Back for a shot of inspiration
Hello all,
I am actually a member for at least 7 years and I am 5 1/2 years out from my surgery. I found myself today looking for some much needed inspiration so I turned to the place where in the past I have found that the most. For the first 5 years after my surgery I kept my weight at a normal BMI. Suddenly I am finding those nasty pounds clinging to me. I am suddenly grazing like some sort of starved antelope and I need it to stop NOW.
I have had a lot of really severe stress in the past 5 years and frankly I think it all caught up to me. Now I am going back to my old ways of dealing with it and I am eating when I shouldn't be. I honestly never thought that this would happen to me. I lost 237 pounds and kept every ounce off until the last few months and I don't want fat to be part off my life again. I am starting to hate myself for doing this and I need some inspiration to get moving and stop eating.
Anybody willing to give me a boot kick in the butt would be appreciated! I know that this is a strange hello, but there is my story in a nutshell. Anybody?
Best,
Amy
I am actually a member for at least 7 years and I am 5 1/2 years out from my surgery. I found myself today looking for some much needed inspiration so I turned to the place where in the past I have found that the most. For the first 5 years after my surgery I kept my weight at a normal BMI. Suddenly I am finding those nasty pounds clinging to me. I am suddenly grazing like some sort of starved antelope and I need it to stop NOW.
I have had a lot of really severe stress in the past 5 years and frankly I think it all caught up to me. Now I am going back to my old ways of dealing with it and I am eating when I shouldn't be. I honestly never thought that this would happen to me. I lost 237 pounds and kept every ounce off until the last few months and I don't want fat to be part off my life again. I am starting to hate myself for doing this and I need some inspiration to get moving and stop eating.
Anybody willing to give me a boot kick in the butt would be appreciated! I know that this is a strange hello, but there is my story in a nutshell. Anybody?
Best,
Amy
Hi Amy!
I am no good at kicking people in the butt...not much of a cheerleader either...so I don't know how much help I will be, but here are my thoughts, for what they are worth...
Today I am two weeks post-op. I am just getting started on this journey and I have a long way to go. I am where you were 5+ years ago, trying to learn how to live in my newly modified body and facing an uncertain future. Can I do it? Will I be one of the success stories? Will I fall on my face and not succeed? I read somewhere that you can either be a great inspiration to people or a terrible warning. I want to be an inspiration. I don't know how long it will take, but today I choose to focus all of my energy on that goal. I know it will not be easy. I know that there will be days when I have to remind myself of my goal. I am hopeful though and I am trying.
Amy, you are where I want to be someday. It is amazing that you have lost 237 pounds!!!! Amazing!! Although you are in a dark place today, you can't ignore the fact that you have accomplished something incredible in your life. Don't hate yourself. Be gentle with yourself. You are only human.
You went through some stress and hard times and have found a way to cope...with food. Unfortunately, it is an unhealthy coping strategy for people like us. You also have other options. You exercised one just by coming here today!
5 1/2 years ago, grazing was a normal part of your life. You had surgery, you worked hard, you lost the weight, and you are not that person any more. You are an inspiration to me and to others who are just starting out. Whenever you feel the urge to graze, stop and remind yourself of that fact. Remind yourself of the person you are today and the incredible goal you accomplished! Take a deep breath and walk away from the food. Drink some water. Take a walk. Lock yourself in the bathroom if you have to! :) Just don't fix it with food.
Good luck to you!
Kathy
I am no good at kicking people in the butt...not much of a cheerleader either...so I don't know how much help I will be, but here are my thoughts, for what they are worth...
Today I am two weeks post-op. I am just getting started on this journey and I have a long way to go. I am where you were 5+ years ago, trying to learn how to live in my newly modified body and facing an uncertain future. Can I do it? Will I be one of the success stories? Will I fall on my face and not succeed? I read somewhere that you can either be a great inspiration to people or a terrible warning. I want to be an inspiration. I don't know how long it will take, but today I choose to focus all of my energy on that goal. I know it will not be easy. I know that there will be days when I have to remind myself of my goal. I am hopeful though and I am trying.
Amy, you are where I want to be someday. It is amazing that you have lost 237 pounds!!!! Amazing!! Although you are in a dark place today, you can't ignore the fact that you have accomplished something incredible in your life. Don't hate yourself. Be gentle with yourself. You are only human.
You went through some stress and hard times and have found a way to cope...with food. Unfortunately, it is an unhealthy coping strategy for people like us. You also have other options. You exercised one just by coming here today!
