Horrible news

So I just had my psych eval on Friday, and on monday, my partner had a mri for preop purposes for a minor surgery.  On Tuesday, we got a frantic call from her drs office, and we went to the imaging center to get a copy of the report.  The MRI discovered a tumor in her groin that looks like Lymphoma.  Our world just turned upside down.  I am very scared and thinking I am going to have to give up on my surgery in order to take care of her.  I dont mean that to sound selfish or whiny, just factual.  I lost my fiance to cancer in 1998, and my mother in law in 1991.  This is my third time around and honestly i am feeling a little like the comman denominator.  I am discouraged and frightened to go through this process again.  I wont have the insurance coverage after this year for the surgery, so its now or never for me!  Right now its looking like never :(

I am sorry.   Now sit back and breathe!!!!  Years ago I got the frantic news that I had lymphoma in my neck!!  I know the thought and feeling!!!
Lucky for me they were wrong after several tests.
I think I understand about the selfish part as the road to wls is a long one.   Not to be a smart ass, but maybe you both can recover together!!  Wish I had better answers!!!  Many prayers and thoughts I am sending you!~Ann~

(((((Hugs)))))

Hang in there. I know it will be hard until everything is settled down and the diagnosis has been checked out. I would think you could still have your surgery even though your partner may need treatment too. Maybe you could line up some friends or family to help for the brief time you both need help. You will recover pretty quickly.

Take care and take each day one day at a time.

Connie 

29 years ago my husband  had several lymph node biopsies in his neck. The slides were discussed at a national conference. They decided to delay treatment...and that was that.....His brother in law.........8 years ago his brother in law was diagnosed with non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma...he had several lymph nodes removed....and almost died.....DUE TO AN ANAPHYLATIC REACTION TO BENEDRYL !!! He is Jamaican and Black men in general have the most difficulty with cancer treatment.........OH and my Grand Father was diagnosed with Hodgkin's Disease in his late 60's......He died at 87 !!!  It could be serious it could be an annoyance...wait and see....and do not put your life on hold....OH and my mother just went through cancer treatments for ureter cancer...Initially it was diagnosed as advanced bladder cancer which has a very poor prognosis..then was told she had a secondary very rare skin cancer..She went through 5 months of chemo....did not lose a hair and  was sick about 5 days throughout treatment .....SHE IS 75 AND HAS LIVED ON THE ...C.A.N. DIET MY ENTIRE LIFE (CAFFIENE..ALCOHOL...NICOTENE) ..she was told she would most likely have to have her anus removed and have a colostomy bag.......well it turned out that 1 of the 14+ areas was truly cancer...she is going to have the one removed and that is it

Oh honey, dang. Just hang in there. Let them look at it and give you a better idea what's up. I'm sure this brings up a lot of stuff for you emotionally since it's possibly a third time around.

Sweetie, I am so sorry about your partner. She is very lucky to have you, but..you shouldn't put your life on hold. Go through with your surgery. This is something you really want and need. The way I look at it is this..your health is at risk too with being overweight. You can still be there for your partner, and still have your surgery. You both can help each other. Just hang in there Hon..

I am so sorry that you are having to deal with this!  I lost my partner to  b-cancer and it was a hardest thing I had have ever had to deal with.   But interesting enough, it made me a stronger person and I think that is what got me through my surgery as well as I did.  I was determined to succeed because Dawn was not able to (and she put up a bigger fight!)   Don't get down on feeling selfish, believe me, there were times when I thought I was not there because she was the focus of everything and everyone around us. All I did was be the caretaker (which is a job I loved because I loved her so much)  It is an odd feeling and I don't think selfish is the best word..... I am not sure how to descibe it!   With all this being said - I think that if you are this determined to have the surgery - have it!  Seriously... I was out of work for two weeks but was only "out of pocket" for one.  I had family stay with me two days after I got home from hospital (I stayed overnight) and then I just took my time doing everything. 

Now with all this being said - I am not sure what the Dr.s are saying for your sweetie.  Depending on that course of action and what the final test results say... you should be fine taking care of her... you just both will be moving very slow!  Plus friends and family with be there for sure!

Please don't think I am discounting all that she will be going through because I am not.... but sometimes in order to take care of the ones you love, you need to take care of you!  My heart goes out to both of you and if you ever want to vent/rant/just talk.... please feel free to PM me!
Valerie

Yeah, cancer and chemo is a ***** Depending on the type of Lymphoma it could be depends on how bad it can get. My friend had the Non-Hodgekins one and was sick the day after chemo but continued with daily life most of the time. She is also pretty stubborn and did it all on her own. I am prolly the worse person on her to ask the question on should I do this. My hubby was set against this cause we didn't have the money, blah, blah, blah. Everything he came up with I could counter. Long story short, I had it done cause I had to be a selfish ***** I had to put me first when it came to this since it was my health that was at risk, not his. You will be moving slow but you should be able to take care of each other. After a few weeks you should be able to take of her better than pre-op. Good luck hun, like WLS this is a secision only you can make.

First of all I agree... Breath. Although that is SSOOO much easier said than done. Second it doesn't mean you can't have your surgery. It is VERY quick recovry.

But most important don't worry yet.. Wait and see what the final diagnosis is.

 

My prayers and thoughts will be with you.