what a relief

I am soooo happy to have found you all, I could weep! :'( OK, so I've only been trolling the internet for WLS info for a few weeks, but I cannot tell you what a RELIEF it is to find this message board. I was beginning to feel like the only lesbian on the planet to be considering WLS!!!!!! Here's my brief story: both my wife (we got "married" last month) and I are MO. Last month, my wife's doctor tells her she wants her to consider WLS - she comes home and tells me and within two weeks I completely fall apart. I have a GREAT life, and have felt for so long that to want WLS was to be ungrateful for everything I have, but I feel so shackled... something I hadn't let myself really feel or think about until a few weeks ago. So now I've decided to pursue surgery - have already gotten a referral from my PCP, an therapist to help me work on eating issues, an appointment at the bariatric center (I am lucky to have a very highly ranked one minutes from my house), and am on the road to insurance pre-authorization. Here is the stress point right now (besides considering turning my entire life upside down with WLS) - my wife is utterly TERRIFIED of this surgery, both for myself and for her. She's having nightmares, not sleeping, and is completely freaked out by talking about it, while I can barely concentrate or think of anything else at this stage. Has anyone else dealt with this with a partner?? If so, any words of advice and encouragement would be REALLY appreciated... i guess that's all for now. xmasmama

Anne had a gastric stapling back in the 80's before we met but gained back most of the weight--I had the DS in 2003 and she had a revision to an RNY in 2004. So between the two of us we have prettty much done it all! I lost 170 lbs in 13 months, going from a size 26 to a size 10. I am now very healthy and happy and would do it again in a heartbeat! Anne didn't have the same degree of success, but she did admits she didn't put as much into it as I did. She would have liked to have gotten a DS but we couldn't find a surgeon who would revise her previous surgery to a DS and who also took Medicare (she is disabled). Make sure you research all your surgery choices is the best advice I can give you. Lots of people have the RNY just because that is the only one they hear about or the one that insurance covers easiest--but the DS actually has much more normal eating patterns afterwards and the best results in both long and short term. You can go around and lurk on the surgery type boards to see how people with different surgeries do at different stages of their journeys. Good luck!

Welcome Xmasmama! My partner was TERRIFIED about my surgery. She was supportive but would burst into tears when talking too much about it. She made it through my surgery just fine though and is happy for me. She is somewhat over weight (She weighs what I want to weigh! lol) She has lost about 25 lbs just from us not having so much junk in the house so she is feeling pretty good about herself. It was hard for me that she was so afraid for me. I didn't know how to reassure her or help her. She went to all my support group meetings with me and went to my surgeon's appointment and was able to ask questions. My totally positive attitude about it helped her some. Good luck to both of you. And I agree, make sure you check out all surgical options.

HELLO AND WELCOME !! My partner was very apprehensive about the surgery at first. The more he learned about the procedure the more comfortable he became. I also had him speak with our PCP. The PCP told him the risk vs benefits. He has been very supportive and is happy with how much healthier I am now. I am down almost 50lbs since the end of August. I agree that you should RESEARCH....RESEARCH...RESEARCH !!!! I had laproscopic banding surgery. It has worked well for me...but for others other surgical procedures are better. GOOD LUCK IN YOU JOURNEY !!!! Sean

Thank you for the kind replies. It has been a very emotional and difficult period since making this decision - and that's just making the decision! The insurance battle, and all the other steps are still looming in front of me. I appreciate knowing this forum is here... xmasmama

I had the lapband surgery October 23 and my partner will have it Nov 13. When I mentioned it after our doctor told me about it, my partner was shocked I would consider it, but after we talked to the doctor together she was sold. It took us almost 11 months to get it set up but we are thrilled to be here. We are looking at this as a tool which was not available to us before. We have a great life too, have taken many Olivia trips even being MO, and knowing what the food is on cruises, have already figured out how we can take another cruise. I am barely two weeks post surgery and already I have so much more energy--so go for it!