not in love

idk, maybe i am. i'm just not really sure right now. i know that i really like my gf a LOT (most of the time) but then there are days (sometimes weeks at a time) where i say "YOU STUPID ******G *****!!!!" in my head after everything she says or does. it isn't supposed to be like that, is it? i mean i really don't know because i've never been in this situation before. in all my past relationships i've always been clingy and needy but now it seems the tables have turned and all i want to do is shrug her off every time she reaches out for me. i don't want to hurt her feelings because she's really a very sweet girl and she tries so hard to please me and to make sure that my daughter and i are happy and that we have everything we need but i just can't stop thinking that i might be stringing her along or something. but then again, it could just be all these hormones going through my body right now with the weight loss and all. maybe i DO love her. i'd hate to throw something this good away just because i wasn't feeling it for a minute, ya know? and it's not like i can just sit down and talk to her about this because she's very insecure anyway (SHE TELLS ME SHE MISSED ME WHEN I COME BACK TO BED FROM GOING TO THE BATHROOM!!!!) and i know that if i show any signs of not being sure of our relationship that'll just blow everything up. so... how do you know? how do you know if you're in love with someone or if it's just like? how do you know that you want to spend the rest of your life with someone if you don't ever have time to know what it's like to be without them? how can you miss someone if you're always together????

Best way to tell? When its for real, you aren't asking yourself these questions. Seriously.

yeah... that's kinda what i was afraid of... i mean, she's my best friend and all (actually, my ONLY friend really...) and i really really love spending time with her and the sex? omgs!! awesome!!! but for the majority of our time together i'm secretly hating it and waiting until it's time for me to go to work or for her to go to work so we can FINALLY have some time apart. i've never had a relationship that worked (obviously or i'd still be in it!) so i really don't know what it takes and how you know if it truly is working. i was thinking (hoping) that if we could maybe find a way to be apart from one another more (like if she didn't live with me and wasn't all up my butt all the time!) then maybe i wouldn't resent her so much. i'm a very private person anyway and i really adore my "alone" time and it's killing me to not ever have that anymore! maybe i'm just not a "relationship" type of person, idk...

Do you both work? You could try to switch your shift so it's opposite of hers.. I know some people here who do that

yeah i'm a graphic artist at the local newspaper so i work m-f 8-5 and she works at rent-a-center so pretty much the same except that she's off on wednesdays and works saturdays. and lemme tell ya, with the exception of her texting me 50 million times a day on saturdays it's absolute HEAVEN to be alone in the apartment or for it to be just me and my daughter at home!! that sounds awful doesn't it?

Wow, it does sound awful, only because she sounds so annoying! :/ I'm sorry you have to put up with that. You need to take some sort of vacation from her, seriously!

lols, it makes me realize why none of my other relationships worked out because "I" used to be like that, haha!!!

Maybe you are more like Shane or Papi? A love-them-and-move-on kind of woman? No, seriously, the most likely thing is you just haven't found the right one yet. Still, there isn't any rush--I am not advising you to break up with whats-her-face tonight or anything. Start by telling her that you need a little more space in your everyday life. See how she responds. And then, for crying out loud, DON'T feel that you have to respond to every text message, either. You might warn her by saying that you are going to be busy that day but you'll see her that evening. Then just let everything from her go to voice mail or wherever text messages go (I don't really know how that works and don't care to--the only texts I have ever got are from my wireless co--giggle). I have been in a series of bad relationships but have been happily partnered for over 14 years now. It hasn't been all roses by any means--but we are both willing to communicate, to compromise, and to try to meet each other's needs. That's what it takes..

i don't think i'm like shane or papi because i'm not that slick, lols!! but i think i would prefer to be WITH a shane or a papi, if that makes any sense?

That makes a lot of sense, especially at your age--you should have seen me during the 1980's--I had a whole decade to play around in!