Dealing with unsupportive friends and family.

I have made up my mind to pursue WLS and have started the process. I have met with the surgeon and have begun the medical testing and nutritional groups required for insurance approval. I am excited about my decision but also very scared. I am not getting as much support from my family members as I am from close friends which is sad. I am being told I should just diet, I am not a candidate, I don't really need it etc. Food addiction runs rampant in my family so I am sure this is threatening to them. Others in my community tell me to just exercise or to go on a diet. They don't know how long I have tried. I would love to hear from others who are or have been in the same situation.

Sorry you aren't getting a lot of support. Give'm time to get used to the idea. It is a radical idea for most people are not really informed. Like anything the horror stories circulate faster and longer than the successes.

I haven't told my dad and I probably never will. He is selling a pyramid scheme supplement for a living and doesn't believe in surgery of any kind. He also is MO or SMO and has been for years and years. i'll just tell him I dieted (and he'll have a better diet to recommend LOL) I didn't tell my mom until after the surgery. She was my diet pusher during my growing up years. She's being interested and supportive. My wife took a long time to convince but has been more and more supportive. As this process goes on, she's gotten prouder and prouder of me for doing it.

My work folks have all been supportive, but they've known my MO self for 5 years and we are a Hospice team, so they have some class about not telling someone all sorts of bad about their choices.

I am sorry about the support.  I just made up my mind and then told various people through time.  Everyone thinks weightloss is easy and that we are lazy.  Weightloss surgery is just a tool to help, we still have to make the right choices. 
I suggest you just keep coming on here for support and remember that this is for you!!  Hopefully your friends will come around!

Congratulations on deciding on WLS! I was pretty much in the same boat you are last year when I started talking about mine. My family was like just diet, you hear of so many people dieing during this surgery, I just educated them on everything I learned from my own research. for the most part they came around. As they told people they found out some of there friends had had WLS. I am just over 2 months out and I feel so much better already. My bmi was about 41. My only trouble now is my partner, he has been very supportive but now he is upset when I go to the gym or I talk about loosing more weight, He feels I have lost enough, I have lost around 60 lbs and that I still have 50-60 to goal. I am not sure what is going on him all of a sudden. I have a friend and she said her husband was like this after her surgery. So it can be a problem after the surgery as well. The only person that has not been supportive would be my brother,He was in for Christmas, which was the first time I have seen him since my WLS, he did not say anything about the weight I have lost or anything. This was the first time in my life I have been smaller than him. I think he might have gained all the weight I have lost!

Good luck and this is a great board for support!

Jeff

I can't say I got support or did not get support from my family. I explained that I am doing it for my health. I did the same to the folks in my office. They were very supportive. This is something for your well being and no one else's. Look for support in forums like this and through your surgeon's office. These are people who understand your decision and will support you. Your family will most likely come along. I think the main thing that I hear from folks is that their families think the surgery is untested, risky or experimental. They just fear for your health. You might also use this experience as a way to educate them on WLS and the benefits.

Hey K...

it's always difficult when friends are not supportive...(family...they are a booger too) you didn't give us any numbers ...if you are a lite weight...like BMI of 40..they will not see the need....(I was like 60 BMI..so there was no question that I needed help)
but you said something and since you are in the first stages...you might wanna address...you said you have a food addiction...you know that the WLS will only assist in getting that under control..so see what kinda ground work you can do ahead of time to get rid of that...

please chat back and let us know how you are doing...

russ

I am the poster child for people being unsupportive.  My mom freaked out, my wife likes "big" girls so she freaked out.  We went through the normal thing of me leaving her once I lose lbs, etc.....which was crazy for her to think.  Everyone came around.  The most important thing is that you do what is best for you and if your family cares for you, they will come around and if not, they will eventually get over it.  As for us dieting......well, we would not need the surgery if that worked.....