Family issues...

Out of town in WV for 6 days. Unable to get to this board without my own computer, as I have it saved in "favorites". I went home for Grandfather's funeral & a buttload of family drama. It was so incredibly sad and not just the funeral. I had not seen my mother but once in 17 yrs. (long story...divorce, mental illness, abuse, etc). She looked so tiny & old. I remember her as a short woman, but heavy. Then I find out she is sick. She's been diabetic for a few yrs. & now insulin dependent. The worst part is she has MRSA. She's having surgery tomorow a.m. I suffer from PTSD related to my childhood and man, this is rough. I always have guilt, but the level of guilt right now is high. I live in NY and what can I do...rhetorical of course. I dunno. I did miss you guys. Thanks for letting me vent. Visiting here gives me peace. ~April

Sorry for this difficult time. I'm glad visiting here gives you peace. I hope you can also put your guilt aside and be nice to yourself. You are worth it! Connie

Thank you, Connie. Working on the guilt all my life. Some days are better than others. Just a rough patch right now. Again, thank you. ~April

I'm so sorry you are going through such a crappy time. I will keep you in my thoughts. It would be nice if you could fix it all, huh? But, it sounds like a lot of the stuff was created before you were. I hope you will be able to find peace.

Thank you. Your reply hit home. You're right, I do want to fix it all, but I know I really can't. Most of the time I am fine and reasonably normal...gmao! A co-worker always says, "This too shall pass.", which is true. It's just so damn difficult getting from here to there though. Again, thank you. ~April

(((((HUG)))))

April....You are the survivor of a very difficult childhood.....going back home is never going to be easy.......I want you to know you took the difficult childhood and became a strong helping person. You could not be in your line of work without drawing your strength from deep with in you. You are also taking care of yourself ...which is much more difficult for a person with a backround of abuse......and I also feel you did well to get with your Hotty Husband. I hope he is the kind and caring person you deserve. Seeing the people from your past will never be easy.......but today is today....and not 10,15 or 20 years ago........keep being the kind person you are.........a successful SURVIVOR

I guess I have to follow the One Day at a Time advice right now. I made it through the week and most of today. I'll tackle tomorrow, tomorrow. Thank you for your kind words. And Hottie Man is a sweet man. He always says he's lucky to have me, but that always goes both ways, ya know. ~April

April, you know we love you. I don't have any advice, but I wanted to give you a big hug. Rachelle

Hugs are good! My mom's surgery was postponed 'til this Thurs. Her doctor forgot to tell her to stop taking her blood thinners, so they had to postpone. She's very nervous and selfishly, so am I. Thank you hugs right back at ya. ~April