Partner support

Does anyone feel like they are not or have not gotten the support from their partner? I know my wife does not want me to go thru with the surgery (she likes "thick"..another word for fat) girls and really wants me to stay the way I am, but i am doing this for my health...not for vanity. In any case, I feel like she really does not want to talk about it, but when I want to talk about it, I feel like she shrugs me off. I have talked to her about this and she says she supports me and is interested but I do not get that feeling at all. Plus she wants us to move out of state in the next couple months. My surgery won't even for for another couple months!! I thought that was selfish of her. I read a lot of horror stories on here about split up. Should I prepare for the worst but hope for the best? This sux! That is my rant.

Hi Sommer, My hubby did NOT support me at all before surgery. He did they same thing your wife does and doesn't want to talk about it. The closer I got to surgery the more he would come up with crap about RNY. It pissed me off because if he wanted to know stuff he could ask me or watch a video that my Dr. made. He also loves big women. We met in an MSN chat for BBW's. I kept telling him I wasn't doing this to get skinny but for my health. Since surgery he has changed. He is supportive (in his own way) and loves the fact that I am healthier. Oh he also loves to play with the jiggly fat I now have instead of the hard fat. I was afraid I would be a statistic of a split up post-WLS but we are doing fine as of right now. Good Luck with everything.

I don't blame you for ranting. It sounds like you're a little more commited than your wife right now. I'd say it would be wise to "prepare for the worst and hope for the best". Meantime, do what you need to do to care of yourself.

Thanks you guys..I am so new here and can already count on the support. Awesome. I have to do what is right for me or I will never "really" be happy. i want to be around for a while..I have more to do in this lifetime!

I did get a lot of support from my partner. When I told her I was going to do this she decided to do it too. She had her band three weeks after mine. However, she is much smaller than me and she will reach goal this year whereas I won't. So sometimes I feel bad that people react more to her weight loss than mine because she is a normal size now. I told her I should have made her wait a year before she had surgery. We will work it out and it won't hurt the relationship in the long run. We are able to talk about these kinds of things and end up laughing. I think you should take the earlier advice and hope for the best and be aware of the worst. If your partner leaves, she wasn't the quality you deserve! Connie