Opinions Please

Ok, so I don't want to get the whole "my surgery is better than yours" thing going. I seriously doubt that would happen here, but I just need to say that. A friend of a good friend of mine was coming to Baton Rouge for a job interview and needed a place to cra****old her she could stay with me. She got here last night and we got to talking about my surgery.

She's a nurse, so it's fair to say that she has a lot more medical knowledge than I do. However, I couldn't help but be a little thrown off guard when she started bascially going off about how a Roux en Y surgery was such a horrible idea and I shouldn't even consider it. She said that there were a ton more complications with it and that you're only losing weight because you're being malnurished. Of course then she goes on to say that the lap band was better but that it wasn't a permanent solution so it needed to be removed after a few years. She concluded the whole thing with "all this stuff is just a physical bandaid to a problem that's just mental."

Needless to say I was extraordinarily insulted but I explained to her that I did a lot of research, talked a lot to my doctor, and this was the right solution for me. I agreed that yes, it did take a lot of mental reconditioning, but I didn't feel like it was a bandaid. More like a tool to support the transition. The girl's an insufferable knowitall so I'm honestly not going to get into an argument over something like this. She, by her own admission, will argue with some one even if she knows she's wrong so it's pointless. Besides, she's hardly some one I'd put in a morbidly obese category. It's not like she's got a first hand perspective here.

Anyway, I just wanted to get everyone's take on this.

 

Just because she is a nurse doesn't mean she has more knowledge of this than you do. Yes, there can be complictions that accompany the procedure, but they may never happen to you. Your friend may have just heard all the negative aspects of the surgery and has not heard or seen the positive. People fear what they do not know and she may just be afraid for you. Ultimately you are the one who must make the decision as to whether or not you want the surgery, and you are the one who has to live with the results, not anyone else.

Wow

i was sorry to read your friend was so against the surgery, but for a nurse she isn't exactly right in what she says, we don't loose weight just because we don't absorb all the calories etc, it's the restriction more than anything and then the body adapts to the malabsorbsion (probably spelled that wrong) anyway and we are left with the small stomach to use as a tool to not overeat.

You sound like you have done a heap of research on it all and made you decicion don't let anyone but yourself make the choices for you!

Big hugs your way

Tony
PS I would have mine again in a heartbeat!

If you notice, most of the negative comments come from people who don't have a clue how it is to live the way we have. These people either have never been overweight a day in their lives, or they are overweight and don't care. Your friend may have a medical back ground, but clearly she has no clue how you feel. You know in your heart that you did the best thing for you, and what others think or feel doesn't matter.

Remember, everyone has an opinion, just like we all have an _ _ _ hole!  Discuss the differnet surgery options with your surgeon.  He/She will come up with the best surgery type for you.  I chose the VSG, because I wanted a permanent outcome without needing additonal surgeries....and without the malabsorption issues.  And for me, this surgery has worked out great!  Yours will too. Bottom line WLS is only a tool, not the end all. Happy Holidays!

Good luck,

Kent

373 Highest weight
357 Surgery weight
180 Current weight

I've noticed the negative comments come from either overweight people (who are either jealous they can't/won't have the surgery) or from skinny/avergae sized people who have NO clue about being 300 pounds.

I would just ignore her! My Mom is also a nurse (20+ yrs experience) and was ALL for me having the bypass sooo

Tell her you are sell set and will continue to follow your own goals!

My take on this is that whether you have surgery and the type of surgery is a personal choice. All surgeries have risk. Yes, some have more. Gastric bypass does have more risks, but offers a quicker weight loss. The choice of a good hospital and surgeon mitigates the risk. If you judge weight loss surgeries by risk only, then lapband is the winner. It doesn't make it the right surgery for you. Again, you have to make that decision. With both surgeries, there are changes in lifestyles, diets and behaviors that need to occur. I think these things are what drives success in surgery and recovery.  I tend to just let these type of opinions go.  Just politely nod and change the subject.

Tom 

All surgeries have risks. My mom, she's a nurse too, and wanted me to get the band UNTIL I explained to her the reasons I wanted to have the RNY. I admit there are mental issues, there is the emotional eating and that kind of stuff. But it is something we NEED to help us get the weight off. It's a tool, not a solution to our problem. So, I might get flaimed for saying this, she is partially right. BUT she is soooooooo off at the same time.

See, this is what makes this the best board around . Thank you so much for sharing your opinions with me. I know all of you are right - it's up to me and my doctor, no one else. I really barely know this girl so I'm not sure where she gets off trying to tell me how to make a major decision in my life. Despite all the set backs I've had with my insurance company and whatnot, I still feel like I'm on the right path for me.

Thanks again to everyone that chimed in!!

Everyone has 2 cents to throw in.  I have heard it all and, after research for myself, I decided "for myself".  Everything has a complication...breathing this polluted air has its own set of complications.  You know "you"...know what I mean?