The What If's...

Did anybody else see Diet Tribe tonight? If you missed it, here's the basic jist. It's 5 overweight friends that want to get ready for a wedding in three months. They've all banded together with a trainer (and trust me all you guys definately wanna see this dude. Even I gotta admit he was good lookin) and they're all dieting and exercising together.

Anyway, so they start telling the personal stories of each of the women and one of them actually had a gastric bypass 3 years ago but managed to gain all the weight back. I think she was back up to 290-something. As soon as I heard that I almost instantly started panicking. "What if I do this and I end up failing again? What if I waste all the effort I'm putting into this? Whatif whatif whatif....."

Have any of you guys dealt with this? How did you get through it? I don't wanna whatif myself to death and end up losing my mind and my focus.   

Honestly I whatifed until I went out under anesthesia.  Not about gaining back, because I am pretty disciplined.  But about dying, and how my body is going to look, and saggy skin and could I have just dieted and done it on my own????  

BUT.   I have lost 32 pounds in 4 weeks.  Thats pretty dang amazing.  I can eat almost anything.  Just a little at a time.  I have been very lucky and very dilligent in my water.  So far no regrets.   I dont have fatigue issues, I can do anything I could do before and being off the presurgery meds is amazing!

So I guess what I am saying is yes there can be failures.  There can be ugly skin.  There can be bad reactions.  But it just as likely can be wonderful.  I say its worth the gamble. :)  Especially when you are gambling on YOU!

Nope, sorry, I'm in the same boat as you.  Wish I could contribute more to helping you through this, but I guess all we can do is take it one day at a time and do our best to be the people we want to be rather than the people we fall into being.

I admit I don't know you deeply or personally, but the impression I get from you from the posts I've read is that you're a person who is holding their **** together and taking the process seriously and dedicating themselves to making real, lasting changes.  If I'm right on that count, I'm willing to bet money that you'll do great long term.

Fingers crossed for both of us, Beasley!

I have been going through the whole "What if syndrome" from the beginning of my process. Sometimes to the point of putting myself into tears. I'm so afraid of failing because I have heard and read all the horror stories about gaining weight back, the sagging skin, and all the negative comments from people who think I took the easy way out.  I just know that my health is suffering, my back hurts, my knees hurts, and I can't sleep due to the Sleep Apnea. There are two things getting me through this. One is, I trust my doctor. He has really helped educate me and guide me in the right direction to staying healthy after surgery. His staff is wonderful, and I know they will be right beside me all the way. The second thing is the biggest What If of all...What If I don't go through with the surgery? Will my health improve? Or,  will my Sleep Apnea go away? No it won't, because if I could diet on my own and keep the weight off by myself..I wouldn't be where I am today. I also worry about passing away during surgery, but like I said..I trust my doctor 100%, and I know if I don't have the surgery...I may pass away anyway. I'm still scared to death, but I know that having this surgery is the best thing I could do for myself and my family...and I'm ready!!

I have recently started thinking about weight gain. My boss and her best friend had WLS four years prior to me having it. She looked amazing and actually inspired me to look into the surgery and then recruit my friend to have it with me too. Her friend have both gained back weight. My boss was down to a size 9 and is now back up to a 14 in just one year.  I pretty much do what I'm supposed to, but am worried. I don't wanna gain. I like how I feel and look, where I never did at 259 pounds. I see photos of the "old me" and cannot imagine ever being that size again. Scares me...

I haven't had my surgery yet, but I know how you feel. I know 2 woman who had the surgery and are now almost back to where they were before surgery. It scares me to death that it will happen to me as well. I think what I may do is put my pre-surgery pics around my house as a reminder to NEVER go back to my old weight. At first I was going to hide the pics, but I'm hoping that maybe they'll be helpful. 

Okay, hope this doesn't get pulled for refering to another site, but Bariatric Eating dot com has a wonderful support forum and a low carb, high supplement/protein way of eating. There is enough flexibility for individual variation and people seem very supporting. Lots of folks on that board with 5-7 year success in maintaining 100-85% wt. loss. But they advocate following the rules during the honeymoon year to learn what you have to do for life to keep it off.

I am over there posting as Nadean instead of Nean if you want to join us we'd be happy to have ya. It's a very active site.

" But they advocate following the rules during the honeymoon year to learn what you have to do for life to keep it off."

Hey Nean, can you send me the link to where these rules are listed would love to check them out.

I went and browsed the site and can't seem to find them.

Thanks!!!

I think the big key to this argument is that you will feel very different after surgery.  Food will take a back seat for the first time in your life.  I'm 8 months out and I still have yet to have hunger pains.  I never snack and it's amazingly easy.  I still have all the tightness I had when I was freshly post op.  The tool makes it easier for you to keep your mind on the goals you have for yourself AND to maintain if you LISTEN to your tool for the rest of your life.  It's a lifetime committment.  If you're not ready for that then the toll will fail.  The best thing I did prior to surgery was go on a mostly liquid diet for 9 months.  I did nothing but drink all day and had a light meal at night.....lost 60 pounds before surgery and that already got my brain reprogrammed to have a very different view on food in the fact that I just need to eat to stay alive.......not because my head thinks I'm hungry or bored.

Thanks all! I'm glad I'm not the only one that ends up with a committee meeting going on in my head over this, but what I'm really taking out of this is what if I DON'T have the surgery.

I know I can't keep living like this and things have got to change. I don't want to come back to this place ever again. Being the perfectionist that I am, I don't like even the idea of making a mistake, but I need to accept a bit of reality and admit that if I was perfect, I wouldn't be here. 

I found a forum last night on OH for people who had gained the weight back. They talked a lot about revisions of the surgery, another procedure who's name escapes me, and using the South Beach diet. So the good news for all of us "whatif-ers" is that even if we fall, there's still a chance for us to make a come back. Although it's a lot easier to maintain than lose so the bigger point I guess is do the best  you can in the first place. 

You guys and gals are truely inspirational and I'm so blessed to have found you!!!!