Chubby chasers

Ok since we have some new people....lets talk about a real gay issue...Chubby Chasers... and this is not just for the guys....the gals have a whole set of chubby chasers too.... When I was fat, there was a entire army of guys wanting to get it on, only because I was fat....and there were Bears, and rolly pollies, and Jolly rogers., Bulk Male...all of the big guy organization, that welcomed me....and I will say, that made me more comfortable in my overload of weight....and they were my friends..... now things have changed....Now i'm not a huggy bear, i'm sneared at as a gym rat...this is a whole segment of our community, that will not be around me because of how I look...it;s like reverse discrimination....damn if i'm fat, damned if i'm thin....several people told me to take the bear sticker off my car.... It's still the same me....I don't push anything on them...and I really prefer an guy with a little meat on his bones....not that I want them unhealthy...but a preference.... so here is the Question.....how do you handle being..un-invited by the community that you once embraced....? This may not have happened to anyoe else but me....but there is a sort of reverse snobbery, in the heavy guy communiity.... Am I the only one??? russ

Well, I can't say I know what that's like obviously, but I am guessing that it can feel kind of lonely knowing that you are sort of an outcast... but why does that have to be? You may not be a Bear anymore but you can still be a chaser. Don't take that Bear Sticker off your car, you are still a part of that community, you're just no longer a chub, you're just on the other side of the field now. I know I always enjoy a hot chaser like you!!

It was not a personal type of lonely....more a WTF!!! A little anger, but sad as to the situation...it just suprised me....and the rumors...he has a virus...that BS You know I know all people come in and out of your life....and that is fine...it was just a suprise how it happened....this happened way before I hit goal.... made me think of "The Ritz"...you are way too young to remember that movie...but a great gay bath house movie Russ

I guess that people are simple and big changes scare them. I have heard so many people say that when they were fat their relationship was fine, but as they got skinnier they ended up losing friendships, lovers. There is a lot of insecurity going around, and when someone decides to change their life for the better and get WLS it makes some people very uncomfortable because then they feel like they are being judged because of your actions, and when you belonged to a group that always has people that are big and have grown comfortable being a part of that community when you decided to lose weight it brought their values into question and they hated feeling like that, so they might have taken their insecurities out on you... or I may just be talking out of my ass... either one is good I guess.

They are still being jerks of course . It's a shame that even in our community you still get ******** that are ready to start rumors and be hateful to someone because of change.

Hey, Russ: The movie "The Ritz" just came out on DVD this month (after years of being out of print on VHS tape!) Check it out on Amazon.com! Rita Moreno as Googie Gomez (an over-the-top, talentless chanteuse to die for) Jack Warden (the straight gangster hiding out in the bathhouse) Jerry Stiller (the guy trying to kill Jack Warden) F. Murray Abraham (a screaming bathhouse queen) Treat Williams (!) (a PI with a very high voice) and the chubby chaser from hell! You young'uns would do well to rent or buy this DVD. Never forget where you came from! /Steve

Russ, This post has really hit home with my situation right now. Ever since I decided to have WLS the chasers have been contacting me. Where were they when I tried to commit suicide 23 months ago????? I could have used them then. I am Treasurer of The Northeast Ursamen and have been involved in the bear community for the last 10 years or so. While I have many supporters of my upcoming surgery, there are others that look at me as if I were a traitor. I just tell them that I will always be a bear, inside and out just a healthier one. I am loosing weight, not fur. BIG bear hugz, Rich

I haven't been actively involved with the so-called "Bear Community" for about 10 years (sometimes I describe myself as post-Bear), but I got the definite feeling back then that the original Bear bodytype was being supplanted by muscle bears and bearded hairy guys no more than 10-30 pounds overweight. Not that I dislike either type (not at all!), but I began to get a sense that big bears were being relegated to second class status. Now, as far as "chubby chasers" are concerned, I've always felt a little uncomfortable with guys who were only attracted to me because I'm heavy. I recall one gay pride march in Boston, when I walked past one information booth for a Boston "chubby chaser" group, and I swear, from the attention I was getting, I felt like I was wearing a costume that looked like a chocolate eclair. (Shudder) That's just my hangup, I guess. Maybe there's an explanation there for why you're feeling excluded now that you no longer fit the body type. When a community is formed based solely on appearance, if you lose weight, you're going to eventually fall beneath their sexual radar. Compared to a chubby chaser's ideal, the standards for membership in the "Bear Community" are so fluid as to be non-existent, I rarely observed anyone being given any explicit grief for not meeting someone's idea of being a bear. It's a shame that people told you to remove your bear sticker from you car (I thought bears weren't supposed to be *****y! ) /Steve

Hello all. Not necessarily that I know anything about this either way. I have never been anything except in a closet. The only thing I have ever had before my partner was one time one night stands. I found someone that loved me though for whatever I was, fat or small. Not that I am small by any means. I have been seriously cruised by one guy since my WLS and I was just floored. I didn't know what to do to. Not than anything has happened with it or ever will. But DAMN it felt good to be looked at. I still look at guys of any size and hope that they still look at me, but if not. screw em. Tommy PS to Russ: I am gonna tell all. I am not bashful.

I've wondered that when I signed up for the surgery. I had a friend in Chicago that wanted to come and visit me, but since I've told him I'm having WLS, I've not heard from him. I find that chasers are a very weird breed. It seems to be a particular fetish with them (or at least the ones I've come across). You need to be a certain height, weight, age, etc. I've all but given up on the chub-chaser community. I guess I've never really fit into any of the gay "labeled" communities. Which, I guess the point of this post is, is fine; as long as I have good friends, I'll be better off than any community that associates based on a look. (Which I think is what almost all of these gay communities essentially do.)