5 1/2 years ago, grazing was a normal part of your life. You had surgery, you worked hard, you lost the weight, and you are not that person any more. You are an inspiration to me and to others who are just starting out. Whenever you feel the urge to graze, stop and remind yourself of that fact. Remind yourself of the person you are today and the incredible goal you accomplished! Take a deep breath and walk away from the food. Drink some water. Take a walk. Lock yourself in the bathroom if you have to! :) Just don't fix it with food.
Good luck to you!
Kathy
Hi Kathy,
Sometimes the universe works in such mysterious ways that it makes you stop and exhale. You just gave me one of those moments. As I sat and read your kind words I honestly thought about where I was when I was at your part of the journey or actually a little bit after that. When I was at your part of the journey I was too ill to think. As soon as all that nonsense passed I went at this as my pledge to myself that I was going to be a success. Reading your words I knew in my heart that you were speaking for me, at me, to me as if indeed I was looking into some kind of strange mirror.
Admitting this weight gain to someone was part of my journey back to healthy. I wrote the post and then I went for a walk of a little over a mile and then I came back to my desk to find your email. I am now sitting here drinking a much needed bottle of water.
I think you underestimate yourself. You are a cheerleader and you just touched me in many ways with your words. You also made me believe that something in the universe wa****ting me up side my head when I read where you were from. You see the stress that I spoke of that has been in my life began in Cincinnati. You may have even heard about it on the news there. You see my partner's daughter, Michelle Dieterle, was murdered in Cincinnati on June 28, 2006. Since that time, even with the horrible stress that was attached to everything that we have been through I was able to keep my weight stable and to use the anger that I held inside against the person who took her from us as some sort of strange drill instructor to keep me on track. It wasn't until after the trial last year right around this time that my, shall we say, mis-eating began. At that time I began getting uncharacteristically angry and upset with people. I went to my doctor who prescribed an antidepressant which helped calm me down, but honestly I think helped me a bit to gain this weight. It makes me too calm making it too easy to not do what I need to. It's like when the trial was over, my lack of focus began.
Someone from Cincinnati being the first to answer my post is almost like a little note from Michelle encouraging me. Trust me, I am not a freak about equating everything to what happened or to Michelle, but it just seems like sometimes the universe speaks to us in subtle messages. I have learned to pay attention to these things in my own way.
Sorry for the digression, but I believe that this stress has played a big part in what has been going on with me lately. Now I need to turn it around and use it for me instead of against me. Today I will begin to really heal and to give myself a break for a change. The biggest break will be the breaking away from the food. I know that this isn't the answer and it is time for me to get stronger and move into the future.
All this said, I thank you and everyone else who has answered my post. I will keep you in my thoughts and I will in turn become a cheerleader for us all and I will once again be a regular here. It is with each other that we can find strength through this journey. We really can do this together. Keep up the good work and the good energy and know that I send warm hugs to you and all the others as well. I am going to do this.
All My Best,
Amy
Sometimes the universe works in such mysterious ways that it makes you stop and exhale. You just gave me one of those moments. As I sat and read your kind words I honestly thought about where I was when I was at your part of the journey or actually a little bit after that. When I was at your part of the journey I was too ill to think. As soon as all that nonsense passed I went at this as my pledge to myself that I was going to be a success. Reading your words I knew in my heart that you were speaking for me, at me, to me as if indeed I was looking into some kind of strange mirror.
Admitting this weight gain to someone was part of my journey back to healthy. I wrote the post and then I went for a walk of a little over a mile and then I came back to my desk to find your email. I am now sitting here drinking a much needed bottle of water.
I think you underestimate yourself. You are a cheerleader and you just touched me in many ways with your words. You also made me believe that something in the universe wa****ting me up side my head when I read where you were from. You see the stress that I spoke of that has been in my life began in Cincinnati. You may have even heard about it on the news there. You see my partner's daughter, Michelle Dieterle, was murdered in Cincinnati on June 28, 2006. Since that time, even with the horrible stress that was attached to everything that we have been through I was able to keep my weight stable and to use the anger that I held inside against the person who took her from us as some sort of strange drill instructor to keep me on track. It wasn't until after the trial last year right around this time that my, shall we say, mis-eating began. At that time I began getting uncharacteristically angry and upset with people. I went to my doctor who prescribed an antidepressant which helped calm me down, but honestly I think helped me a bit to gain this weight. It makes me too calm making it too easy to not do what I need to. It's like when the trial was over, my lack of focus began.
Someone from Cincinnati being the first to answer my post is almost like a little note from Michelle encouraging me. Trust me, I am not a freak about equating everything to what happened or to Michelle, but it just seems like sometimes the universe speaks to us in subtle messages. I have learned to pay attention to these things in my own way.
