need some advice...

Sort of new to the board. I've been reading and not so much on the posting. I had my RNY march 18th  last year. It will be a year in march. I am really happy with it. Part of the positives have be getting attention from people which it didn't get much of in that way 100 lbs ago. I have never had returned feelings from a guy that have been acted upon. I had a really fun new years because of that. But now, I went to far maybe. I now realized that i don't think i can do the whole guy thing and I have this girl I really like and likes me back and we are going to go out soon. I sort of feel like I went out with the guy to see if i could, or to know if I always said i liked guys too b/c i'd never been w/ one at all and didn't know if I was attracted to them b/c it was what i was used to. I feel like i'm keeping myself attached to the guy b/c i am getting return on feelings which i am really not used to at all and feels so foreign. I don't want to settle. But I also don't want to hurt her b/c i did what i did w/ him. I am so confused and not really sure which was is up. I don't know if this was the best place to put all this out there but i thought I would give it a try. Thanks for any advice you all have.
Abby 

I actually kived with a woman for 1.5 years....I did love her, but I was still drawn to men. I decided during that time that I was more attracted to men. She was upset at the time, but I knew if we married it would have been worse. Many people have conflictual feelings. There can be attraction to the other sex..it is normal. You now know that you are more attracted to women.  So go with your gut. If a person does not understand then you would have to consider if you really want to be with that person.

I just have to say I wish I had a definitive sex that I was attracted to more than the other. Being Bi is no fun. I've had lesbians that want nothing to do with me because they fear I'll leave them for a man, which isn't what I'm about...and guys, well, they can just be selfish pains in the asses with an occasional enjoyable penis. It's a quandary for sure.

LMAO your definition of what a man is is my hubby to a T!!!

I have to go with Sean on this one.  Just for a moment, picture yourself having a future with either one of these people knowing in your heart how you feel about your sexuality.  Take that vision to the future where you've made a committment.......where do you see yourself more happy and more YOURSELF?  That's what you have to look at.  It may not be with either of these people you're seeing but at least you'll know in your heart of hearts where you need to be as far as choosing........if you wanna choose a sex to be with.

I understand about getting return feelings being foreign.  I had never had  a relationship in my life and I have spent so much engery and attention on my own feelings towards other people only for it to fall flat and never returned.  Now that I'm inching closer to goal, I'm getting attention and I'm not sure how to deal with it.  it's strange but it feels good to have someone attracted to me that I'm actually attracted to.  It's also scary.  I think this year will be the year for me though.  I just have this feeling.

Dear Abby (I could not resist, sorry),

I have been with men most of my life...or you could say I was "bi", until one day it hit me that I was a full blown lesbo.  Honestly, I do not think that one man's feelings should keep you drawn near to him.  There will be  a lot of men who are attracted to you.  I think we all get that excited feeling at the beginning especially when someone is giving us so much attention.  I get a ton of attention from guys, but I get the same from women once they find out I am gay.  It is all flattering and some of the men are relly attractive.  Go with whoever you feel the best about and make sure you explain you feelings to the one you choose against.  If you are honest and true, the person you did not choose may be hurt, but at least you did the right thing and at the end of the day...you have to live with yourself.