transfer addictions ~ how do i save myself before i o.d.??? please help me...

**sigh** ok, idk if you guys remember or not but earlier this year i had problems with laxatives (dulcolax, specifically) and in the fall of last year (and the summer and spring too i think) i had an addiction to chocolate ex-lax, although i didn't dare admit to that one. well now it seems that i'm addicted to pain pills, nausea suppositories, muscle relaxers, sleeping pills and pain/nausea shots for migraines. (<--some of the migraines are for real, some are not.)

for example: sunday i took (at least) 18 phrenalins which is butilbital + tylenol. and for no reason too except that i hurt ~ inside ~ a LOT! my job is potentially going down the toilet, my girlfriend just left me, i just moved and have a hernia from doing it all by myself, my finances are all gone to **** and idk what to do with myself anymore since i can't eat my feelings and since i don't KNOW anyone. seriously, i have NO friends irl. NONE! and yesterday i only (*ONLY!*) took 6 of these but today i've already taken 10 (and it's still early yet...)

i WANT to be okay, i WANT to be healthy ~ and i know what you're going to say "get thee to a therapist... PRONTO!!!" but i can't. my insurance doesn't cover any mental health stuff and i can't afford it on my own and i (currently) make too much money to get on a sliding fee scale.

so... what to do??? please help me. i can't die. i just can't. my daughter would go to my ex who DOESN'T EVEN KNOW HER CORRECT NAME!!!! and that would be the worst thing in the world

where to begin? OK, i had a friend who overdosed on  Vicodin the day after her baby's 1st birthday. She left behind 3 children all under the age of 6. She also had WLS years prior but had  "chronic" knee pain so relied on the pills. The Tylenol is what fried her liver and ultimately caused her death (there's a reson there's a max dosage!!). Her mom and brother are raising her 3 kids.. 2 of them will never remember her.. You need to get help as I know your daughter means the world to you!!  Please don't take this as a scare tactic, it's not my resoning for telling you, but when I hear children are involved at whatever level.. I need to share the story cuz the ending just plain sux!!

You may be just one person in this world, but you may be the world to one person!

http://www.pos-ffos.com/

           
http://jay-mcmurdo.virtual-memorials.com/main.php?action=vie w&mem_id=9181&page_no=1

It is extremely difficult to get off pain medication without help. It needs to be handled by professionals. There are treatment programs which allow you to have children with  you. At least call around to the local programs and check them out. See if there is a Pride program in  your area--it focuses on GLBT folks.

You have to get  help or you won't have a daughter.

Connie 

There are a lot of treatment programs that are available to people that do not have insurance and/or cannot afford them. Honestly, by the time many people who are addicted get into a treatment program, they do not have any resources left to them.

There is also Narcotics Anonymous, which is free. http://www.alnwflrscna.org/content/ is the website for your region. On the site, you can find a meeting and some help. At a glance, it looks like there are two different meetings in your city just about every day.

Don't let money be the reason that you don't save your own life.

Z

If you've developed an addiction to narcotics, you do need to seek help.  It's not your fault; it's an addiction.  True addiction can actually change brain chemistry.

My suggestion would be to hit a Narcotics Anonymous meeting.  If you can't find one, find an AA meeting.  These are groups of people who not only understand your pain and cir****tances but who have formed a fellowship where you can feel comfortable talking and may be able to find some tools to help you overcome this.  Just go.  If you don't want to talk, just listen.  Isolation is a powerful enemy to mental health. 

Good luck and hang in there.  Take care of yoursefl and talk to someone in person about this.

Be careful!  You need a pro to help with the addictions.  It can be dangerous to try to quit yourself.   Counseling, support, and other assistance should be available from your local city or county.  The yellow pages or a google search should get you started.