Please Excuse My Ignorance

recap...married.....great hubby......but (with his support) have decided to explore my bi-curiosity. So this week I got asked to lunch from a woman...I went and had a GREAT time. We talked and the time flew by. She's attractive, well spoken, interesting, and has a great sense of humor. She did hug me after lunch and then later that day sent me a text thanking me for our date and that she thought I was "beautiful and sexy" and would love to see me again. (ok...interjection here....how come men never send sweet texts like that? lol) Then later last night another girl asked me to a local club for women....lesbian bar I guess. We are meeting there at 7 on thursday. So far....I'm just meeting people.....and I'm having a good time chatting with them, talking about my feelings, finding out I have things in common with others..... But how do you know when to take the final step? I'm admittedly nervous. But at the same time... I feel like a huge weight is being lifted off of me. More at peace with myself. Make sense? And how different is dating girls then dating guys? Any different protocols? Rules? Help. xox Tammy

Rules for dating lesbians? Here are a few: 1. Always try to wear a pair of Birkenstocks or a flannel shirt. 2. Do you own a cat? Might be a good time to get one (or more). 3. By all means, FILE DOWN YOUR NAILS! 4. Femme, butch, "femmy butch," "butchy femme," lipstick lesbian, dom, etc. It's all so very confusing and each comes with it's own rule book. Try the "Special Interests" section at your local bookstore. If anything else comes to me, I'll be sure to let you know... Better yet, why not take your confusion and "bi-curiosity" to a good therapist?

because all the talking about it doesn't make it go away. and I did. She asked me out. Now I need a new therapist. Anymore questions?

lols, i just read this... it was your therapist? now THAT'S what i call "talk therapy"!!!

I don't see how bicuriosity warrants a therapist. That's pretty offensive.

LMAO!!!!!

sweetie, really, just be yourself and have a good time (and yes, for goodness sakes, FILE THOSE NAILS DOWN!!!)

omg...i didn't even think of that. LOL. I am just being me.....and I'm totally upfront with everyone that I'm married and a total newbie.....and that I dont' need a toaster.....(silly joke someone made to me!) thanks!

Tammy - people are people.... just be yourself. There is no difference between dating men or dating women except for the fact that women understand women better so your conversations will be different. I would advise you to be honest with the girls you go out with... there are enough games/drama in the "breeder's world" - we don't need anymore in ours. Plus I think the GLBT has always been labeled for all the drama/games. I don't see it as much anymore. I think women (can't speak for the men) but I think the lesbian community has matured. They are not all about the games. We go to dinner, the movies, the bars, all the typical date venues. I have even gotten some of my date ideas from my straight friends. It is all pretty standard stuff.... except for the sex but that is another conversation! Have fun - don't put any pressures on yourself. You are going to meet some amazing women.... you might meet some losers too but again, it goes back to the statement, people are people. Not sure how the whole marriage thing is going to play.... it is easier for people to say they would accept it (checking out your bi-curosity) then accepting it when it happens. Best of luck to you.... I can't imagine how difficult it must be to be bi.... I think I am the lucky one - never been interested in men so it was never a decision or something I had to work out. - I always knew who and what I was.... Valerie

Hi Tammy, I sent you a PM regarding your last post on this subject here on the GLBT board. Since there was no interest from you to respond, I'm thinking the way I interpreted your first post was way off base. That makes me sad, so with that, I'll try this angle (with yes, a tone of sarcasm): Since you're MARRIED, and your "great hubby" has given you the green light, I'm thinking this has nothing to do with you possibly wanting any type of relationship of substance, afterall, you ARE MARRIED. (Unless, you and HE are into a 3-way relationship in the future.) So, thinking that you're looking to get physical with a girl, just go for it! If you get turned down, go to the next one. And so on... Here are a few suggestions to help you accomplish your goal: (It works with men or women, as the outcome is the same, getting laid.) Get her drunk. Generally touchy-feely follows shortly thereafter. Put in add on Craig's list for some girl on girl naked lovin'. Wear a nice ****ty outfit to a lesbian bar, showing up around 1AM. Hope these suggestions help you to reach your goal. BTW, I don't know why you'd feel that anyone on here (GLBT) would condone supporting cheating on one's spouse for the sake of self gratification (for me, I'm rather insulted.) I believe you should post this on your more frequented SEX FORUM.