Sorry for the digression, but I believe that this stress has played a big part in what has been going on with me lately. Now I need to turn it around and use it for me instead of against me. Today I will begin to really heal and to give myself a break for a change. The biggest break will be the breaking away from the food. I know that this isn't the answer and it is time for me to get stronger and move into the future.
All this said, I thank you and everyone else who has answered my post. I will keep you in my thoughts and I will in turn become a cheerleader for us all and I will once again be a regular here. It is with each other that we can find strength through this journey. We really can do this together. Keep up the good work and the good energy and know that I send warm hugs to you and all the others as well. I am going to do this.
All My Best,
Amy
Hi Amy,
Kathy's right, you're an inspiration! Don't let yourself be fooled by the emotions of the moment, and don't fall into a trap of hating yourself. You have proven that you can take control of your eating habits and your life. Losing 237 pounds is more than enough proof that you have what it takes to make it through this rough patch.
My surgery is coming up on Monday, and I'm excited and terrified at the same time. People like you are why I have the courage to go ahead with it. You got your life back, and you're showing that you're on track to keep it by virtue of the fact you posted here. Thanks for your honesty. Please know that we're sending you positive vibes and good thoughts. You've already done the hardest part, and I know you can whip this part too!
Perry in Nashville
Hi Perry,
Thank you for your words and thoughts. I am really going to try to pick myself up and to care for me again in the way that made my journey sucessful.
For you to say that people like me give you courage means a great deal to me. Know that I too will return the positive vibes to you and I will keep you in my thoughts as well. Please let me know how you are doing and know that Monday is the first day of your new life. Buy into the tool and make it work for you.
You inspire me my friend.
Best,
Amy
Thank you for your words and thoughts. I am really going to try to pick myself up and to care for me again in the way that made my journey sucessful.
For you to say that people like me give you courage means a great deal to me. Know that I too will return the positive vibes to you and I will keep you in my thoughts as well. Please let me know how you are doing and know that Monday is the first day of your new life. Buy into the tool and make it work for you.
You inspire me my friend.
Best,
Amy
Hi Amy! Nice to meet you. I'm a 18mo preop member, so don't have the answers from WL experience. I know you can intervene in these behaviors and change the grazing. Someone else can do the booty kickin. Your post brings up other thoughts for me.
My questions:
Which came first - grazing, or hating yourself? Are there things from the past few months/years that you need to acknowledge were human errors? Anything you need to make amends for (especially to yourself)?
Anything/one you lost in the last few years that you need to grieve for? Maybe a warm, snuggly blanket and a cry would work better than some padding to shield you from the world.
God/dess bless you!
My questions:
Which came first - grazing, or hating yourself? Are there things from the past few months/years that you need to acknowledge were human errors? Anything you need to make amends for (especially to yourself)?
Anything/one you lost in the last few years that you need to grieve for? Maybe a warm, snuggly blanket and a cry would work better than some padding to shield you from the world.
God/dess bless you!
Hello back to you,
It is indeed nice to meet you as well. I really think that the hating myself lately has come from the grazing. Knowing that I have come so far only to go backwards is making me so angry with myself. As for the human errors, no, it was an evil human (see the whole post again to understand). I think the only amends that I need to make are indeed to myself. I am not perfect and I need to realize that and get back to the basics to get this weight off.
As for the grieving, yes, a loved one and that will take some time. I have already cried all the tears I have. I think now is the time to put that energy into use for something new.
Thank you for your kindness and good luck on your journey to come.
Best,
Amy
It is indeed nice to meet you as well. I really think that the hating myself lately has come from the grazing. Knowing that I have come so far only to go backwards is making me so angry with myself. As for the human errors, no, it was an evil human (see the whole post again to understand). I think the only amends that I need to make are indeed to myself. I am not perfect and I need to realize that and get back to the basics to get this weight off.
As for the grieving, yes, a loved one and that will take some time. I have already cried all the tears I have. I think now is the time to put that energy into use for something new.
Thank you for your kindness and good luck on your journey to come.
Best,
Amy
Hey Amy!
I'm just 4 months post op and I can tell you that you are already an inspiration to me. I would love to lose the amount of weight that you have lost. The best thing you can do for yourself right now is NOT be hard on yourself in the least. Just dust yourself off and get back on that wagon! You did it for such a long time and it's time to get back to basics! We are here for you during times of stress and the want to graze and not eat healthy! Talk to us!
Aaron
I'm just 4 months post op and I can tell you that you are already an inspiration to me. I would love to lose the amount of weight that you have lost. The best thing you can do for yourself right now is NOT be hard on yourself in the least. Just dust yourself off and get back on that wagon! You did it for such a long time and it's time to get back to basics! We are here for you during times of stress and the want to graze and not eat healthy! Talk to us!
Aaron
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