My wife doesn't love cripples

After being together for 5 years, and being married for 2 years my wife has told me she fell out of love with me. She is a very physically active person who just can't imagine spending the rest of her life with someone who needs to use a wheelchair from time to time. My heart is broken. She moved out, after I told her to go . . .she said she wanted to leave. I'm not a consolation prize. I'm the same person I've always been, just a bit more complex. I should have known she was self-absorbed when I was losing weight after my RNY on 4/1/04 when she started getting jealous. Not of all the attention I was starting to get, but because I weighed less than her now. I bought myself a cat from a no-kill shelter and am giving myself a lot of patience and mercy right now. Ladies/Gents, can you remind me that I will survive? Can you remind me why anyone bothers to fall in love? Sorry that it seems I'm only here when the worst is happening. When I need support I come running back to my beloved fatties. With healing wishes for all, ~Lara Lap RNY 4-1-04 450+/@goal and maintaining for 3 years

Lara, I am so sorry you are going through this. Good for you for getting a fur person and giving yourself patience and mercy. That is a great decision. You will survive and eventually you will thrive even if it doesn't seem like it now. I'll bet this is more about her and less about you no matter what she says. Keep taking care of yourself. You deserve a loving partner who can focus on who you are, not what you can do. Sending ((((((((hugs))))))))!!! Connie

Somehow it's just not comforting to know that my best friend and lover for over 5 years is gone - and there's nothing I did wrong. Bless you for sending so many hugs - I'll take them. I'm doing the best I can to take care of myself. My friends and family are very loving and supportive. I've got a great therapist - who I met when getting approval for my RNY 5 years ago too. Thank you for affirming my belief that I can and will find a partner who will love me exactly as I am. ~Lara

I know it is painful and nothing anyone can say will help that. I, too, am glad that you rescued a kitty. She is obviously capable of only a very shallow love. I would love Sharon if she were 100 lbs, 1000 lbs, in a wheel chair, armless, legless and bald. It is who she is I love. You deserve someone that will love you like that. And now that you are available, you will find her. Warm thoughts your way.

So far I'm finding that sharing my pain is helping me lessen the burden. Any words of comfort and compassion help - and I appreciate yours very much. She wasn't like this before. . . she changed somehow, and turned away. It's not like I can chase her you know? If the love is gone, then its best I find someone else who is capable of loving me as I am. My furbaby is the sweetest kitty in the world. He chose me at the shelter. I honestly thought that he never stopped purring - because for the first 3 days he was home - he never did. His love and affection are my tether to sanity. You're an amazing partner. Your wife is a lucky woman. Bless you for your kindess and support, ~Lara

((((( hugs Lara ))))) Take care of you!

You are a beautiful person. I'm sorry you had to experience such hurt.

I'm so sorry for this nastiness you have to go through. Keep taking care of yourself, because even if she couldn't see the greatness in you, YOU CAN. I think that this choice of your wife's speaks more about who she is than it ever will about who you are. Shame on her for her shallowness. It will come back and bite her someday. I hope that your heart heals soon.

I am truely sorry to hear of all the pain you are going through at this time. Some people can adapt to change some cannot. The person YOU fell in love with was not able to cope with the changes in your life...good and difficult.....Her inability to adapt is her problem. She is going to have a difficult time with that. All relationships go through adversity. You either adapt or move on......There are many people out there who will accept you for who you are NOW. Russ has loved me through some very hard times he was able to adapt to the changes in our lives, but I have several friends who were not as fortunate . I am curious why you need a wheel chair at times.

Lara--that bites. Sorry it happened but you are better off without her if that is her attitude. Try some musical therapy--I like Helen Readdy's "I am woman" and Donna Summer's "I will survive". I think it was Donna Summer. I may be wrong on that, but the song is still a good one.