Perception

The oddest thing I am finding as I share that I am going to have this surgery is the amount of people saying I dont need it.  You arent that big.  My own mother and I had a very long conversation in which she swears I was only 160 pounds in high school.  I was really 200.  She finally conceded I was, but that I never looked like I was that heavy.   I totally relate to the guy who is dealing with why dont you just diet comments.  I am active and athletic and fat.   People dont tend to see me as fat, but I still carry over a hundred extra pounds on my body everyday.  It is sure weird having to convince people that I am "that" fat.  People have in their head what obese is.  The bottom line is I weigh 260.  I am Five foot six.  Yes I run.  Yes I play sports.  And Yes I am fat.  It hurts to do all those things.  I wish that I could just lose weight.  My metabolism doesnt work.  I am on 8 pills a day trying to make it work,  but people dont see that.  I feel the need to convince people that I am making the right decision.  I know their opinions dont matter it is just so wierd to me.

you know it's funny. i had the same thing happen to me all the time pre-op (5'0" and 254 pounds!!!) but now that i've lost all the weight i have conversations with people and they tell me that this was the best thing i've ever done for myself (well no ****!!!) i think that pre-op they just didn't know what to say and had a hard time being totally honest with me about my appearance.

I went through the same thing.  When I was 500 pounds, everyone thought I was only 300 or so.  We all carry our weight differently to the point where it's very hard for people to actually notice how big we are and the stresses it puts on our bodies.  Just goes to show you that they really don't know anything unless they walk a painful mile in our shoes.

how are your knees baby??? Last time we chatted they were giving your fits

It also depends on who is saying it. If it is someone close who loves us, it could be coming from a place of fear.

What I started saying for comic relief was... "Don't worry, It's just God forgot my metabolism and my surgeon is going to go in and find it..."

 I'm there, too.  I'm 5'7" and 240lbs.  I don't look it because I'm pretty evenly proportioned.  But I have sleep apnea, snore like a trucker, my knees hurt, and I have insulin resistance and hypothyroidism.  And even though people think i look "ok", i can't look at myself in the mirror without wanting to cry.  I work out a lot, too, which has improved the tone of my body, but it hasnt really helped me with the weight.  I did exchange some fat for muscle, but i still weigh way too much.  And in 10 more years I'll have diabetes and heart disease and need new knees....NO THANKS!!  I'm a solid girl, too, but too much is too much.  I'm smoking hot at 170lbs.  It's still a big number for a lot of people, but I wear an 8/10 when I'm there.  Funny thing is when i was there, i still thought i was fat!!!

People tell me i look fine now, especaily since i've been exercising.  But if i stay this weight or get heavier, which is probable if i do nothing, I will be sick and miserable in a few years.  You're not alone, RedB.  Totally feeling u...----Sandy

You sound exactly like me.  Its hard because I know I am getting older and I cant play football forever.   I am getting to dang old.  I too think about what happens in ten years without football.  I keep firm and looking ok to everyone else, but what will I look like in ten years?  How much worse will my insulin resistance and thyroid issues be?  I totally agree with smoking hot at 170, I totally can relate.  When I am 170  I look like someone elses 150.  I too thought I was fat there, and I was freaking rodeo queen.  LOL.   I look at those pics now and think wow.  I was hot.  My girlfriend is almost the same weight as me, and because she is not proportionate, she looks so much larger.  Its all in the hips for her.  I am just kinda normal shaped, with padding...lol.  Its nice to know I am not the only one who doesnt look her weight. 

I had someone just say that to me today. "You don't look that big." I laughed fairly hard. I was tempted to stand up and turn around and show her the odd gathering of something where my ass meets my thighs..People that aren't fat don't have that. LOL Bless their hearts...every ******g one of them.

I am a big guy. 5'7" and I doubt if I will get below 200.....F' the charts.....Everyone told me I was a big guy......but now they say I look Big and Great !!!!