Why I haven't posted in a while....
Well, I don't post very often (shame on me), but I have had one of the worst Augusts (months) of my life...
In June, the school year ended early, thus giving me a few unexpected days off. Always a good thing. Well, during this time, I was notifed that two good friends had cancer. In the end of June, I made a trip home..where I had the opportunity to visit (in a hospice house) one of my friends. Sadly, she didn't recognize me at all. I had to bring in "fat" photos for her to "realize" who I was. She responded to the photos..and often sung "Oh Danny Boy" while I was visitng. Well, I left top come back home, knowing that I would never see her again.
In early July, I left for a wonderful nine night cruise to New England and Canada. It was a wonderful trip. Beautiful nature, terrific ship, incredible service, great food!!! However, prior to the cruise, I was able to see another friend who was diagnosed with breast cancer. Luckily it has been caught early enough that major precautions and actions can be put into place. While it was during this trip that my friend at home passes away.
Upon returning home, I started to spend more and more time with my next door neighbor. She has been suffering with brain cancer for two years...and during these past few months, her health has been waining. Well, since mid July, I was going over daily, helping her out...cooking for her and her husband, etc.
Well, I got a phone call from home, and was told that a very close friend of mine died. It was difficult for me because she has been in my life for over 30 years. She was my second mother..my life mentor...and my inspiration. I ended up flying home for the memorial service..and again I was in a situation in which I wasn't recognized. Finally the family asked who I was and when they realized who I was...they asked to get together to talk about her and mine relationship. Needless to say, the only loss in my life that I could imagine being more painful would be my own mother. What made this so difficult and painful was that I was an out-sider and pretty alone...
Upon returning home, I ended up taking care of my neighbor. I spent many times a day picking her up when she fell, feeding her, etc...As the days went on, things really began to get worse. It got to the point that I finally told her husband to contact hospice ( I have worked with them for years). I also told him he needed to prepare for the end. Well, on August 10th.. I told him that things weren't right with her..and that I didn't foresee her lasting more then a week. This is when he called in hospice. They told him the same. On Monday, she went into a coma...and each day I was there..helping out. Well, without going into a lot of details.. one week later... I ended up (at 10pm) telling him and his sons that she had passed away. I sat with her till hospice came to declare her deceased... I ended up helping the funeral parlor people wrap her up and carry her out of the house. I then started the process of support for her husband...her children....and a neighbor.
All in all, it has been pretty tough. I had my three year annivesary and I am up to 170 pounds... origionally from 340..down to 155. I hate being 15 pounds heavier... HATE IT...but the doctor is thrilled. He wants another five or ten pounds added to my frame...NOT!!! I want to get back to the 150s... I hate how I feel, but in my head, I know that I am at my healthiest.
I have had some good times... my cruise, a beach day, etc... but, all in all...it has been pretty rough. I really haven't been myself. I am pretty exhausted..drained...and I am dealing with waves of saddness. I am not really depressed. I definitely do not need medication. I know that I have to deal with sadness and suffering....and I would definitely like to deal with it while downing a chocolate milkshake...but I will okay. Things will get better...
Needless to say, this is why I haven't been aroudn this summer. Thought I would finally share my issues...only because I knew that some of you have been concerned. I am okay.. I like the Phoenix...will be reborn from the ashes... Yes, call me a Drama Lover!!!!
In June, the school year ended early, thus giving me a few unexpected days off. Always a good thing. Well, during this time, I was notifed that two good friends had cancer. In the end of June, I made a trip home..where I had the opportunity to visit (in a hospice house) one of my friends. Sadly, she didn't recognize me at all. I had to bring in "fat" photos for her to "realize" who I was. She responded to the photos..and often sung "Oh Danny Boy" while I was visitng. Well, I left top come back home, knowing that I would never see her again.
In early July, I left for a wonderful nine night cruise to New England and Canada. It was a wonderful trip. Beautiful nature, terrific ship, incredible service, great food!!! However, prior to the cruise, I was able to see another friend who was diagnosed with breast cancer. Luckily it has been caught early enough that major precautions and actions can be put into place. While it was during this trip that my friend at home passes away.
Upon returning home, I started to spend more and more time with my next door neighbor. She has been suffering with brain cancer for two years...and during these past few months, her health has been waining. Well, since mid July, I was going over daily, helping her out...cooking for her and her husband, etc.
Well, I got a phone call from home, and was told that a very close friend of mine died. It was difficult for me because she has been in my life for over 30 years. She was my second mother..my life mentor...and my inspiration. I ended up flying home for the memorial service..and again I was in a situation in which I wasn't recognized. Finally the family asked who I was and when they realized who I was...they asked to get together to talk about her and mine relationship. Needless to say, the only loss in my life that I could imagine being more painful would be my own mother. What made this so difficult and painful was that I was an out-sider and pretty alone...
Upon returning home, I ended up taking care of my neighbor. I spent many times a day picking her up when she fell, feeding her, etc...As the days went on, things really began to get worse. It got to the point that I finally told her husband to contact hospice ( I have worked with them for years). I also told him he needed to prepare for the end. Well, on August 10th.. I told him that things weren't right with her..and that I didn't foresee her lasting more then a week. This is when he called in hospice. They told him the same. On Monday, she went into a coma...and each day I was there..helping out. Well, without going into a lot of details.. one week later... I ended up (at 10pm) telling him and his sons that she had passed away. I sat with her till hospice came to declare her deceased... I ended up helping the funeral parlor people wrap her up and carry her out of the house. I then started the process of support for her husband...her children....and a neighbor.
All in all, it has been pretty tough. I had my three year annivesary and I am up to 170 pounds... origionally from 340..down to 155. I hate being 15 pounds heavier... HATE IT...but the doctor is thrilled. He wants another five or ten pounds added to my frame...NOT!!! I want to get back to the 150s... I hate how I feel, but in my head, I know that I am at my healthiest.
I have had some good times... my cruise, a beach day, etc... but, all in all...it has been pretty rough. I really haven't been myself. I am pretty exhausted..drained...and I am dealing with waves of saddness. I am not really depressed. I definitely do not need medication. I know that I have to deal with sadness and suffering....and I would definitely like to deal with it while downing a chocolate milkshake...but I will okay. Things will get better...
Needless to say, this is why I haven't been aroudn this summer. Thought I would finally share my issues...only because I knew that some of you have been concerned. I am okay.. I like the Phoenix...will be reborn from the ashes... Yes, call me a Drama Lover!!!!
Daniel Patrick Fluharty, NBCT
Be yourself, nobody can tell you that you are doing it wrong!!
Hi Daniel,
I'm very sorry to hear about all of the heartache that you have been going through this summer. the wheel of life can be very diffacult sometimes.. and this is one of those times for you.. but you have to remember it wont last.. it keeps turning.. and soon you will be in a different place again..
but for now.. my thoughts and prayers are with you.. you will make it through..
and if you need to chat more.. Just keep posting.. we are here for support..
Huggz..
Brightest blessings! one day i'll be a muscle Bear!
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