Good Idea, Bad Idea

Ok, so when I first started this whole journey I was in a relationship. Unfortunately, the emotional rollercoaster that I was on plus the one she was on for her own issues added up to us breaking up. We're still good friends and I miss her, but it's just not in the cards right now. After we split, I told myself "ya know what. This is the time for you to concentrate on you. Relationships are just way too distracting." And I've been really true to that. Until last weekend...

I ended up hanging out with this girl I met and we had a really good time. We started off for coffee and ended up shooting pool for awhile. She's really great and I told her about where I was with relationships and why. She was really supportive and understanding. We've kept talking and she's flat out told me that she really likes me in a not just friends kind of way. I've told her again that I can't get into anything serious and she's been really respectful. We've kind of left it as let's be friends for awhile and see what happens, but it's pretty obvious that she's wanting more. Any other time in my life I'd be down with it, but right now it's so tricky. I put a lot into relationships and I know I'm not capable of giving that right now because my attention is focused on my health.

So, voices of experience - is it a good idea or a horribly bad one to get something started at the beginning of this road?

Ya know, I think you can do both as long as being in the relationship doesn't cause your health to suffer. You were upfront with her and she knows where you are at in life. If she is willing to accept the fact she will be second (cause you  and your health comes first) I would say take it slow and see what happens. LOL All I can think about now is the joke what does a lesbian take on a second date? A U-haul. That is so not taking it slow. Good luck in whatever you decide to do.

Ya know, in AA they say don't make any big changes the first year. You might think about that as a guideline--it is certainly there for a reason. You might become an entirely different person! I don't know exactly where you are in  your weight loss journey and how long ago your relationship ended, so only you know if this fits, but at least think about it. Are you truly over the previous one? Have you know this woman long enough to find out if  you are really friends first? Do you have common goals and values? 

Those are the kinds of questions I ask my clients who are staring new relationships. If you want more of the questions I ask, PM me.

Connie