and
gorging as if its okay and its not... After they cause folks to leave
the bar in their celebration of being fat and focused on food and food
charities.... I'm only say what others say but not in such a public
forum as this... Its not aboiut the weight its the weight with the
not stop eating that causes folks to be repelled...

You must want your friends dead to encourage them to stay focused on
food... And its not an insult when its the truth dear heart.. Its
not about them being fat but continuing to engage in behaviour that
only increases their girth through food...

So do you really want your friend dead from eating??? Hum???

And sure, there are the Bears and the Chasers, and the Big Men's Club. But like you've posted, what if your body no longer represents the interest or fetish of the person you've come to love? Just a few weeks ago in Dan Savage's column some guy wrote about how he was no longer attracted to his partner because he had turned into a couch potato and wasn't interested in taking care of his body any more. I imagine the same can be true in reverse.

I don't know that it's as similar for lesbians. Physical attraction in humans seems to be more important to men, whether straight or gay. At least this is my experience.

I so disagree with the lesbos not being as discriminatory...Check out the women for women section of Craigslist some time. There are horrible messages posted there by "supposed" lesbians talking about how unattractive heavy women are...truly mean messages at times. Plus, being heavy and being bi almost completely excludes me from my lesbians that I love because they don't want anything to do with Bisexual women.

I guess I have been lucky with my lesbians.  I have never encountered or known anyy lesbian that has been about thin girls, but I have known lesbians that like "bigger" girls.  However, I do know tons of lesbians that do not want bis.  I think it is because of insecurities. 

Do I sound bitter?? I don't wish to. LOL But the whole Bi thing just kills me. I love and want to be with people, men or women, for who they are. Unfortunately, I'm not attracted to most Bi's, I'm attracted to more masculine lesbians. I don't wish to generalize, but a lot of the Bi's I've encountered tend to be on the Femme side and I'm not at all attracted to them. I want a super hot butch girl. Love them. I'm screwed and yet not...getting screwed....LOL

No, not bitter at all.  I can understand, just cannot give you any empathy since I have not been in your shoes.  Maybe it is easier for me, LOL...I love all women...I guess I am just a **** that way, LOL.  I can find something beautiful in everyone...I just happen to be with a stud at this point in my life and she rocks my world. I do not know if you have read my past post, but my "woman" wife is looking to become a man.  Talk about a tough situation for me, although I think I love KJ for "KJ", not for what is in between her legs.  I do not know.

It must be difficult...a woman will think you will leave her for a man and visa versa.  Do you encounter that?

Yes, that's exactly what I've encountered. i've been told that I'm seen as too risky because a man could come along and take me. Now I'm not someone that would ever cheat or anything so it's hard to be somewhat discarded for the mere fact that I'm attracted to both sexes. If I'm with someone, that's who I'm with. If the relationship ends, it's because something wasn't right in the relationship, not because of someone else. Just a bit frustrating..I hate the thought of someone considering me a high flight risk..

yes, i have read your emails about your partner. I do hope everything works out with you two.

That really sux, but I figured that is what it was.  I do not want to sound shallow, but I do not know if I could handle a bi girl, but I have never encountered one.  Most of the bi girls I have meant are attracted to butchy lesbians, and I am pretty girly.  I think I would have the same fear which is so strange for me to think about myself since I never have thought about a man in the past or a lesbian in the present cheating on me.  Maybe I base it on myself.  Growing up, I would have been classified as "bi".  I always cheated on my man with a chick.  Horrible, but true.  I would NEVER do that now, but I am a lot older and wiser, LOL.

I think there is someone out there for everyone...it may take years to find that person and you may never find them even though they are there, some where.  I hope you find yours and I hope they appreciate you for "you".