Negative Behavior

 So, I went to this tea party tonight and a couple of guys started talking to me. Why is it that you lose weight and then you become the center of attraction!. I mean I'm still the same person. 

People are looks oriented.  No matter how cute you were, you are cuter now by their standards.  Is it possible that you may be unconciously putting yourself out there more now?  Less fear of rejection?  All that aside, you have worked hard to make yourself healthy and you should enjoy the attention!  Try to be positive.  I know its hard to not wonder about their motives tho.  This is why they suggest we get therapy to deal with our new "selves"  :)

 perhaps

Don't know if this will hel*****t, but....an old friend of mine put it the best way I've ever heard. If you hear a song for the first time and it's got a great beat, you keep listening to it. You probably even turn it up. But if the singer comes on and the lyrics suck or they couldn't carry a tune in a bucket, you're probably going to turn it off. People are kind of the same way. The look attracts you, but the personality keeps you there. It's just kind of human nature.

Yea, it's a shame that people stay focused on the look and less on the personality, but in reality how could you know what some one is like just by looking at them? You could assume, but you could be wrong.

Take it as a compliment  They obviously thought you had a nice beat and wanted to find out how well you could sing LOL

J-

this is not a one answer settles the question...

the girls are right in both their responses...and I'll add one thing

the rules have changed..this is how the game is played now...

I'll add one more.   Even though our gay world can be mighty fickle, you might give those guys a little slack because part of it might have less to do with your actual weight loss and more to do with how you are feeling about yourself right now.  If you are feeling proud and confident, I truly believe that shows on the outside and makes a person that much more approachable.   From your picture, I'm guessing you didn't lack of good looks, even when you were heavier....and you probably got more attention than you realize.  :-)

I was never one that had a problem getting attention. Even at 310 lbs guys would tell me I was cute......The big difference is I NEVER BELIEVED THEM.

You are the same person on the inside.....but you have changed. You will continue to change as your weight loss continues...inside and outside......AS THIS PROCESS CONTINUES YOU WILL NOT BE THE SAME PERSON YOU WERE BEFORE THE WEIGHT LOSS.....

TAKE THE INTEREST FOR WHAT IT IS.......A CHANGE IN THE WAY OTHERS PERCIEVE YOU.....IT COULD BE JUST YOUR APPEARANCE.....BUT IN MOST CASES IT IS BOTH THE INTERNAL AND EXTERNAL CHANGES THAT ATTRACT PEOPLE........ENJOY IT !!!!

Thats just the way it is with the boys. Everyone wants the HOT young, thin guy, if you're too fat, or too old you get over looked. Since I started really gaining weight I have NEVER felt so invisible with in my own community.  As a community we can be SO terribly superficial. Now not that has ever stopped me from getting noticed. You always have the chubby chasers and thank goodness for them. But, still the same story applies, if you dont fall into their standard of beauty they're not interested. My last long term relationship ended because I started talking about loosing weight and having surgery. He told me I had to make a choice between getting healthy and loosing weight or dating him he told me that if I lost weight he would no longer be interested in me. That was a 5 year relationship.