Q.O.T.D.......

For our gay members......Since the weight loss has your identity within our community changed.....

For our straight friends.......Has your identity with in a group changed ? 

  I have gone from being a Big Bear....bordering on Chub....to becoming a Bear.....closer to a cub...I feel I am looked at differently with in the community especially by the younger guys. I am treated like I am in my late 20's to early 30's......Not seen as a Daddy Bear anymore. (I know too many terms). I am upset by this at times because I am still the same person.....but I am treated differently. I have always been outgoing but now I have guys interested in talking to me.....also when I was heavy no one was suprised I lived 35 miles from Boston. Now there have been many guys that are suprised I live 35 miles away....I find that odd..I think they percieve me as being younger than my age so they expect I live in the city where the action is........OK now it is your turn.....

Hi there!  I kind of think I know what you are talking about.  For me the gay community has always been wonderful to me.  LOL but then again I live in San Francisco!   But I now notice that a lot of straight people now acknowledge me and talk to me a lot more!    At first it kind of made me feel wierd, but now I kind of want to say....."You never really had time to speak to me before, so don't bother now!"  Of course I won't do that as I don't want to be a mean person!  Great topic!~Ann~

Sean, I've been pretty much out of the local bear social scene for the past 10 years, but given that I'm 10 years older than you (I think--I'm 52), I imagine that most younger guys would still consider me as impossibly decrepid, even with the weight loss.    On the other hand, maybe I'd get points for living only 5 miles from Boston!

I have to admit though that this weight loss really does shave years off.  Even I can notice it now!

/Steve

I have not really had the time to drop my lbs, but I have always been a hot piece of ass in Charlotte being femme...there is a great amount of butchy women here so I am loved a lot!  JOKING!!  But my lbs have never hindered a date...but I cannot wait to the the "sexiest" thing here!  I think it is different for men.

i have no idea who i am anymore...

and that's not entirely because of the weight loss but it has certainly added to my confusion.

Sean, good topic. Since I am only 6 months out, I'm still trying to learn where I am within the Bear community. I get the feeling that I am a traitor to some and to some others I took the easy way out. I am 48 and down 132 pounds so far. Some cubs started calling me daddy about a year ago, but now no one seems to know what to call me. I'm treasurer of The Northeast Ursamen, so I'm involved with the Bear scene and I guess time will tell where I am within the community.

Sean, This is an excellent topic. I have been discussing it with several other bariatric bears on 411. Since I am only 3 months out and 40 pounds down, I don't see much difference. I think people perceive me different now. I sorta have gone from a bear with a big belly to a chubby bear. I think I will always be a bear. Let's face it.. I am pretty hairy and Will always be.

I don't see any difference in treatment from all of my bear fiends. They seem to be glad for me and think I look great. We'll see if I can make it to my 175 pound goal and what they will  think. I really don't think it matters.

Since I am partnered, like you,. (Well you are lucky to be married.), I am not looked at as a datable person. Most of the chats I have are with friends and people I have common interests with like you. I suspect some people looking for that traditional bear look would pass me over today in chats.

Hugs, you lovable bear!
Tom

You guys will have to start a "bears in the spring" group (like after hibernation!). Who knows, it could be  a whole new movement! LOL

Connie 

As for me, not yet.  I was a super duper chub.......now I'm just a super chub still (5'10"/318 pounds) maybe I'll get back into beardom soon and take my profile off biggercity LOL

This is an interesting post. I too live in San Francisco and because my husband used to work at the Lone Star that is our social circle. My husband was never a bear since he is a little guy and I guess I was just fat. I never thought of myself as a bear since I have near a body hair anywhere. I used to get flirted with by bears, cubs, otters, and chasers. Now that I am 100# lighter (190#) I find that I do not get as much attention. I do get many compliments from outside the bear community but feel like patrons at the Lone Star are looking right thru me.