poll: what would YOU do in my shoes?

i'm not asking anyone what *I* should do, alright? i'm asking... if you were to put yourself in *MY* shoes, if this were happening in *YOUR* life and you were in my exact cir****tances, what course of action would *YOU* take.

ok, first off let me recap a bit for those who aren't "in the know". i currently live in florence and have been employed at the newspaper here for the past 5 years as a graphic artist. prior to that i was a graphic artist at a different newspaper for 3 years, i went to school at the art institute of atlanta studying visual communications (graphic design) and have had many, many MANY freelance gigs over the years. so, i am a graphic artist. i do not know any other trade nor do i desire to know any other trade.

wednesday, november 12th will be my last day in this position as my job is being outsourced. i have the *option* of applying to get my job back at the location that they've outsourced it to but i am unable to do this because it's in tuscaloosa and my family (my support system) lives in decatur. (and since they gave us this *option* they've come back to inform us that there's been a hiring freeze so that isn't really an option anyway.)

normally, if it were just me i could pack up and go ANYWHERE. but it isn't just me. i have my daughter to consider and knowing how difficult these past few years have been for us even only being an hour away from my family, i'm nervous about pursuing anything any farther away than that.

i have looked all over the internet and i am unable to come up with anything even remotely similar to what i'm doing (that i'm trained for that is...) that's somewhat close to my family. however, i HAVE found many positions all over the US that would meet and/or exceed my expectations (financially AND creatively) and i'm fully trained for ALL of these positions.

so now what? do i just pack up and move off somewhere and leave my support system behind? and if so, how on earth would i go about doing that? because, i can't very well apply for a job say, in iowa if i currently live in alabama. i mean, how could i convince them to hire me? what would make them want to hire me knowing that i'm uprooting myself and my daughter to move nearly 12 hours away from everyone and everything that i know?

and if i chose to NOT look at these *better* jobs that are far away, what do i do instead? because like i stated earlier, i do not wish to change careers. this is what i studied, this is what i know, this is what i love. this is what i DO. i AM a graphic artist. i am not a dishwasher, i am not a waitress, i am not a stocker for target or wal-mart. i am a graphic artist. period.

if i'm very careful, i will be alright financially until the end of 2008. after that i will be waiting for my tax return to come in and will be able to survive on that for awhile if necessary. in the meantime i will be getting unemployment which will go towards my COBRA payments. now, some of you may say "you just get a job doing whatever you can because you HAVE to support your family!" well the thing is, IF i get *A* job, *ANY* job, then i will be spending all of that money on my COBRA instead of using it to live off of because generally speaking "any old job" does not offer insurance.

so what would *YOU* do???

I would uproot and go where I would be financially and creatively fulfilled.  You cannot meet your daughter's needs if your tanks are half full.  You will make new friends.  Your family will be there for you.

This is what "I" would do.  My support would be just the same over the phone or on visits.  Children are adaptable.  I would consider my job stability for the sake of my child, not family or a support network.  When I would move, I would find those few special people who would be my support network while knowing my family were only a phone call or visit away.  Maybe because I moved so muchas a military child, I know children are adaptable.  I would do whatis best to support myself and my child in these fu**ed up times.

btw, you cut your hair yet?  oh, and if your job brings you to Charlotte, NC, you already have one support person here :-)

I would go to where the opportunities are, your daughter will be fine. I grew up in a military family and we moved all the time, the only time we got upset was when my dad retired and we found out we were going to stay in the same place!

I know that when my folks were stressed out and upset, so were us kids...when they were happy, so were we. Your daughter will be happy if you are. Your family will only be a phone call away, and new places bring new opportunites and new friends. From what I've read from your posts the last couple months, you could use a change of scenery...

Sounds like you have plenty of great advice..

But I think Sharon said it perfectly. I couldn't agree more.

Oh yeah and that's coming from someone who knows. I haven't lived near my parents since before Moe was born. I did it on my own. I even re-invented myself at 27 when my ex and I split, and I didn't have any health care for Moe and I. I started over and have done it on my own...

I have uprooted myself to get married. I now live 12 hours from my support system. I am on the phone with them all the time. You gotta do what cha gotta do. And personally, moving seems like what cha gotta do.

This is not a curse.. This is an opportunity!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If you have the training and the experience to move on and take your career else where who's to say that it wont better the lives of you and your DAUGHTER.... You cant take this situation as an automatic negative. The same thing happened to me in my 20's if I had to do it all again I would have taken the move and been much happier now.

I would move too and I have several times. How about looking for a gay positive community like East Lansing, MI or Minneapolis or Houston, Tucson or Santa Fe?

There is an organization called COLAGE which is for children of lesbians and gays and maybe choose a city where they have an organization. Also, do  you read LC? Lesbian Connection which has contact dykes all over the US in case you have questions about moving to an area. If not, PM me and I'll tell you how to find one.

Also the Advocate magazine has realtors listed in the back  who are gay friendly. 

Then again  you could think about the friends  you have made here and make a choice that way.

Almost any college town is going to be more gay friendly and newcomer friendly than not.

There are really many possibilities! Good luck!

Connie 

I would uproot and move to wherever the best job opportunities are for you.  That is important for you and your daughter.