Stupid hubby

I figured I would get some good advice here. I don't know who else to ask and this board is more life support than anything else. The hubby is wanting a M-F-F 3 some. I had made the mistake before we were married of saying I thought a 3 some would be interesting (I was talking M-F-M). I also knew that I would never have gone through with it. He is obsessed with having one. I am so not into it and he keeps bringing it up. He is also obsessed with having anal with me and that is something that so turns me off it's not funny (sorry guys, I still love you tho ) Any advice on how to get it into the hubby's head with out beating him?

MY MY MY MY MY!!!!! I see we just went there.... I'm not going to get into this too much...unless other people jump in... but a sure fire way to know konw bad someone wants anal... Tell them..."You first".. offer to strap something on, and give him a go.....then it's your turn... russ

He's offered to let me do that. Even that doesn't appeal to me.

Kathy, I don't think any partner/spouse should talk you into doing something that doesn't work for you. It's disrespectful at one level and abusive at the other. Why does he insist on something that turns you off. Does he listen to you? I always tell clients that these conversations need to take place out of the bed with no TV, computers, children etc. to distract you, eyeball to eyeball so both are listening. I hope he will listen to you. Connie

I'd like to know why he wants so badly to have sex with someone else other than you! Nevermind the fact you so clearly don't want anything to do with it.

I'm glad you felt at ease to ask us! > The hubby is wanting a M-F-F 3 some. [...] > I am so not into it and he keeps bringing it up. I don't mean to offer you bleeding obvious advice that you've tried already, but have you tried just levelling with him by saying exactly what you're written here? (Except for the bit about "stupid hubby", of course!) I mean, it's one thing to idly wonder about a threesome in the middle of some sexy pillow talk, but that doesn't constitute a prenuptial agreement that you might actually WANT to do it or that you WOULD. You shouldn't feel obliged based on something you said in the past: deciding to open up a relationship (either once only or ongoing) is a big deal. It's a big deal for any couple no matter what their sexual orientation is. > He is also obsessed with having anal with me > and that is something that so turns me off it's > not funny (sorry guys, I still love you tho ) With a screenname of "Poohette", I'm surprised to hear this! (Sorry, I just couldn't help myself!) Anal sex may be a little more "transgressive" in a heterosexual context than in a homosexual (gay male) context. Not all gay guys like anal sex; if someone isn't interested in it, no amount of pestering or annoying his partner is going to make much of a difference. I'd expect the same to be true for women, if not more so. "What part of 'NO' don't you understand?" should be all that you need to deal with any of this. And you really should only have to say that once and forever. Don't think you're wrong for feeling that you're being pressured completely unjustifiably; you're not wrong. /Steve

Stoopid is right! What's the deal w/ husbands anyways? I love mine, but he drives me crazy & not in a good way...LOL I enjoyed Russ' answer immensley I've done the F-F-M before marriage. It was fine for me & my idea. But the couple I was with have had some problems afterwards. She now considers herself Bi and he is sorry what he wished for He's jealous as hell anymore and she's hot for anything that moves I think the bottom line is that you've said NO and he needs to back the hell off. If he doesn't, then go to your plan B: beat it out of him. Heck, ya never know, he might decide he likes the beatings and drops the 3-some idea all by himself

Kathy, Didn't anyone ever tell time 2's company 3's a crowd???

Kathy, I am a little concerned with what your husband is looking for sexually. No is No....Russ does not feel comfortable with anal sex.....so that is off the table PERIOD !!! I am concerned that he might have a distorted view of a sexual relationship and initmacy. I look at it this way, bringing someone else in avoids intimacy. Asking for something that you do not feel comfortable with also affects the level of intimacy. I also wonder if he had expiriences in his life that have negatively distorted his attitudes towards sex. I do not want to get to "Psychiatric" on you but I am wondering if he was sexually abused.....just a question

Don't know. He did tell me he had a 3 some before and wants to do it again so I can experience it. Thinking back now once he started pushing for this is when I started to lose interest in sex. Thanks for all the responses guys, it really gives me stuff to think about.