Dissatisfaction in life

Hi. I am experiencing dissatisfaction in the following areas: - Occupation. - Social. - Life. - Self esteem. - Romance. - Everything else. I'm tired of the stagnancy. However, I have begun attempts to alleviate the aforesaid complaint points: - I've applied to go back to college in spring (hopefully). - I've applied and interviewed for a couple of jobs at the hospital I currently work at. - I try to keep in close contact with my friends. - I cut my hair, am wearing better-fitting clothes (jeans!!!), and am contemplating trying to wear makeup on a semi-regular basis. - There is nothing for romance. I haven't tried anything lately. I don't know how I'd go about it. I tried dating for the first time when I was 19 but failed pretty spectacularly and haven't tried since. I really have no self esteem at all, and even if I do, it's fleeting and I tend to crash within minutes sometimes. I don't know how I'd go about it. Where would I even start to look for someone? (When I was 19 I looked on craigslist -- I still can't believe I did that! ) I don't see why anyone would want me, I'm too immature and I think my body's pretty ugly. I don't know why I felt like posting this here. Do I want sympathy? Maybe, who knows. I'd like, for once in my life, to be HAPPY!!! I'm too young to be so sad and pathetic!!

Hi Rachel, First off, congratulations on all the positive steps you're taking to improve your life! Self esteem is somethng that gets built up slowly. Remember, you need to counteract a lifetime of low self-worth that you have developed. This next year is going to have major positive implications for your life and your self-esteem. It is your ime to heal, not only physically, but emotionally. If you focus on your goal of improving your health, that will help improve your self-esteem, and more importantly, help you to learn to love yourself again. After all, you can't truly love someone else until you love yourself. Psychological counseling is something you may want to consider to help you along. You're doing all the right things, Rachel. Now comes the hard part, patience and faith that it will all work out! best of luck to you, John

I do see a therapist, but only every two weeks though I'd rather go once a week. Thanks John

Hey to you, my surgery sister. I've been in a similar place for the last week or so. I've got a lot of amazing great things going on in my life, but I am feeling crappy and dissatisfied. I don't know if it's similar for you, but I think that it's all part of some self-sabotage in which I tend to engage. If I allow myself to focus on the stuff that's good, I'm sometimes able to feel differently about the same situation. It's excellent that you are taking concrete action to impact the areas of your life that are leaving you less than thrilled. That's exactly the kind of thing that will pull you out of that spot when you carry it through. As for the romance, that will come when the time comes. Trying to hurry it usually ends up with disastrous results, in my experience. Besides, would you really want to be having to think about someone else during such an amazing transition for yourself? This year is a great time to be completely self-focused. You have given yourself an amazing opportunity to create the self that you want to be. Take advantage of it! You are smart and pretty. Enjoy it and use it. Zandra Q

I'm not so concerned about romance, really. I'd much rather get my life in order first and then let things happen. Hell, I live with my parents, and the thought of telling someone I live with them doesn't sound very romantic at all

We all deserve to be happy. Happiness comes from within, but it's nice when you can share it with someone. Sit back, RELAX, and love will come!! I met my partner online and we've been together almost 5 years. Before her, I was always looking for that elusive partner and had my heart broken so many times! When I stopped trying so hard, love found me. If I can be of any comfort or help, please write. ((((( HUGS ))))) Cherry

I have no problem with using the internet to find someone, but it's craigslist that's a little creepy for me

There are many places to meet people...sporting events, church functions, support groups. I met my partner at a mutual friend's party. You can be proactive about meeting people, but I think that love has to take its own course. You are being proactive in many areas of your life, and that is good. Self esteem is a hard one. I'm 43 and I've been working on that issue my entire life. It is definitely an important issue. The first part, I find, is thinking positively...about everything. There is something positive to find in anything, any situation. For instance, I used to complain that my knees and back hurt after raking the leaves outside. Then I turned that around. I'm now grateful for two things....the beautiful leaves that I have the privelege of seeing daily and the fact that I'm healthy enough to do the work. See what I mean? Not that I have the best self esteem...and it is up and down on a regular basis, but it has helped me tremendously. You posted this here because you want support from your peers. Nothing wrong with that sweetie. That's what we are all here for...to support each other.

Your motivation for change is what will help build your self esteem. The more you openly expose yourself to the world with out expectations or agendas the more comfortable you will become with yourself. Let change happen...Take the steps to put change in motion....But do not get discouraged if it does not turn out the way you thought it would.....Self acceptance is one of the most difficult things I have ever had to do.....Some times I do well with it sometimes I do not.....We are our own worst critics...Try not to be so hard on your self.... And please understand you can post whatever you need to here....That is why we are all here....And.... we all have our times of need...And times to give to others in need this is a place of acceptance and support...Sean

Hi Rachel, I'm not sure if this will help, but I read this person's WLS story the first week I was on this site and it really filled me in on what to expect as far as the changes that come from living life through changes we all face in the future months. http://www.obesityhelp.com/morbidobesity/members/profile.php?N=h1052788238 As far as feeling down and making changes, I think those are all ways of growing and adjusting to change. Its normal in my life and in what I have read of other's experience. As far a romance, social networking has always worked better for me than other options, getting to know people socally though a club, committee, or art class is a better way to people that know other people. This is less pressure on you than looking directly for romance, and its more of a way to expand an meet people and get to know yourselve though other people eyes. Loving, learning about you, and acceptng yourself helps in the journey. Have the best of times, Herb