I feel like caca..is that how you spell it?

So I had my 2 week post op appt yesterday.  Everything is fine and I am now on pureed food.  I guess I really never knew how attached to food I was as youwill read later.  I went to Trader Joe's and got all kinds of Hummus and Oatmeal, etc.  I was so excited!!  I got home and could only eat a couple bites before I was totally full.  Before bed I got a bit hungry and made a bowl of Grits.  Again, coupe bites and I was full.  Now, mind you, I knew this would happen...about getting full fast.

So this morning I woke up with a migrane , took a Maxalt, got a horrible tummy ache , and fell back asleep.  My wife woke me up before she left for work and I started crying.  I mean, REALLY crying. I am not a crier.  I got SOOOOOO depressed that I could not finsh my plate/bowl of food yesterday and that I could only enjoy two bites.  I am from a family where we cleared out plates...it was always the "starving people in other country" thing.  I was not forced, but it is just what was drilled into my head and I have been that way my whole life.  I know it is stupid since I can just refridgerate my Grits and eat the rest today huh?  I tried explaining to my "skinny" wife and she could not get it.  I guess I am really just attached to my food and th etaste and wanting to enjoy that huge plate of all different flavors.  Maybe I am just feeling sorry for myself.  Has anyone gone through this??

BTW, I am fine now and over my pity party.  Or at least until the next time I eat!!

yeah, i understand. completely. be sure if you nuke those grits again that you add some milk or water or butter or something or else they'll be really hard and will hurt like hell (i speak from experience here...)

but i totally get where you're coming from. it DOES get easier. i promise. (but then again, i still have days where i make myself sick just shoveling the food in even though i know better. i just like the feeling of having a lot of food in my mouth at one time. oral fixation? idk... just something i'm used to i guess. ) but for the most part it DOES get better as time goes on.

Sommer,

I know what you are talking about.  It gets a lot easier as time goes on.  I still have to remind my self that my eyes are bigger than my pouch.

I have switched to salad plates for most meals and little bowls when having soup and stuff.  It helps, when u look at the plate or bowl and its almost gone.  Still after 4 months post op I am lucky if i can get in 3/4 cup of food at a meal.  Dont force it, I still have a hard time with eatting to fast and then bam. I am in the bathroom.  It will all work out and we are all here for you.

Btw how much weight did you lose in the last two weeks? If you need anything hit me up.

Hugs

Scott

Thanks Scott,

I have lost 15 lbs.  I was just feeling sorry for myself, lol.

OH HOLY HELL!!! I remember those weeks when all I did was cry to my Grandma. Fat stores our hormones so as we lose the weight we release mass amounts of hormones. Get ready for an emotional roller coaster. Seriously, I flew my Grandma out for 3 weeks to help since I was not about to ask the M-I-L for help and the hubby had to work. Those first few weeks all I did was cry. She got the brunt of it since the hubby didn't want me to have surgery.

I still have problems about looking at how much I eat and get frustrated. I still can't eat much unless it's salad or fruit. It does get better. Good luck!

I'm four weeks out today. I went through that very same thing. I cried for two days straight. Went through the WTF did I do to myself regret moment. I'm in a low state right now where I'm very introverted. I see an eating disorder therapist weekly who is a huge help in getting me through these things, but it still takes nothing for me to just start sobbing. According to bariatric team it is all normal and expected and should get better afer a couple more months.

I so empathize with you. We'll get through this...I haven't had anymore regret, but I imagine it will come up again for sure.

I am Italian-American, and have a large extended family.  My earliest (and happiest) childhood memories were of holidays and family celebrations -- aunts and uncles, cousins and siblings laughing, telling stories, and creating memories over delicious food prepared with love.  I was raised with an early appreciation for good food and developed a talent for creating it.  I learned that food was what you used to heal, to nurture, and to celebrate.  Food was also an important part of my cultural heritage.

Ultimately, it also became the reason why I'm here today, facing gastric bypass surgery.

I know that I, too, will experience what you are going through and I have been giving this a lot of thought -- especially with the Holidays fast approaching.  I think it will probably feel like I am mourning the loss of a close childhood friend.  As time passes, I'm sure I will learn new ways to relate to food and eating but, until then, it will be a very difficult transition.

 

Oh hun, if your family is anything like the hubby's holidays are gonna suck post-op. I was 3 months post-op and had Easter. Thought I was gonna die. Ended up after I HAD to eat casada (yummy little pastry filled with ricotta cheese and baked. They look like cupcakes.) That and I had a esophageal web too. Can't blaim the totally on the eating. LOL well, ok we can since I got really sick about 3 days later.

Oh see...my mother is Jewish, so there ya go!  Every day, week, and month revolved around what we were going to eat, LOL!

Oh, yes I totally went through this too. It was like I had to go through a period of mourning for the amounts I used to eat.  Now its about quality instead of quantity.  If I can only have a few bites, they are gonna be awesome bites, dammit!
Bren